Onomatopoeia

Wow Victor, you're really smart.

To the contrary, I was thinking of things I (maybe) learned in school that are actually of little use today, onomatopoeia crossed my brain and I had to look the damn thing up because I couldn't remember.

"Is the use or creation of a word that phonetically imitates, resembles, or suggests the sound that it describes. Such a word itself is also called an onomatopoeia. Common onomatopoeias include animal noises such as oink, meow (or miaow), roar, and chirp."

Old McDonald is smart, not me.  He plows, plants, tends, harvests onomatopoeia all the time. A moo moo here. A cluck cluck there. Here an oink, there an oink, everywhere an oink oink.

They never formally published the second verse, but .Mac had hella critters. A bark bark here, a baa baa there. He was a beekeeper too, here a buzz, there a buzz, everywhere a buzz buzz 

Mac enjoyed his moonshine, hid it behind pots and pans so Mrs Mac didn't know 

With a clang clang here, and a chug chug there, here a burp, there a burp, everywhere a burp, he really really would have to (onomato)PEE'A.

So, he'd zoom zoom the John Deere to the back forty, jump off (a groan groan here and a groan groan there), was a tad worried he might actually have to go #2, he ripped one here then he ripped one there, here a burp, there a burp, everywhere a burp burp.  False alarm, just had to (onomato)PEE'A.

Rumbled over by the fence (rumble rumble here, rumble rumble there), barely got his overalls unzipped in time, here a zip, there a zip, everywhere a zip zip (OUCH!).

He sniffed the fresh air (here a sniff, there a sniff), started to splatter, here a splat, there a splat, watch out for your boot, splat splat. Old McDonald held it with his arm, E I E I gotta go!

With a spray spray here, a windy gust there, here a patter there a patter, it stopped, what's the matta E I E Incontinence.

He hiccuped here, wind blew the spray, splatter in his face, a cough cough here, he flinched backward, banged his head on the tractor exhaust pipe, a bang bang here, a bang bang there, another hiccup here, hiccup there, accidentally honked the horn. a honk honk here, a honk honk there...

At least it flowed, here a flow there a flow, more wind, everywhere a flow flow E I E I gotta go.

His spray wasa gettin too close to the fence, bird tried to warn him, with a chirp chirp here and a chirp chirp there. . The snake too, herea hiss, there a hiss, watch your aim, miss the fence, miss miss.

Too late. The very next fizz fizz, here a fizz, there a whizz, wind blowingm, everywhere a whizz whizz, E I E I OUCH, he zapped the electric fence, here a zap, there a zap...

With a moan moan here, a groan groan there, here a shriek there a shriek...he tumbled backwards, here a tumble there a tumble.

A last few snorts, here a snort there a snort, a bit fainter snort snort. Barn door still open, body now stiff, here a stiff, there a stiff, up and down his body now stiff stiff.

Old McDonald died right there with it still in his arm. With a croak croak here, rigomortius there, here a rig, there a rig, just beneath his green rig.   Old McDonald bought the farm, E I E I Oh no!

Mrs McDonald was shocked (different kinda shock than Mr), with a shock shock here and a shock shock there. 

She buried him right there, the John Deere too. With a dig dig here and a dig dig there.

New York is where she'd rather stay, she gets allergic smelling hay. With an achoo here and an achoo there.

Mrs McDonald sold the farm...E I E...ran off with his IRA... With a cha ching here and a cha ching there..made cents to her, a cha ching everywhere. ...

Dah-ling I loved ya but I'm on Park Avenue now ..

By Fred and Arnold Ziffel

Love, Victurd (and yes Nurse Watched, I'm crazy!)