When it's least expected.......

I vote smile the moment your tippy toes hit the ground as you exit the bed each day - ie, get that crap done/over early, then ya ain't gotta worry about it.

I jest, but sometimes kinda sorta.

Every.  Every girl I've fallen for...... every person I've befriended long term...  Every which way but loose, NO, scratch that one.  I'd Googled "songs with the word 'Every' in the title" thinking maybe I could find one that would make someone laugh, couldn't, sorry. Every girl I've fallen for - wonderful smile, same with folks I befriend.

Oh yeah... EVERY.  Smiles, to me, loom large.  I was gonna say "Smiles loom large" BUT, for someone else they may not.  I'm old, I can say stuff bugs me. Like.  Like when someone starts to tell a story and prefaces with "Funny story... " and then follows telling their story.  I'm like, "Lady, you waityour turn for a laugh, 'cause WE'LL decide if it's a funny story or not."

So, smiles, MY OPINE, loom large.  What's the saying?  "Find the kinda friend who makes something like going to the gas station to fill up - fun."  Wow, like today, with gas prices as they are, if that person is of the opposite sex, you have fun, ask 'em to marry ya.  If they ain't, ask 'em if you can borrow twenty."  Victor, not everyone is attracted to the opposite sex.   YOU'RE not making this blog about smiles, smiley!  But.. you are correct.  So I should say, "Find the kinda friend who /makes something like going to the gas station to fill up - fun, and love 'em if you like 'em."  That work?  Just always remember, "No glove, no love," er, I mean, "No gas, no .squeegee."

Where I was going, before I drove everyone past Quick Trip and their gosh forsaken $6/gallon gas - was to smile. Smiles are the foam mattress pad to siff bed... the salt shaker to an extra dry piece of baked chicken.  Smiles (other's smiles) precede thoughts "you are yummy', "you look fun", "come on, I'll drive, we'll get in trouble together," or, did you really answer the company phone "State Farm, this is Jake."?

So, imagine my surprise when I Google 'how smiles are misconstrued' and I find out they've been studying smiles since 1835.  Why?  What happened in 1835 to makeya wanna study smiles? Well... the first assassination attempt on a President.... Wars.. hella wars.. The Ragamuffin War in Brazil..The Texas Revolution.. The Second Seminole War.. Civil War in Uruguay.. OK OK, I get it.

Come to find out, they claim "5 types of smiles."  These studies, btw, are taken by 'need to know' snooty patooties.  Like, jury consultants, recruitment consultants, forensic psychologists, crisis negotiators, espionage personnel, yada.

1. Duchenne's smile.   Huh? Dunno the origin, but this is supposed to be THE MOST genuine smile... one where the corners of your mouth go up so far, they make ya have happy eyes by squinting and ya ultimately get crow's feet.

2. Fake smile. OK, I guess we do know this one.  There are a kajillion and one fake smiles that follow the word "cheese." (This differs from being in a crowd, someone cuts the cheese, so ya smirk-smile.)  "Say cheese smiles" are fake.  Like the ones in the hallway when you walk by your boss... or, you use it when you're seated at a table with your wife and her best friend, and her best friend, well.. I don't think she's stopped talking since 1835, so that's one time to fake smile.

3. Uncomfortable smile. Scroll to above, yes, I guess you could use this one if it so happens you were the one that farted in a crowd... of, you hear someone say something inappropriate.. or, you just need to cover your feelings.

4. A seductive smile. I think these went by the wayside some time ago cause I ain't seen one since....ok, I jest again.  "Based on a study by  Riiggio, (whoever that is), when people try to flirt usually shows a positive effect. With a faint smile accompanied by direct eye contact, a gentle look but there is a wave of suppressed smile."  I kinda harken to call that jumno mumbo BS, and a seductive smile is one that speaks "Oh baby oh baby, hey Diane let's run off behind a shady tree and dispense with the Bobbie Brooks," or something like that.

And finally,

5. The sarcastic smile.  You use this one on people that are just quite frankly idiots. VICTOR!  Well, sorry, ya just do.  It's a "Did you just get here" smile..  or, a "You have got to be sh*tting me, right?" smile. Or, as maybe they woulda said in the movie Sandlot, "Did your mom have any kids that lived?"

