Go to your room........

In the beginning....... I think they call it the nursery. Hi kids. Welcome to life. First things first, we'll put you in a straight jacket so you'll know who's in charge. Order. Rows. Straight lines. BRIGHT LIGHTS.

You ladies, we're gonna makeya look dainty (cute little bright, colorful knit hats, matching booties... ie, life is about shopping)..  Ya fellers, we're gonna address 'change', as it's said "The only time you can change a man is when he's a baby." 

Even though you're laying down, we'll learnya about speaking up for yourself, aka, the squeaky wheel gets the binkie. Noise. There's tons of noise in life. Get used to it, ya hear? 

That's the first, of oh sooo many rooms in one's life.  Whaddaya mean, oh sooo many rooms?  You might regret this, but, you asked for it, you got it, Toyota:

Bed.  Class.  Dining. Great.  Living.  Rest.  Sun. Master. Guest. Fainting. Family.  Rec. Locker. Laundry. Game.  Mud. Bath. Spare. Study. Utility. Play. Multipurpose. Meeting. Conference. Banquet. Sewing. Dressing. Storage. Second. Third. Fourth.  Fifth. (Consider BCP's or a vas' mebbe?)

Yesterday, I think we mentioned Mukesh Ambani's house (the largest in the World). I never could find out exactly how many rooms, but.. garages for 168 cars, More than you wanted to know:  also, an ice cream parlour, a salon, a dance studio, a health spa, a ballroom, a yoga studio, and multiple suites meant to host guests. The mansion also houses 3 Olympic-sized swimming pools. The top six floors of the Ambani’s mansion have been sealed off as their private, residential living space.

Not just that, the Antilla boasts of not one, two, but three rooftop helipads, as well as a 50-seater movie theatre, a Babylon themed hanging gardens, nine elevators, and accommodation for nearly 600 staff members of the property.  

Victor, why did you include all that?  Well... we started this blog with life, as it begins. Kids learning all about it. Then, I had the thought, a great idea if I may say so myself.  (TIME OUT... more about great idea in a sec)

(Swerving).. Nuttin' really (kinda sorta) gets my gourd more than hearing someone say  "Funny Story..." then beginning to relate same.  I, most generally, am a smarta*s and stop them before they start with "You tell it, then we'll decide if it's funny."  Then, second most get my goat, someone putting something online, then adding LOL right after.  WE'LL decide that! You can't laugh at your own 'jokes'!  Right?  LOL. Oops. Back to Mukesh, and his big ole house.

Back to great idea (You tell it Victor, we'll decide if so)...  So........ them kids.  Say Mukesh's rugrats reach the age of walking, talking, kinda understanding.  Say, about 4 or 5.  WHAT BETTER would it be for Mukesh to tell 'em "Hey, go play Hide and Seek"..so, they do, and the game takes 12 years to complete, you getta skip all that junk inbetween (PTA, soccer mom/dad, 3rd grade vocal concerts, years of trick or treating, puberty, zits, car dating, Friday night lights, SAT's)... and, by the time they finish their game of Hide and Seek, they're ready for THE BEST room of all, the DORM room!  Smart man Mukesh, no wunner he got so much money!

In the scrambled egg brain of a blog writer.. the initial thought was to speak about 'rooms' in our lives.. Family..  Work... Social.. Recreation.  Hobby.. The Chiefs have lost 3 of their last 5 games. Wide receiver talent questioned. "We've got a great room (receivers, tight ends) . All the talent we need." Room. Team. Same school of thought. No Elvis Grbak "I can't throw it and catch it too." No John McCay (Football coach), in the press room, when asked, after his team played poorly, lost bad.."How do you feel about the execution of your team?"  "I think that might be a good idea."

Ain't never been on a cruise.  Understand "Inside rooms.. Interior rooms with a view.. Oceanview.. Balcony.. Studio.. Panoramic.. Suite.."  Many different kinds, costs.  "Don't matter.. which one is closest to the clothing optional deck?" VICTOR!!!  Oh come on, save a little room in your brain for R rated humor.

Hotel. Motel. Rooms with a view.  The Elephant in the room. Boiler. Breathing. Panic. Powder. SRO. Smoke filled. War. Wiggle.

Lotta rooms in our lives.

Funny thought Victor. WAIT! You tell it, I'll decide if it's funny.  "You put us in the 'bored' room." Ok, I'll give you that one, fun.

"We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together."  Rodney Dangerfield. 

Back to "Go to your room!"  I was reading on some site, how that ain't necessarily the best thing to do, say nowadays. Aside from the kid prolly having a TV, dvd player, video games, small fridge with Mountain Dew, Red Bull, yada.. the article worried about the possible damage to the child.  Suggesting you're saying "Child, you're the problem!" or "Your feelings don't matter!".. or.. "I only want to be with you if you are calm and pleasant." (S'more)

Article suggested an alternative way to say it...(I think the writer mighta invented 'Participation Trophies")  “Please find a nice spot to take a break, and then we’ll talk about this problem when we’re both calmer.”  Now, I don't feel it necessarily has to be as extreme as "Git yer butt upstairs before I knock you into next week,", but I think "Go to your room" is fine.

I'm out.  Have a really nice day and save room for dessert.

Oh, and stop that!  Get a room!

Love, Victurd