Crickets...

Working on third cup of coffee.. Wordle in the rear view mirror (5, damnit)... Hopes of an idea for a blog to pop in my head, fruitless, ie, crickets. (Good Victor, your last blog really sucked... I think like five people read it. Oh, and I've seen you golf. Ahm, my thoughts you should maybe trade your keyboard AND your golf clubs and like, maybe give bowling a try?)

Ahm, ok.

Again..... Crickets...

That's it!  I'll write about crickets!

Ya ever get bored and turn to Wiki to read/learn more about something? Uh huh, me too.

The males crickets are the only ones that chirp. WHAT? I would write "I would have guessed that to be the other way around because..well, you know" but I won't because that may run off the lone remaining female blog reader here.  Oops.

Yes, they chirp to attract females for...well, you know. Crickets are mainly nocturnal, right?  I mean like, when's the last time you took a first date to breakfast? Or church?

Wiki say "The calling song attracts females and repels other males, and is fairly loud. The courting song is used when a female cricket is near and encourages her to mate with the caller. A triumphal song is produced for a brief period after a successful mating and may reinforce the mating bond to encourage the female to lay some eggs rather than find another male.". Ahm, ok.  I wonder if the triumphal song sounds anything like Tarzan?

Crickets and temperature. VICTOR! You were on the right path (mating) and NOW you wanna switch to temperature? Aren't you aware most blog readers are closet perverts?  Oops, sorry.

Real quick on temperature then we'll get back to the good stuff. Wiki says, so it must be true, if you count the number of chirps a cricket makes in 14 seconds, then, add 40 to that and you will correctly compute the Fahrenheit temperature.  Right you are, mating more exciting.

Females are generally attracted to males by their calls... You know, maybe something cheesy like "If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put 'U' and 'I' together," or,  "Are you a parking ticket because you've got FINE written allover you."

Then, 'nature' happens. Starts with the antennas touching. Then, the female mounts the male (VICTOR!...ahm, ok, but just a bit more.) This 'merger' may last up to an hour. Good Gosh Gerty! Lucky crickets!

"A triumphal song is produced for a brief period after a successful mating", there goes Tarzan on that vine again, but gosh, AN HOUR? Can you blame him?

"The female may mate on several occasions with different males." I knew it was too good to be true...well, at least for Jiminy. Grass clipping must be greener on the other side.

OK, enough about cricket sex, tell us other boring stuff.

OK. In Brazil, a cricket is perceived to announce death, thus, they scour the room to find, smash the chirper.  In Barbados, a loud cricket means money is coming, thus, he must not be killed but rather given a seat in the easy chair, handed a Miller Lite with the TV turned to The NFL Network. Gee, did you know anyone can add stuff in Wiki? Twue...reawy reawy twue.

China, considered good luck. Kept as pets in a hollowed out gourd.  In Southern Asia they're deep fried and eaten as snacks.... Crickets <- my thoughts on that one.

In Thailand, there are 20,000 farmers rearing crickets for 'cricket flour' which is used in pet food, livestock feed, and...drum roll .. protein bars. Eww.

Of course Buddy Holly"s band was known as 'The Crickets', and in the 1990's his hometown honored Holly by naming their baseball team the Lubbock Crickets.

I be po', my cell contract is with el cheapo provider Cricket.  Cricket, the bat and ball game, is exceedingly popular in The British Empire, played by two teams with wickets and I gots zilch desire to ever watch a game.

Other than that ....  Crickets.

One hour?  Really?

Jiminy Crickets! Good gosh Gerty!,

Love, Victurd