I still love smiles, even after researching all that junk. Smiles, real ones, equal happy. Happy makes the medicine go down, the sun come up so one can dream for a seductive smile. Or a sarcastic one to make fun of your friends.  

Dankeschoen.. no Victor, damnit, uncomfortable smile here.. that's Wayne Newton's song.. You must mean Duchenne smile.  Oh yeah, that's it. Crow's feet. I want a heapin' helpin' o them so I'll get crow's feet.

Life's a gas, or can be, if your friend is fun to go get gas with.  Of, if you've got gas, you poot, and you get an uncomfortable smile because you ain't sure it was 'gas only', then you finally get to a john, realize it was just gas, Duchenne baby, Duchenne.

Have smiles...  (Duchenne, sarcastic, seductive, fake ones... all the fun kinds.) No squeegee no gas though.

Love, Victurd, no gas.

Enter smiley face here.....

They don't cost.

They make ya feel, as Andy Griffith would say "Goooooo---ooooood."

Don't need no license.  Permission.

Next best to L O V E  is a smile, but I ain't sure you'd have L O V E if smiles tweren't involved too.

There ain't no set proper time and place for one - but when you're freezin' and you get warm quick, yep.  When you're 'dying of heat' or so ya think, and you step in AC, yum.

When you're lonely and you get a text, a call, a DM, see a friend, loved one, a happy person, someone nice, yes, smile.

You ain't nuttin' but a hound dog, but, when your tail wags, my lips act like a tail when I immediately smile back.

Maybe the best smiles are when you don't wanna but there is something in life that happens that makes you smile.

Rainbows follow storms..  Potaters and tomaters follow rains...  Baby ducks follow mama and papa ducks.

99.9% of youth sports startout with fun and hella smiles.  If only they could stay thataway.

Thinking, recalling, helps me smile. It's like going out to dinner, having a big ole plate of lasagna, and later that night you getta second heapin' helpin' with a toothpick.

I bet, if we joined forces, promised we'd each smile a lot more, the folks that make happy pills wouldn't be quite as rich.  

Ya got me going in circles.......

You see, I jumped out.  Well, actually, mom and Doc probably pushed me out.

I would gather the first thing I did was cry.  This doesn't bug me.  Crying brings tears so ya don't overheat, band-aids so you can fix/stop oww-ies, hugs (the best).. expressing.. expressing of something you love, are skeered of, regret, thank, are amazed at...  Tears let you know pretty early, not all jumpshots go in, hey batter hey batter hey batter, not all swings precede that crack of the bat, sometimes, there just ain't equal like in a relationship.. and, that a fruit cake is about the only damn thing that lives on the planet forever.  Funerals suck, but, again, ya let the tears out. How poopy would it be if you didn't feel... if a loss meant nothing.. 

I cannot remember what was assuredly 'the good ole days' when mom would lay me on a blanket and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't move anywheres. Days Of Our Lives, Jack LaLanne, Dinah Shore, I don't remember none of it those first few years.

What goes up must come down, or so says Newton (Isaac, not Grundy.) This too has been a perty good prerequisite for moving thru the lunar cycles. Ya try and ya try and ya try (walking) and ya can't. Maybe, once or twice, whilst matriculating from crawl to walk, I busted a diaper pin open, I'm sure we all did. This brought tears, anudder band-aid and no memory of the whole damn situation.

We didn't have no camcorders back in the day, but I've seen vids of moms and dads who observe those first few steps of their youngin', and it's OOOOOOOOOOO  MMMMMMMM GGGGGGGGGG!  Of course I don't remember, but what I do know it, I am absolutely certain I had the (and advance apologies for the language, but there ain't no udder way to put it), ahm, I am absolutely certain I had that "Holy Shit, WHAT NOW" look on my eyeballs.

That look, fear, wonder, I-ain-t-never-done-this-before, skeered, happy, tell me how it ends, are we there yet - comes in vely handy in life.  "But dad, can we leave the training wheels on a bit more?"... Fast forward to 9 years old, bat in hand, a REAL pitcher on the mound, a pitcher who throws SO HARD, ya ain't got time to jump outta the way.  KA-THUD, right upside the rib cage. Holy crap I'm glad they didn't have the cams back then, it's a certainty the whites of my eyes were as big as the baseball.

