That's life...... in song.

 I really don't remember much...... It was dark.  I was comfy.  It's where I learned to be lazy.  The sounds from around were kinda sorta indistinguishable, but I remember hearing a fairly deep voice singing "You're having my baby, what a lovely way of saying how much you love me."....

Again, I really don't remember much..  dark, lazy, completely happy.  Then, parts happened.  I was becoming some kinda being.

"Head and shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes.. head, shoulders knees and toes, knees and toes.. and eyes and ears and mouth and nose.."  This is kinda exciting, I think I thought.  I must have a brain too, I think I thought.

I hear this faint voice.. a girl, I would learn later.. my sister, they'd tell me.. She was only five, but I recall her saying "I'm so tired, tired of waiting for you.. so tired, tired of waiting for you.".... It was rewarding to hear that, seems she really really did love me.. I loved her too. I think, though, she tickled mom's belly 'cause she kinda sorta teased me for many, many a year.  All in good fun.  Yeah, fun.

We headed toward some place called a hospital.  I ain't been to school yet, but little by little I picked up a word here and there... and it must be a good place 'cause I remember the word hospitable.  

Then, I was in this room.  Folks gathered around.  Joy, fear, trepidation. Them's lotsa combined feelings.  I kinda remember thinking "You shake my nerves and you rattle my brain."   Then I started movin.  I've always moved, kicked, punched, maybe bit a time or two with my gums, but I ain't never moved North or South.

Don't be afraid ma'am.  Push, push. I'm down here ready.  "Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket, never let it fade away."......................................................

WOAH!  HERE I GO!  "Slip sliding away...slip sliding away.. you know the nearer your destination the more you're slip sliding away..."

And then...............

I was "BLINDED by the light...  Revved up like a duece (which I later would learn is a reference to the badass 1932 V8 powered Ford).. another runner in the night." Bright lights!

HEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!  WHAT'D YOU SPANK ME FOR?  I DIDN'T DO NUTTIN'!

"I really can't stay... baby it's cold outside."

"Now hold me tight, tell me I'm the only one and then I might, never be the lonely one."  Well honey, of course I will hold you tight, but remember "I'm so tired, tired of waiting"?  You've got a sister and OH she loves you.

"STOP, in the name of love, big girl you break my heart.. think it oh over......."

It was crazy. "But there I was.... I was taken to a place...  Naked to the world, in front of, every kind of girl.  There was long ones, tall ones, short ones, brown ones, black ones, round ones, big ones, crazy ones."

They wound me up in something like what a burrito (I would later learn) looked like.  "Turn out the lights... the party's over."   Rest, I'm finally getting rest.  Dark too, THANK YOU.

Then, in the background, they play this music they tell me they play every time a kid is born.. "Lullaby and good night, with roses bedight. With lillies o'er spread is baby's wee bed. Lay thee down now and rest, may the slumber be blessed."  But then i hear that wonderful deep voice (my pops I'd learn later), teasing me from the get go.. He changed the words.. which, I was kinda thankful 'cause I too would get to sing them some 30+ years later......."Go to sleep...  little creep" Brahms Lullaby, Bud Schultze version.

"They shook my nerves and they rattle my brain.  Goodness gracious great balls of fire."  Well, it's a tad too early to learn about that one.. come back in fitteen or so years and maybe we'll visit.

I finally get out of the burrito costume. Now I'm in a onesie.  YUCK.  Maybe why I love summer so much, gimme shorts, a t shirt and sandals any ole day.  We get to this place called home. "Take me home, country roads" but, in St. Louie proper there really weren't many country roads, but, we arrived.

After a few months of observation, it was deemed I was 'accident prone' whatever that is.  "I get knocked down, but I get up again, you're never gonna keep me down."

