I've decided to enter the transfer portal.....

Ahm, Victor. College took you six years the first time. You will be facing questions like Joe is gonna..."Ya sure you're gonna be here that long?"

Bite me question asker.... run along now.. I've cheesy fries to eat... Snapchats to snap back at... Netflix to binge until August 'when I report'... and besides, I can't hear Ariana's 'No Tears Left To Cry' with all your babbling... OK Victor, but you're gonna get all that gooey cheese crap on your new Thrasher hoodie.. GO! NOW!

Victor? Yes, damnit? Are you like mad at Liberty? I can't fathom you still playing a sport - but did they like change coaches on you? Not enough playing time? LOL! (Sorry!... kinda!)

Jane, you ignorant slut.. didn't you read my Twitter?  

"I've decided to enter the transfer portal.  I'd like to thank my coaches, (background giggles) especially the ones who always brought beer coolers to the Sunday night softball league for the past 40 years... the 5 or 6 fans who always came.... the 3 blog readers here.. Please, don't let all these purple spots foolya, I bleed Liberty Bluejay blue, always have, always will. I'm tired. Tired of being old. Blessed I know, but time to roll on. I'm thinking about a college near a beach...and I know I'll have to face my disgust for sand in my buttcrack head on, but oh well, ya gotta do what ya gotta do. #hashbrown, hashish, hashtag, however they say it."

First thing I'm gonna do is grow the FRONT of my hair out, it's 'the thing' now. I know I'm blessed to still have a pretty good growth of hair, and I thank dad for that, as 'baldness skips a generation.' If I grow the front out I can hide a lotta wrinkles. I'll get me a backpack, no idea what I'll put in it, buy me some 'Chucks', seems to be the thing again.

Where will you go? What will you study? HOW will you pay?

One question at a time there Clark, I thought you were a 'mild mannered reporter'.... I've narrowed the list to two:

University of California, San Diego. North Campus, near La Jolla. Gonna try to get me some NIL money from interning at Torrey Pines (I have clubhouse attendant experience)... 'Tween studies I'll hangout at Black's Beach, it's where the UCSD surf team goes, oh, and coeds go watch them. I understand there is a nude beach there but I would NEVER....(Lightbulb: Binoculars, that's what I'll put in my backpack.) I wonder if they have a Sigma Nu chapter there?

Or................

University of the Virgin Islands, St. Thomas campus. Unlike Johnny Cash (he's been everywhere: Boston, Charleston, Dayton, Louisiana, Wasington, Houton, Kingston, Texarkana, Monterey, Faraday, Santa Fe, Tallapoosa, Glen Rock, Black Rock,  Little Rock,Grand Lake, Devils Lake, Crater Lake, for Pete's sake... and prolly St. Thomas too..) Unlike Johnny, I ain't. Oh, I've been to Claycomo, Pleasant Valley, Eureka Springs once, and Branson when I was a kid, but...I HAVE BEEN TO ST. THOMAS, and it's breathtaking... Snorkle (another idea for backpack.)

Gotta hand it to you Victor, great choices. Thanks. What will you study?  Well, I've butchered English since that very first word in 1954 (dad-da insteada daddy), so that.

And how will you pay? Well, even though I lean to being a Democrat, I don't agree with those who lean for that forgiveness crap.  I'd take out a 30 year note... then they could just mail me the bill...But? But, how will they find you?

To everything urn, urn, urn..there is a season urn, urn, urn, And a time to every purpose under Heaven (I hope, someday)

Bye. Gotta go study me some texting abbreviations, Google "what is Blu-ray?".. then, run to the Thrift Stores and gitme some Tie-Dye shirts and baggy pants. Chicks dig 'em,

Here I come sandy beach! (Boom. A bidet, that'd fit in my backpack wouldn't it?)

Love, Victurd