And, that "HS, WHAT NOW" look would be circuitous for a lifetime.  You mean I passed my driver's test?  Is there really room on this two-lane highway for me and that semi a comin' that's a goin' 72 miles an hour?....

And, that look........ we all had the Paradise by the Dashboard Light, moment,look..... I remember that I had no idea what I was doing (scroll to the first time I went from crawl to walk... T-Ball to real pitcher.. Bicycle to beat up old Lincoln and that Mack Truck a comin')...... and some time later, that look... it accompanied the "Do you Victor, take (enter either 1st or 2nd here) to be your lawfully wedded wife?" (WAIT!  Can I go back to crawling'?  Training wheels?  My Schwinn?)

S'more shock and awe added to life.  "Ahm, I know this is the kitchen, but can you tell me which one is the stove, and doya know if it's gas or electric?".. "Hey, your leg is on my sidea the bed."  "Must you really read in bed until 2am? That light is bright and I gotta be at the plant perty damn early."........ "Hey baby, ya wanna?"  "NO? WHADDAYA MEAN NO?"... back to the crawling, the facing a real live pitcher, driving, hitting a curb, having a flat time......I GET KNOCKED DOWN BUT I GET UP AGAIN, YOU ARE NEVER GONNA KEEP ME DOWN.

Oh Danny boy.......

Then, then....... "______ and ______ sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G." Therein lies the problem.  Relationships are hard.  Damn hard.  And you wanna try SITTING IN A TREE kissing?  Duh. Then, I guess, somewhere along the way, the answer was yes, oui, si, ja, which led to First comes love, then comes marriage, a tree, or, the damn reading light off, and then comes lady with a baby carriage.  Which of course brings out all the "WHY YOU MISOGYNIST YOU.. YOU CAN WALK THE BABY TOO!"  So ya do.

So........ we cycle back to crying. S'more and s'more. If by chance colic is involved, you might feel like rewinding the tape, praying for a dead battery so the dashboard lights don't come on, or, one of you, whilst smooching in the tree - fell.  But, ya take turns.  My turn, her turn.  Hold the baby, rock the baby.  Walk the baby. I remember one night, prolly August of 1985 or so, the crying, colic had kinda gone on into infinitum. 11pm. 11:20pm. 12:03am. 12:47am. 1:13am. You get the drift, on and on and on and finally... (we were both smokers. OK damnit, I still smoke).. anyways, long about 3:17am the crying starts again... we were in the living room, awake, because that's how we lived those first 6 months (which seem like 7 years).. the crying starts again, I look at her and say "My cigarette is longer."

Another lesson for the circle, cycle of life.  Stuff like that don't work. Whatever (let's use Lola) wants, Lola gets.  OK, that's not totally fair and does sound a bit like misogyny - but, if ye be smart, "She win" is a standard we men maybe oughta live by. Or, the answer will always be no sugar tonight in my coffee, I've got a headache, not in the mood, leave me alone I'm at a really good point in this book I'm reading.

Soooooooooooooooooo, where were we...  Oh yeah, with infant.  There's that age, that stage where ya gots a blanket, you place infant upon it, and they don't/can't go nowhere. (Took grandson to pool yesterday, was a couple with an infant of that exact same can't go nowhere age.. I hope and pray they know how special that stage is, and how damn short it seems.)

Then the circle starts again, crawl to walk.  Fall, scrape, band-aid, tears. (Richard Simmons has replaced Jack LaLanne, heaven help us.) Days of Our Lives is still on. Captain Kangaroo has been replaced by "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh who lives in a pineapple under the Sea? SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS."

Diaper pins are a thing of the past. Heck, now they've even got those pull-ups for dads/grandpa's like me that can't tell the front from the back of a regular ole regular diaper.

So........... sitting back, watching a grandchild with colic, get up, get down, wake up, fall asleep, wake up, walk, fall, get a boo boo... it's kind of a sadistic joy for a grandparent to see, live thru, knowing that finally your child is getting their due.  I don't really recall my folks sitting back from afar with that sheepish 'ha ha karma' look, but certain they had it.