We had a sandbox.  MY sandbox. "I says 'hey, you, get off of my cloud..hey, you, get off of my cloud,... hey, you, get off of my cloud... don't hang around 'cause TWO's a crowd on my cloud, baby."  You gotta learn to play with others Victor. OK mom, thanks, and I will, but... I've been drinkin' milk for a loooooooooong time now, anything else on the menu?

Mom, dad, and that girl, my sister.. tried to learn me... "A, B, C.. it's easy as 1, 2, 3.. as simple as Do, re, mi.. A, B, C.. 1, 2, 3.

Kiddygarten? I gotta go?  "We don't need no education..we don't need no thought control... no dark sarcasm in the classroom...hey, teacher.. leave them kids alone."

I CAN'T DO THIS!  "You just hop off the bus, Gus."

HEY, then we started playing a game.. Maybe this ain't so bad.   "Ring around the Rosie.. Pocket full of posies.. ashes, ashes, we all fall down!"  The tricksters!  Twenty-some years later I would learn this was about the bubonic plague in London...the posies were to control the stench from rotting bodies.. and the ashes were about the cremated remains.  Ahhh... YUCK!

Then we sang "Old McDonald had a farm.. Ee I ee Io.. and on this farm he had some cows.. Ee I ee I oh.. with a moo-moo here..."  WAIT!  I remember the dadgum bubonic plague song.. i've been drinking milk for what seems like a decade, PLEASE tell me this ain't gonna be about poison milk is it?

Slowly.. I'm learning.. about life.. trust.. no trust.. Lucy pulling the football away from Charlie.. bubonic plagues.. next thing ya know they'll prolly vaccinate us for sumpin.  "Well I know what's right.. I got just one life.. In a world that keeps on pushin' me around.. but I'll stand my ground.. and I.. won;t back down."

"SCHOOL'S OUT FOR THE SUMMER!"............... 

"I got a beat up glove, a homemade bat..and a brand new pair of shoes..  You know I think it's time to give this game a ride... Just to hit the ball and touch 'em all a moment in the sun.. It's a gone and you can tell that one goodbye.. OH PUT ME IN COACH, I'm ready to play, today.  Put me in coach, I'm ready to play, today.. look at me, I can be, centerfield." (Or pitcher, cather, first base, second, I don't care, just lemme play.)

And then...... 'Well I saw her face.. now I'm a believer."......"Ya got me goin' in circles."..   "She put a spell on me..."..   "Standin' in the sunlight laughing.. hiding 'hind the rainbow's wall.. slipping and sliding.. all along the waterfall with you..  a brown-eye girl.. you.. a brown-eyed girl."

VICTOR!  Stop staring at Susie... you missed that ground ball!   Oh, sorry coach.. I'll never stare at another girl as long as I live..   uh huh....

"Thank heaven for little girls.. for little girls get bigger every day.. .thank heaven, for little girls, they grow up in the most delightful way..  those little eyes so helpless and appealing, when they were flashing, send you crashing through the ceiling.. thank heaven for little girls... without them what would little boys do."

This.  This completes the first ten, maybe fitteen years of my life.  Thanks for riding with me thus far.  "Low rider don't use no gas now. (Important nowadays). Low rider don't drive to fast.  Take a little trip, take a little trip, take a little trip and see... take a little trip.. take a little trip, take a little trip with me."

Tune in tomorrow.. or next Friday.. or whenever in the hell I get around to completing my life story in song.

Of course, lightbulb, women. I've found women.  What on Earth could go wrong?

"Follow the yellow brick road..  follow the yellow brick road."

"I said that's life.. (That's life).. And as funny as it may seem, some people get their kicks, stomping on a dream, but I don't let it, let it get me down.. cause this fine old world, it keeps spinnin' around.. 

I've been a teacher, a coach, a suitcase slinger, a wanna be writer.. a pawn, but never a king.. I've been up and down and over and out, and I know one thing.. Each time I find myself, flat on my face, I pick myself up and bet back in the race.....

That's life.

By Henry Hallmark Gibson          Foreward by Ole' Blue Eyes.

Love, Victurd