Usedta be........

Door Dash usedta be 'Ding-dong-ditching' where you got up the courage, rang ole lady McIver's doorbell and ran.  Now, you getta Big Mac, large fries and a Coke for $23 with a 5 dolla tip, fries are cold and the ice has melted. 

Usedta could swing by The Robo Wash/Gas Station, hand 'em 3 bucks for enough petrol to make 72 weekend runs from The Ku Ku to the High School, to The Square, by William Jewell (and back), andya still hada dollar left over for burger fries pop.  Now, poor kids, $3.79 a gallon at the QT, after driving five days, to fro town to Liberty North (way out yonder by the paw paw patch) there ain't no way to have money left over to buy your honey a $5.29 Peanut Buster Parfait at the DQ.

Usedta have party lines, shared frustration of "it's my turn damnit."  A bit later, phones usedta be kinda like the Cheers theme song... "Where everybody knows your (number), and they're always glad you (called.)" Conversations were had on the phone. Long ones.  "Mom, I needta call Charlie, she (sister) won't get off the phone."  Today, what the hell is a phone book, nobody knows more than two phone numbers and 'Talk?, are you crazy, I'm gonna text until I get blisters on my two thumbs.  Usedta be impressed by how fast Nemo could run from first to third base, now, today's physical fitness test involves becoming the world's fastest thumb texter.

There is, is, good.  Usedta be kids that call other people's parents "Hi Mr. so-and-so" and "How are you Mrs. so-and-so" and contrary to the prevailing belief "Kids nowadays don't wanna work, they want things, but don't wanna do anything to get them".  Disagree. There are remarkable kids out there who still treat adults with respect, tons of 'em, the vast majority.  Handmedowns ain't just older brother's Levis, they're thankfully manners, politeness and true caring.

That lady, she usedta be an Inlaw, now she's an Outlaw, but said lovingly. Love has a way of high hurdling divorce.

Town usedta be so small, hadta beg kids to come out so there we enough bodies to have 11 football players on offense, 11 on defense, "Scooter, Charlie and Jimmy, you're gonna have to go both ways.".  Now, "Hey, Liberty's got great schools, let's move there", and, thankfully that's true...  but it also means hella growth, now there's a "Gold Team" (varsity, baby you better work at it year round), "Silver Team" (almosts), "Bronze Team" (JV).. "Iron Team" ("you'll never make it past Bronze, but hey, thanks for coming out.") etc, etc, for EVERY grade level.

Usedta  would get an assignment, go to library, find the right drawer to find the right Dewey decimal number from the 3 by 5 cards, the corresponding section where the book will hopefully be if it's been replaced in the correct place, check it out, take it home, but first, swing by the Piggly Wiggly to go up and down the aisles for mom, grabbing the things from the list she made up.. fork over fitty cents at the car wash, RUN fast to wash, rinse so the frozen goodies from the Piggly don't thaw (and so ya didn't have to waste another quarter).. drive home, carry in the groceries, study, take the test in a few days, then, sit at home the following weekend 'cause ya forgot to take the book back to the library and you owe 33 cents late fees.

Now, ya Google, find the junk ya gotta study for, order the veggies, meat and frozen goodies online, swing by the HyVee and grab 'em, take your pick among the sixteen drive thru car washes in town, get home, study and ya still got time for three hours of Netfix and Chill. (I know you're too young for that, but you know what I mean.)

Beer bellies usedta be flat bellies. Looking positively, crums no longer hit the floor.  Walks usedta be jogs, which usedta be sprints. A little dab of Brylcreem usedta do ya, now, combover works.  Ranch has always been a dressing, but too, "Honey, we gotta move, I can't do these stairs any more." Ranch it is.

Remember when we thought "Old people always complain"?  Well, reckon that ain't changed much.  Remember when we listened to Johnny Dolan, WHB, we'd hum, dance...sing the lyrics.. drive our siblings crazy?  Now, all we gotta do is get up outta bed, or the easy chair..wobble a bit, and it don't take no music to make all kindsa interesting, unplanned verbal noises.

Remember when we thought grandparents were old, they never eva' had been young, could never eva run, jump, hop, sprint?  Uh huh, welcome to retirement.  Remember when dad useta go to the drug store to buy TV bulbs, prop a mirror in fronta the 20" TV, climb behind, take off the cover, find he'd bought the wrong bulb, back to Breipohl for the right one, fix it just in time before whatever that thing was was called that came on around midnight and it was on all the channels so you couldn't watch nuttin?

Now, TV shoots craps.  "Honey, WallyWorld has fitty-five inchers on sale for $198, wanna ride wit me?" "Nah, just order it online, it's late, they'll deliver it for free before noon tomorrow."

Things are good, things are bad, just like they usedta be.  Golf balls don't travel near as far, neither do memories.  "Oh yeah, she was in the class of '72", "nope, I think she was (younger/older)"... "I don't even know whointheheck you're talking about, you sure that was her name and that she went to Liberty?"

We usedta nurse way back. Later, lined up for vaccines by a nurse.  Some went to school to be one. Some, married one. Usedta see ole Doc whatshisname, now, it's the Nurse Practitioner. Aches, pains, tummy woes require more nursing now.  We're literally one trip and fall from a Nursing Home. 

Go, do, love, smile, laugh, petya dog, love a grand, spend a grand (or 5) for that trip you always dreamed to take.. call (not text) that one you usedta talk to for hours on the phone. Write a letter.  Save up your Piggly Wiggly points, get El Cheapo gas discount, take a long drive, past all them places you usedta have fun at. Ride a ferris wheel. Have a beer.  An ice cream cone. A funnel cake. Try a push up. Take a nap, whenever ya wanna. Dance. Go hear live music. Eat a pine tree. Get the hell outta Dodge, even if just for a day. Write a blog. Victor, that's the most ridiculous thing you've ever written.

Cemetaries usedta be. Now, it's to everything, urn, urn, urn.

Go do alla that stuff above that we usedta, needta, before.... before...  all we are is dust in the wind.

Love, the 'artist' (said loosely) formally known as (as in usedta be), Victurd