To be frank, ahm, mom and dad woulda had to have named me that.  Well, I mean.. (Is it just me or does that - starting a sentence with "I mean" drive you bat poop crazy?  What about the time you say a sentence and you DON'T preface it with 'I mean?'.... side note.. slight turn.. I was at my yummy hole in the wall breakfast joint the other day..  geezers (that's a definition of men just like me) were having a mostly friendly political battle. Yuck. Then, I heard one guy say "I seen your lips movin', so I know you lie!"

Where was I (again.) I was trying to figure out whereintheheck I was initially trying to go with all this.  And I ain't sure.

Originally, I'd intended to somehow wind down to things I really, really enjoy. Tears, strangely, is one. If ya don't feel, the hell is the use for even being here.

Kids. Sure they poop their diapers, pee in your face when you change 'em (at least the boys anyways) but dadgum are they fun, and a wonder.

The excitement (fear, joy, titillation) of things first time ever.

Grandkids.  Watching dad figuring out which side of the diaper is front. Putting together toys with a screwdriver at Christmas time at midnight.  Listening to "I'm not gonna tell you again" is maybe my second favorite 'song' behind "You can't always get what you want." (Grandkids.. "sure honey, you can have a second donut, you can eat double the veggies tomorrow"... and, as you drop 'em off..  "Oh, we swung by and got chocolate ice cream on the way home and I forgot to get napkins.. sorry!")

"You can't always get what you want" which redfacedly included tidbits about sex (or not.)

Ahhhhh cycles. The cycles of life are joyous. Up down. Fall cry. Boo boo band-aid. The eyes have it.

I do.

I do love life.

The good.

The bad.

The fugly.

The tracks of my tears.

Yours too?

Thank you for being here, and I do hereby swear to love you til the end of time, or until I can no longer remember your name.

Love, Victurd

A little boy went to school........

He was scared, but then he figured everyone would be scared.  Wasn't so. Some acted like they'd been there fo'ever. They were smiley, friendly, letya go in first when a door was opened, shared their cookies at lunch, patted ya on the shoulder when it looked like you needed a pat on the shoulder.

The little boy built a contraption. It was like a sieve... what he saw (went into his eyeballs), down a tube....there was one elbow in the tube where that, if he saw anything that was kinda distasteful, he'd whoosh it out that elbow.  The stuff that was yummy, he allowed it to continue down the tube to finally rest upon this place he called his heart.

As he grew, of course he needed a bigger belt, longer jeans, more room for his toes - and of course he loved his sister, but, when they rode in the back seat with mom and dad, she needed to scooch over some due to his/her, each, getting bigger.  

Thankfully, as his need for longer, cleaner, less holy Chuck Taylors arose - his heart was able to grow and add to the collection of yummy stuff that he really enjoyed by now.  Sure, there was that other ucky stuff that he pushed out the elbow - but thanks to some really nifty friends, it was seemingly less and less every year.

School's out for the summer. Should really be a song, it'd make mega bucks. Speaking of mega... the little boy thought ohhhhhhhh myyyyyyyyyy Godddddd this is so yummy.  He'd never worked a day in his life - but he'd witnessed his grandma and grandpa when they retired - how they got to hang out with their friends, do whatever they want, whenever they want, or not - and that's how his summers were!

He was lucky in that his heart, along with his friend's hearts - grew to keep pace with all the good stuff they collected. In a few years, he questioned "where did this dang hair come from?"and "how come I sound a little different", but he, they, trudged on.

Some buddies moved.  He'd never forget 'em.  Some new ones moved in.  He collected them with his eyeballs and gladly, gently pushed them down to his heart.

College happened one day and he awakened to ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh myyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy gooooooooooooooooooooooodnesssssssss "I thought summers were cool... where we were kinda-sorta retired like granny and grandpa... this college stuff is THE BOMB...school ain't 8am to 4pm... you go for like only three classes on MWF, two on TuThur, then, you have time to spend with all these new friends from different towns and some even from different states.  Grow heart, please grow!  And it did. He never fathomed he'd be lucky enough to collect friends to add into his heart that weren't from his local elementary school or junior high or high school. Groovy was a thing back then, and the realization there are really cool folks from allover was just that, groovy man. He knew he'd never forget his new buddies.

Then, he met that one.  Shiver me timbers. I think Janis said something to the effect of "take a place in my heart" kinda sorta, but I forget song lyrics.  Anyways, he rearranged stuff in his heart so there'd be mega room for this newfound love. A kid happened. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh myyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy frigginnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn goodnnnnnnnnessssssssssssssss.  Is this the real life, is it just fantasy, no escape from reality, a bouncin' ball of happiness caught in that landslide to his heart.

