Stolen, plagiarized, ie, a 'recipe' with 'ingredients' changed a tad!
Connie Eble taught English at the University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill in the 80's. She kept an index card file to put 'catchphrases' from her students over the years. The new entry in 1983 was from an unnamed female student - she was apparently inspired by someone who had flunked a test - "That shit happens", thus, the index card bearing "Shit happens" would become the first recorded use of the phrase according to 2006's Yale Book of Quotations.
Turns out, the 80's were big for deductive quotes about life. For example, 1982 "Life's a bitch and then you die".... "Been there, done that" (1983).. "Size doesn't matter" (1989 - and HEY, I just copied from the article don't call me a pig!)
Most of us thought ole Forrest Gump himself invented the "S happens" phrase... Remember? He was at the height of his popularity (everything he'd touched had turned to gold).. , running across America... a man in the bumper sticker business bugged Forrest for a new slogan... just then Forrest steps in a pile of feces.. .Bumper sticker guy says "Man you just ran through a big pile of dog shit!" To which, Mr. Gump replied "It happens." "What? Shit?" "Sometimes."
So Victor I'm lost.. you haven't touched "electrical tape" yet... this blog is like a football that's four pieces of leather, not sewn or laced together. Calm down, we'll get there.
Electrical tape. Next best thing to duct tape. Can use it for much. As poor kids in the 50's and 60's, they hadn't invented aluminum bats for us to play baseball - so, we all used wooden bats. Oft times, we only had one and it was shared by all who played. Well, Katy bar the door (and the batter's box) if one of the wooden bats ever broke - which happened, all - the - time. One or two wooden screws and electrical tape, our problems are solved, Jimmy get in the batter's box.
Life, even for Forrest Gump, never turns out as planned. Doesn't mean it can't be wonderful. (You can even have your cake and eat shrimp too)... It's just that, close your ears, it's bound to happen.. What is bound to happen? Shit is bound to happen, that's what.
Yesterday I was higher than a kite. No, no, no, no. Not that. I was all keyed up from really really kind, generous folks and their birthday greetings. Boss and gang at work even sang HBD2U to me and bought me TWO Sudoku books. Kite. I was up there. PAYDAY, kite even higher. BURGER Day at the Landing, my favorite joint where my favorite buds hang. The kite of emotion was higher and higher. Drove to the bank, the weekly "Hello Victor, how are you?" (And I love that. Customer service with a smile.) I was listening to AM radio, the overhang at the bank caused poor reception so I turned it off and then shut the car down because sometimes it just takes a while as they wait on multiple customers.
"Thank you Victor, have a good day." "You TOO!".. And then, checkenginelight. Car. Would. Not. Start. Shit. As in, Shit happens. 47 tries later I deducted it wasn't getting any gas. Sounds like fuel pump. Cha-ching. It's probably located in the fuel tank. Cha-ching. I'm here. (Bank by Piggly Wiggly). Best mechanic in town here (less than a mile away, tow, cha-ching.)
It's with a bit or irony, one of my favorite Birthday greetings was from a gal I went to HS with. It said "Vic, it REALLY is time to check your engine light!!! It's been 70 years!!!! Happy Birthday!!!!!
Yep, it happens. I'm still not getting the Paul Harvey, electrical tape crap Victor - but I will say, what a crappy thing to happen on your Birthday. OH NO, it was cool. Within 45 minutes, I was towed from the Bank to the mechanic. Another 15 minutes, a golfing buddy had picked me up to take me home. Eh, no Landing Burger, a beer or two with buddies, but that's ok. LO AND BEHOLD, my 'Uber' buddy who gave me a ride, musta felt sorry for me (it's all good... shit happens) and he showed up at my door a couple hours later with a twelve pack (not 6... TWELVE) of Modelo Negra beer. Heaven. Right here. On Earth.
It was a GREAT Birthday.
I'm still confused. What's electric tape have to do with your Birthday and your car breaking down?
A lot. And a lot about life in general too. Years ago I bought an old clunker (surprise surprise), a huge ole Mercury. It was 20 years old. Guy that I bought it from had bought it new. He was well into his 80's now. Apparently, the check engine light (as many do) was on non-stop with this car, yet, still, it was in wonderful driving condition.
Thus..........
He kept a piece of electrical tape over it so it wouldn't, sorry, kinda, bug the shit out of him.
Life is truly wonderful. Shit is gonna happen. Do we let the 'glare' from life's Check Engine Light bug the crap out of us? Whittle our fingernails down? Get even deeper wrinkles worrying about everything? Have a coronary?
Recently, as our HS class's 50th reunion was upcoming, I went thru old Tribunes (our town newspaper) to go back in the day - and I posted stuff on our class website about plays, sports, debate, band, vocal, 4H, Boy Scouts, you name it - as well as an occasional "Sophomore year, 2nd quarter Honor Roll"... "Junior year, 1st quarter Honor Roll." I scrolled thru each and every one. I never ever saw my name on the Honor Roll.
ie = I ain't that smart.
Thankfully though, life has taught me shit is gonna happen. 'Put a couple of wooden screws in it', use a little electrical tape to dampen the glare - and party on Garth.
Paul Harvey, Good day.
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