Saturday, November 4, 2023

When push comes to shove.......

The man gets up and goes to the door, where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push. "Not a chance!" says the husband. "It's three o'clock in the morning!" He slams the door and returns to bed. (Eh, we'll finish this in a bit)

Moving.  Sometimes I wakeup, stand to get up, head to the john... "Oh damn, same set of legs as yesterday."  As we age, at least for this person, it gets a bit harder and harder to move.
It is said, "If you don't move, you die." No, this is not where I go join the gym (I'm already a member, drive past it most days).. get ridda my fat, start jogging, work my way up from a single lap.. to a mile.. to a 5K (What the hell is a kilometer? 5K is 3.1 miles you simpleton Victor).. to a half marathon, to timing my miles, to run in the Piggly Wiggly Marathon, then Boston.  Huh uh.  Bless those of you that do, my main goal in life seems to be seeing how dadgum close I can get the golf cart to the golf ball so I ain't gotta walk.  
To refresh (use Dial soap), no that ain't it.  Guy went to door, 3am, some drunk, raining, asking for a push, NO, slammed door, headed back to bed:       
"Who was that?" asked his wife. "Just some drunk guy asking for a push." he answers. "Did you help him?" she asks.    "No, I did not! It's three in the morning and it's pouring out!" (Eh, we'll finish this in a bit)
Moving. As life whizzes by (<-- is that how you spell 'whiz'?  I Googled 'gee whiz', confirmed, tis.)  As life whizzes by... (brb, gotta take a wiz, happens, a lot as I age, I'm finding anyways.)  I am simply amazed by the number of old farts that are moving, as in Moving Van, different City, State, town, yada. Usedta be 'cross town, 3 story to 2 story to ranch to Golden Acres to yard of bones.  Nuh uh. Old people are moving. I used 'old people' so as not to make people mad.  One told me "Quit calling us old!" I, personally, think it's blessed to be old.  So, I first wrote 'old fart', happy medium, switched to 'old people.'
Rewinding Facebook, buddy moved MO to TX soon after retirement.  Cool. Today, read longtime Cali buddy moving to AZ.  Guy I work with, moving 'back home',  MO to OH. Nudder lady I worked with moved, I think, like 25 miles North.  It's like another Continent, don't see her any more.  I ask a lot (too many) of questions of (older) folks at the golf course where I work. "How'd you get to Missouri?" (after learning they grew up in PA, MI, NY, KY, etc.)  Most, "Following our kids." Some for work, ended up growing roots here.  I've always been proud of 'here', especially when talking to those who've moved here, found they love it, stayed.
To refresh (don't use Dollar Tree Dial soap, get Dove or Aveeno, sumpin like that), no that ain't it.  Guy went to door, 3am, some drunk, raining, asking for a push, NO, slammed door, headed back to bed: Wifey asked who was at door.. "a drunk, needed a push, it's 3am, pouring rain' said no, slammed door." and he plopped in bed.. THEN:      

"Well, you have a short memory." says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him and you should be ashamed of yourself!" (Eh, we'll finish this in a bit)

Back to 'moving'..  I'm too old, don't wanna, eva'. Gotta buddy close in age (and his wifey) they live 6 months KC, 6 months in sunny Mehico, then do it again, and again and again. I get tired going to the fridge for a beer, I cannot fathom doing anything like that. Anudder buddy, he, wifey, get outta Dodge 5 months a year somewhere Sunny. F-250 (bigass truck) 5th wheel.  Not "no's", "Hell to the no's".  High winds, THE PRICE OF GAS, getting gas, having to pee all too often, nomme.  People my age are moving. I'm astounded, proud of them, and I admire them... from my recliner.

To refresh (shower, but don't do shampoo two days in a row, don't needta), no that ain't it.  Guy went to door, 3am, some drunk, raining, asking for a push, NO, slammed door, headed back to bed: Wifey asked who was at door.. "a drunk, needed a push, it's 3am, pouring rain' said no, slammed door." and he plopped in bed.. Wifey got upset, reminded him of when he was in need, "go help him and you should be ashamed of yourself."   (We'll get back to this in a sec, fancy for, I ain't ready for blog to end yet.)

Then, I watch in amazement as friends move 'temporarily', ie, trips to the Dakotas, Destin, the Grand Canyon, the Dominican, across the pond to Ireland, England, Pompei, Venice, Croatia.... even had two buddies jetset to Germany a week ago.. one week+ traveling that Country, then, wakeup early Sunday to see 'em in Frankfort cheering on our Kansas City Chiefs! (Catch the damn ball, wouldya Skyy?  Rashee?  Mecole?  See all these old people moving? All you gotta do is: Catch. The. Damn. Ball.)

To refresh (go buy an RV, or maybe surf Expedia, Travelocity, stay in a VRBO, or mebbe move to South Carolina, I dunno), no that ain't it.  3am, drunk knocking, raining, wanted push, "NO", slammed door, back to bed: Wifey asked who was at door.. "a drunk, needed a push, it's 3am, pouring rain' said no, slammed door." and he plopped in bed.. Wifey got upset, reminded him of when he was in need, "go help him and you should be ashamed of yourself."   Sooooooo.....

The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain.  He calls out into the dark to the drunk, "Hello, are you still there?"  "Yes" comes back the answer.  "Do you still need a push? calls out the husband. "Yes please!" comes the reply from the dark.  "Where are you?" asks the husband.  "Over here, on the swing."

Moving, eh? I so admire those of you that get up and go.  I do some, not enough.  Life is fun, and it's wonderfully stretched across the land as we watch old neighbors, classmates, coworkers, family, travel here, move there, snowbird down there, yada.

Then again, I remember this morning:  Sometimes I wakeup, stand to get up, head to the john... "Oh damn, same set of legs as yesterday."  So.........

I'll be out on the porch swing.  Can you gimme a push?  Hiccup.

Love, Victurd

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