He noted as his hair receded, his tummy kinda stuck out a little, preceded, as he walked, I guess you'd call it.  He wrote it off as wonder.  Wonder in that the big ole belly he now had was really all this yummy stuff he'd whooshed into his heart, and it was just sagging down a little.  S'more and more friends, loved ones.  How could he not be happy?  The bigger the belly, the bigger the appetite, he kinda liked food, what better?

Occasionally, he'd run into one at the Piggly Wiggly that long ago he'd welcomed down that tunnel into his heart. It was as if it was 1960-sumpin allover again. They'd laugh, hug, learn about all the new folks in their hearts. Once a month, he so loved it when his old college buds gathered. Some had more hair, most less though actually... some had a bigger tummy like him.. most had smaller though actually... whatever.. it was just like they walked back into the world of shag carpet, paisley print. It was kinda like they could subconsciously hear Grand Funk Railroad in the background a screamin' "We'll come into your town, we'll help you party down,...we're all the ones you whooshed down that tube into your heart"... or sumpin like that.

Wow, lost one.  Tears.  And another, more and more tears.  Made ya feel like upchuckin', but ya held it in for fear another would escape from the heart into never-ever-see-em again land.

The years piled on, lovingly.  He had to work, but, he figured, what the hell, why don't I add all this nifty folks into my heart.  He did.  He was glad he did. Theys like family now.

Friends came, new ones, from every imaginable corner. Hi, I'm Gene, your new neighbor. I'm Turp, the new pitcher on your slow pitch team. I'm Steve, I'll help you coach our son's T-Ball team.

Some of his friends, well, they, like him, got divorced.  It's all good.  OK, mebbe not a hunnerd percent all good, but perty darn good.  Love was still there, they'd never completely leave that tunnel you funneled 'em into.

Tears.  S'more lost. This time, relatives.  Much, much, loved ones. The mirror told him this had taken a toll on his eyeballs, more lines under and over 'em... but the full length mirror told him "worry some, but it's all good, there's hella in that heart there and even the ones that you don't see again, they're there - reminders are everywhere."

Just when he'd thought he'd seen it all (as far as places these folks came from to welcome, push down that tunnel into his heart).. they'd come from grade school.. junior high.. HS.. college.. softball.. the neighborhood.. work.. friends of friends.. casual acquaintances.... he decided one day to logon to this new invention of Al Gore's.

Holy smokes. Shiver me some fire makin' timbers.. That person is cool.  I don't know 'em, I've never seen 'em.. don't care, I'm pushing them down the tube into my heart. I gots room.  Besides, if it makes my tummy grow a tad, so be it, it'll just afford another heapin' helpin' of lasagna.  He was finding this internet thing to be kinda a get rich scheme, without the money involvement. He was makin' friends faster'n Etsy could sell eyelash extensions or t-shirts with all kinda animals on 'em.  Weeeee dogggggies his friend Jed might say.

Every blog.. every book.. every love letter eventually comes to a close.  That "The End" part.

Thankfully, the good Lord willing, I woke up, fell outta bed, dragged a comb across what hair is left.. peeked thru the curtain, HEY, there's the sun. I got another!

Oh sure, it ain't a never ending story.. (if ain't ain't a word, then that ain't a double negative is is?)..but it's a mighty fine one (story) where he counts his lucky stars daily... and his friends.. and loved ones..  some, he ain't never even seen.. some, a few perty ones I might add, he'd smooched..  and there were brothers he'd hugged too, that handshake only they know.. blood family, the best.

Gravity.  It's all about gravity. That tunnel to the heart.  That great accumulation of loved ones in your heart that makes your heart sag, belly stick out. Suits me, I'll just buy a new, longer belt.  Mebbe run to the Thrift Store to grab me some $2 jeans in size (ha ha, you think I'd tell) to wear just until I lose all these pounds. (Ha, again).

Take another little place in my heart now baby...  or sumpin like that, right Janis?

Baseball... er, I mean life.. has been berry berry good to me. (Well, actually baseball too!)  That scared little boy that went to school that day has learned so much from folks.. he could give give give until we get a 47, 48, 49, fitty President, and he'd never be able to pay back all the kind folks he's gained down that tube into his heart.

