Tail wag.... approach from behind... buttsniff.... "Hi, I'm Charley."
(Editor's note... Why do dogs sniff each other's butts? "When one dog greets another with a nose in the derriere, (they're) basically getting a brief biography of (their) new friend, written in scent molecules and pheromones," according to an article by Mental Floss. Two pouches — known as anal sacs — produce these scents, which provide information to other dogs about everything from your pet's health and reproductive status, happiness, gender, owner and diet, the article said.)
Charley gets a reciprocal sniff... 'Sup Charley, I'm Rosy. Do you get to come here (the dog park) often? Are you firing on me Rosy? That's like what a human might say? Ohh, no, nooo.. I was just making Chihuahua-talk..I can tell you're 'High rent', me, I live in a 2nd floor apartment, I rarely get to come here, you?
Well, yes, I do have a big-ass fenced backyard, but don't assume money makes life Gravy Train Rosy. Oh I can run and run in my backyard...there's lab named Susie that lives next door, but (or butt, pun intended) a wooden fence separates us, thus, no buttsniffing. I hearya Charley. There is a Rot that lives on the 3rd, butt we only see each other in passing.. I don't think he's had much education though, in fact, every time he sees me he slobbers horribly, and worse, he sticks his little dinger out. Wow, that is crude Rosy.
You know what I find goofy Rosy? Dogmatch.com (coming here to the dog park), is sooooo easy compared to what my master Vinny goes thru. Yeah, how's that? Well, he's divorced. He's got tons of money so it should be easy for him, meeting chicks, but it's arduous. He spends all kindsa money on dating sites like OKCupid, eharmony, Tinder, then he spends hours and hours online, flirting, chainsmoking, until finally he gets the courage to meet someone. And he hasn't found one he likes, wants to...oh, 'you know'...
Yeah, 'I know', and nope. He goes to meet 'em in Overland Park, Belton, Smithville, yada... And what happens? Well, he always comes home dejected, pets me on the head and says something like "I just dropped a hunnerd bucks on a stupid meal and I'll never see her again. I wish I was a dog like you Charley." Dang..a hunnerd bucks would buy a lotta Purina Dog Chews.
You're telling me Rosy. One time Vinny took me with him - we drove all the way to Joplin..met at a park..gal brought her Chow, we sniffed, no interest, they idle chit chatted for what seemed like forever..then he told me to jump in the truck, "time to go home," he never ever even sniffed her butt!
What a waste of time that musta been, here (dogmatch.com) it's eassy. Yep, here, we just run up, sniff (no, hours online, long drives, expensive meals), we just buttsniff, can tell a lot right away..if it's not a 'fur sure'... NOPE, we just run-on and go sniff another.
Yup. Hey Charley, nuttin personal butt when I sniffed I could tell you'd had some plumbing done. Did you get to have any pups? Yeah, thanks for asking Rosy, I did, two litters (different puppy mamas)..7 boys, 8 girls. Then, and I wouldn't talk to Vinny for like 6 months...he grabbed my leash.. I assumed we were coming here, or Joplin, PetSmart...nope, to the dam vet, snip snip. You have more than one litter? Nuttin' personal either but I could tell from your boobies hangin' a bit you were a mom.
Charley I should kick your ever lovin' butt for saying that, and yes, one litter, three girls...'Benny' never even came to see 'em after our night of fun... Charley, can you take a joke? Sure. Life's fun, funny, I can handle it.
Ah, nevermind, it was stupid anyways. Maybe some day we could meet up for a Bud Light? Sure. I never understood all the hullabaloo about that anyways. Me neither - hey, gotta go, Vinny's hollerin', it's been nice sniffin'. Yep, same here. Hey Charley don't forget your tennis ball!
Arf arf, dilly dilly,
Love, Victurd
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