Annually they gather. They either fly into the Pittsburgh Airport, rent a car and drive the remaining 79 miles - or, they come via Buses, Trains, Automobiles, or a combination therein.
Who Dey? Dey is broadcasters, sport's analysts, editors, sports show hosts, sideline reporters, podcasters, Vegas bookies, et. al., from the likes of CBS, FOX, NBC, ESPN, ESPN2, ESPN+, ESPNSHRIMP, BALLYS, FANDUEL, BLEACHER REPORT, SI, 247SPORTS, THE ATHLETIC, YAHOO, and probably YIPPEE.
Why dey?
Did you like, just get here?
Ever since Lamar Hunt organized the 'Foolish Club', started the AFL, challenged the big, bad, mighty Bronko Nagurski, Dick Butkus, THE NFL, complete with bad, bad, Jimmy Brown - and in 1967, the NFL FINALLY accepted - a ceremony has been held, the infamous groundhog Punxsutawney Phil, comes out of his hole and usually faces the direction of the City he predicts to win the Super Bowl.
For instance, in 1967, within seconds, he came out, immediately faced NW (toward Green Bay), accurately forecasting their win over the SW direction, Kansas City Chiefs.
Occasionally, the wooly booger adds theatrics, like in 1969, he emerged facing NYC, holding a torch, wearing a Men's Warehouse fur coat (over his own fur coat) complete with cigar and sunglasses, with a sign taped to his front, "I guarantee it", accurately (again) forecasting Broadway Joe Namath and the Jets over the Colts.
Of course, Ole Punx has been wrong a few times. Some claim he's a genuine smartass, misses on purpose, then retires to his hole laughing his ass off, only to smoke cigs and drink Yuengling for six straight weeks.
Last year when he appeared to the media throng, there was a Ram's hat and a Bengal's hat in front of him. He initially picked the Bengal's hat, drawing cheers from the sport's crew of WKRP Cincinnati - but - he put it down, grabbed the Ram's hat and retired to his hole. Both CNN and FOX happened to be at City Hall in Cincy and they each recorded the Mayor's irate reaction, "That's bulls*it, we'll make the Rams our bit*hes." In spite of initial dogooder Cincy fury, he was shortly after voted in for a second term.
TODAY.
DRUM ROLL.
Don't do that, scares him, he won't come out.
When he did finally come out, he was wearing Donna Kelce-like half red (#87) half green (#62) jersey, he'd face KC, do a 180, face Philly, another 180, pause, and another, pause, etc, until he went back into his hole.
Soon after, he appeared wearing a Chief's #37 jersey, ran down to a pond, lowered his head in prayer in honor of Joe Delaney, then back to his hole. The next time he came out he had on a Chief's #58 jersey and he was carrying 7 sacks. Turns out, they were full of food, he ran to a nearby orphanage, dropped them off and again returned to his hole.
Reporters were drawing impatient. We think, but we're not 100% sure it was Jime Rome who said "I make too much money to stand here all day by a rodent hole."
Again Phil emerged. He was big. We ain't sure if it was stuffing, or, that he'd had a second helping of grubs. He had on a Donna Kelce-like shirt, no numbers, front half green, back half red. He had a mustache over his already wooly lip, wearing wire rim glasses, carrying a clipboard. Once again, he started doing 180's in the diection of KC, then Philly, then KC, etc,. etc. Then, gone in a flash as fast as a big man could flash - back in his hole.
Impatient sports guys impatienter by now. We think, but we're not 100% sure it was Joe Buck who said "One more trick like that, I'm outta here." We think Phil mighta heard it 'cause he stayed down there long enough to smoke couple cigs and have a Yuengling.
When he finally did come out, he was wearing a Chief's #15 jersey, wearing a headband and afuzzy toupee over his already wooly head. Lo and behold another 'Phil' emerged (we suspect it was his brother Finley) and the second 'Phil' had on a State Farm shirt, yeah, like Jake. The Mahomey-like Phil, in spite of limped grimace, tried every State Farm trick he'd tried in the commercials to impress 'Jake-Finley'.
'Jake', in spite of being amazed by Patrick's courage, finally stopped him and said "Patrick, you don't have to do all that to beat the Eagles."
WHAT? A GROUNDHOG TALKED?
Phil-Patrick limped toward his hole, remarking, "Yeah, what he said, Chiefs 34-17."
Love, Victurd
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