Come and listen to a story about a man named.........Red?

I suck at golf.....

Oh Victor, this is your normal, self depricating self... You WORK at a golf course, you can't suck at it.

Thanks, but I suck at golf.

There are four of us.  We've pretty much known each other since before JFK was in office. Damn Victor, you ARE old. Yes, bite me, and I/we are blessed. We play golf, in good weather, pretty much every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.

We gamble. VICTOR! Don't you know the Law, Cops, Deputies, authorities from  Liberty, Kearney, Clay County, Missouri, maybe even Manhattan District Attorney Alvin Bragg are listening, reading? FOR SURE, Facebook, Meta and Zuck will see!

About that. We bet a dollar. My partner and I bet a dollar against the other two guys, then, (we'll call him 'Red'), then, Red and I bet a dollar head to head.

I'm more worried about my buddies being upset by me posting this on Facebook, albeit anonymously. You see, their opine of Facebook is "Now the WORLD will know! Faceboook is poopy, for gossips... has HSV (herpes simplex virus), I/WE WANT NO PART OF IT!"

 Relax fellas. Yes, there are in fact instances of TMI (color me guilty), dirty laundry (I probanly did that too.) Sure, Facebook has all that, plus "Trump sucks"/"NO, Brandon does!"... and "Bill Self cheats!"/"HA! We live rent free in your head - show us your National Championship trophies!"...

But...

But too... there is fun on Facebook. Grandkid pics, funny jokes, videos of people falling down, amazing dog tricks and cats demonstrating "we don't care."

So, they, he ('Red') are likely to be upset with me.  Eh, oh well.

Victor. Seriously, are you really bad at golf?

Well, I'll let you decide. First hole, our course. A row of ten or so two-story houses on the left, and a large pond running the length on the right. Many folks have hit the houses (me too) but as far as I know I am the only person to ever hit one OVER the houses. (It's OK, kids were in school, I waited a bit for ambulance sirens, didn't hear none, played on. I've hit hundred$ of dollars of balls into the pond.

Party on Garth, I mean tell us more about how you suck Victor...

I've had lessons in Liberty, Kearney, Orlando (twice). I've fallen asleep after watching literally hours of youtube instruction videos ( in my defense, even though it's English, hard to understand those Brits.)

I've swung and missed, MANY times. I've dribbled balls a few inches, feet, yards, in vitually every possible angle, right AND left. It got so bad my buddies said "let's make 6 the maximum score on a hole." Then, sometime later, 5.

Wow, you really do suck. Uh huh.

Red beats me like a drum, with regularity. I think I beat him once in July last year, and once in April the year before. Victor? Yep? Ain't it kinda dumb to continue to bet him? Sure. I've made him break a twenty dollar billl many times..paid him with 4 quarters a few times, and even a couple rolls of pennies once.

BUT...

But, on the rare occasion I do win (see pic below) it is SO fun! I tease, tell him he sucks, and now, I tell the World, cops, the FBI and Alvin Bragg.

Editor's note. I love these guys and I think the same is felt across the board. We have more fun than should be legal. We have a couple beers after.. discuss events from 50, 60 years ago.. sports, '57 Chevys (yes, old Ford Mustangs too), old girlfriends, ex'es, glory days, hip and knee replacements, cataracts, and whether derriere has 3, or 4 R's. (ty spellcheck). Without them saying "Damn, you walk just like Joe Cocker" they help me down muddy hills, go into the forest to retrieve my errant shots, get the ball outta the cup, and even pick me up at the door when it's time to go home. Blessed I am.

Go Big Red. Don't shoot me for this, and please continue to let me win once a year of so...

Love, Victurd