Hi!  Welcome!

Another one! Who'da thunk the golf course is where one would find new yummy folks for the tummy, er, heart....

I'm thinking, all that additional space in the heart that makes it sag down to where my belly done sticks out more.......... could maybe stand an extra piece of pecan pie.

Take another little place in my heart now baby, or sumpin like that.

Love, Victurd

Help I've fallen and I can't get up.

 I can't remember squat. Well, i do.  That was a nickname we donned on a fraternity brother who was rather short.  He was what we called a house-boy, a fraternity brother who I think legally (work study?) made an extra nickel by serving us brothers during lunch and dinner. Squat's claim to fame was poking a pencil hole in the bottom of a Styrofoam cup, filling it with the requested milk (finger of course over the hole so it wouldn't leak), then handing it to you, removing finger, thus, milk aplenty allover one's pants.

Where was I?

Oh yeah, Edith...   Like on Archie Bunker.  Archie called her a dingbat.  She actually kinda portrayed it well, but wow she had a heart, a good one, and she was the go between for Arch and her SIL Meathead. Why Edith in this particular blog?  Because I'm a dingbat too. S'more soon.

Fore. As in I work at a golf course. Fore is actually in the password for our free WiFi at the course. The heck's it got to do with this blog?  Passwords.  Do you ever forget 'em? I've had spells where I spend 15 minutes trying to log onto something I've logged onto for 15 years, can't, cause I can't remember the dadgum password, so, run to take another blood pressure pill... if that don't work I request a new password.

So, that's Edith Fore.

Edith Fore is the name of the "Help I've fallen and I can't get up" actress in the LifeAlert commercial from 1989. Yeah, 33 years ago.

With EVERYTHING going up in price nowadays, I guess I can sew this altogether, as in, the heck's it got to do with the price of tea in China.

Help I've fallen and I can't remember how to log into my blog.  I really can't remember.  Thought it'd come back to me, hasn't,so, bit bullet, starting checkeninglight! instead. No idea what it'll look like, doing so anyways.

Did I really fall?  I have something called lymphedema.  It ain't fun, but it ain't near as bad as what many folks deal with. Basically my lymph nodes leak, my leg(s) swell up, it makes me tireder, walk slower, kinda feels like one is walking in fresh concrete.  Doc game me a fancified thing to park near buildings, but said no to medical marijuana, darn the luck. Self deprication helps.  In the rare event I win the hole in golf, it's my turn to tee off first. My lifelong buddies, who recognize the rarity of this event, jointly start to announce "NOW ON THE TEEBOX....." and i interrupt them with "Joe Cocker, from Cripple Creek Colorado" because, ya gotta have fun, and I try.

Fallen?  Yes, once, but not because of lymphedema.  I went on a trip, pun mebbe intended, upon arrival at home, set my suitcase down, then took one step to lock the front door. Taking two steps backwards, I forgot the suitcase was only one step behind me, so yes, I fell.  AOK. Nothing twenty or thirty giggles couldn't get me through.  I no longer read the cartoons in the KC Star. Instead, I video tape me putting on my undies every morning.  It's a hoot. I giggle during. Often.

So, life alert, as in I need to get one! Actually life is perty darn good.

Aside from laughing at myself doing stuff like that, I like to think I'm funny when I answer the phone at work when I recognize the name on caller ID. I've pretty much stuck with "Pizza Hut would this be dine in or carry out" followed by a delay, but that's getting boring, so, new ideas are "Wire the money or else"... or... "Go ahead caller, you're one the air"..or "State Farm, this is Jake."

I'm looking for new ways to "get a life."  I've only tried this a couple of times in travel, but (to me) it's kinda fun, When I see a doggy with his head poked out the car window (and I make sure he ain't got enough space to jump out) I'll say "GO GET YOUR BALL"...it's kinda fun to see the expressions on their faces, turn left, right, left, run to the other window, back, pant with confusion.

I am sure I'll forget howintheheck I got on this blog too...  In the meantime,

I'm back, with  Arnold Shwartshoweveryouspellit

By Henry Gibson1

Love, Victurd1

(I think I will make the password EdithFore1....remind me)