Lifle.......

Life... is kinda like Wordle........

or, mebbe it's vice versa.

Starter word..... It reminds me of when it's post time at a horse race.  Ya hear them trumpets.  Yes, I Googled, learned it's called "Assembly of the Buglers"...

Most of us play this damn game at Ugly-thirty am, so, loud bugles kinda giveya a headache...  Wordle is like a horse race... you're in a hurry to beat, whoever it is you're playing, but, ya ain't on the clock. Haste makes waste.  Horse waste makes it a little trickier to go around the track.

AND THEY'RE OFF!  You've been to every "What is the best starter word to use for Wordle" website suggestion... Heck, maybe lifle, wordle, Horseracel all go together.   Outta the blocks, ya watch them ponies go... one by one they turn over..  Colors. Colors come to mind.

Seeing 5 gray squares.. depression.  That's kinda lifelike, lifle. Strifle.  It's like having to repeat 3rd grade allover again.  You're a foot taller than the others so ya stick out like a sore thumb.

He said, dryly, slyly, shyly, in his crypt.  Looking out, he saw a nymph, a pygmy and another with all kinda cysts.  Yes, those words, if ya take a second peek, ain't gots no vowels.  Sure, sure sure, I'm certain, within the history of the NY Times, there's been a time when the correct Wordle word was onea them, but, really, ya gotta have vowels.

Vowels are 'the cubicle workers' of lifle, Wordle.  Ya can't get much done without 'em.  Roll call, are they all there?  Have ya used 'em?  Old business man Donald had a farm, A E I O U... With an A A here and a E E there, here an A there an E... Roll call. Starter word.  Nope.  Damnit darnit.

So, you musta struckout in Little League too eh?  Had training wheels on your bike until the other neighborhood kids had done gradugated from trike, to bike to mini bike?  There you are in 3rd grade again, looking like Andy Reid looked in that Punt, Pass and Kick contest. A full head taller than the rest.  Sounds impressive, but it ain't. Sore thumb.  No vowels, ya gots to have cubicle workers.

So......... Mr. Sajak, I'd like to buy a vowel.  Ohhhh Vanna?  Vowels (cubicle workers) don't make much, cost much, but, ya GOTS to have 'em.  If ya wanna be happy for the resta your life, ya gotta find the vowels to beat your cousin, former classmate, BFF or your wife.

Atsa baby, ya got a yellow vowel and a green one.  Nice job cubicle workers.  Keep on working.  Toil.  Toil ur life away.  Maybe someday you'll get relocated to a cubicle closer to the restroom, or could be we'll even put you on the Giving committee. (That, is fancy for, you'll prolly have to start taking your Social Security at age 62, 'cause we ain't gonna giveya big raises, you'll need the extra income to pay for that ever rising, inflated apartment rent.) Fast forward to retirement day, oh we'll have a fine, fine, huge cake (color of your choice), punch, streamers, big ole CONGRATS Casey sign, Mylar "Happy Retirement" balloons.. then, after we boot your booty out the door, peek at Indeed or LinkedIn, have your replacement by Tuesday... and repeat the whole balla cubicle, vowel wax, allover again. Nice job, thanks again Casey, cubicle worker, (vowel) for your hard work!

Consonants.  These are the permanent teeth in life... The ones oft time common in folk's mouths.. Incisors, Canines and Molars.  That would be R, S, T, N, L, C, D, H, K, etc'  Usually, ya can't chew through Wordle, lifle, without 'em.  Common. Like Chickenman, "they're everywhere they're everywhere!"

So, at this point of your lifle, you gots one green vowel, a yeller one (all the remaining cubicle vowels have done been used, so this it what ya got to work with), and, one yeller consonant.  You study and you study (Kinda like college.. or maybe that trade school final ya must pass to get certification, big pay, beat your cousin, former classmate, BFF or wife.)

Marriage. Lifle. Wordle.  You know, you put two together in your brain. C and H can be a good marriage. CHECK, PERCH, CHALK, CHAIN, yada. LD might stay married.  COULD, WOULD, BUILD, FIELD, that.  You can try 'em (that's called Dating), most times it don't work. Conservative, Liberal, poor communication, differences in priorities, lack of intimacy. Ahem. OK then.

So, if that don't work, ya might consider a cubicle worker and a manager together. HUH?  Yeah, sorry.. I mean, a vowel and a consonant. ER is a popular one. ED is another, but that's kinda depressing as it hints back to lack of intimacy. TA, OP, MA, UN... stuff like that.

Lifle, aka Wordle, can be hard.  You done guessed thrice (Finally gradugated from 3rd grade, got your driver's license, tassel or GED, finally got outta mom and dad's basement where you playied video games. You're reached a point in life (one green consonant, one green vowel and a yeller vowel) where frustration sets in.

Ready for guess #4. Blood pressure has risen.  You stare and stare. Nothing jumps out at you. You wonder if you must be forced to try some of the weirdos in life (Q, Z, X, F, Y, yada). You're now 37 years old.  Seven of your friends already done finished Wordle long ago, been promoted twice at work, vacation in Cancun annually, gotta quarter Mil in their 401K's, and coach Slugger's Little League Team.  Ya run into 'em in the Piggly Wiggly, they say "Hey, howya doin? (they don't say your name because "who really knows all the people in the cubicle?".. they continue  "You still 'working at ___' ?  Which, is fancy for, you're still working on your 4th guess aint'ya?

Yes.  YES I AM.  Damnit darnit. Retirement is 28 long years away, you wanna put more away for retirement, but, ya just took out a second mortgage on your home 'cause your 22 year old Tempo bit the dust, Sonny got braces and Susie ain't found work since ABC Supply went belly up. Fourth guess, not much help.  Gulp.

Dare you go to the casino for an all or nothing 5th guess?  Drop twenty into that one slot and pray for 5 of (the right) kind to pop up? You do....... you close your eyes.  You try, try, try to envision YES, YES, YES, I DID IT MOM, ER, I MEAN HONEY! I'm ready for my bat flip.. I been practicin' my end zone dance.. DON'T YOU KNOW WHO I AM?

The wheels stop spinning.  You slowly open one eye.  Nope, that ain't it. You forget you had eye surgery and opened the long distance eye, so, ya switch for closer inspection.

_OUND.  Damnit darnit, four in the correct place, needsme that first letter.  If I think of all the possibilities (FOUND, WOUND, POUND, HOUND, ROUND, MOUND) I'm bound to get it right! You're now 58, you done managed to pay off the second and you're starting to dump more into the $12,682 IRA.  All your children are finally outta your house (well, ceptin' B, she's in an on again off again marriage, spends two or three months a year in the 2nd bedroom with little Ethan. Ethan eats a lot, is pretty loud, always needs a diaper change when B is at work, and, he enjoys writing on walls with his magic marker.)

Where was I? Oh yeah, at the casino. _OUND. Gots one guess left. ROUND is probably THE most common possibility, but then again, you're a Chief's fan. Andy Reid keeps 'em guessing and rarely runs the play folks think.. remember Rose Bowl Right? The Ring Around The Rosey Huddle?  The Lefthanded Pass?  FUN, those are all fun!

It's GOTTA be HOUND.  HOUND is FUN! Hound for the WIN. I can just hear age 65 a happenin'. I'll Spotify Johnny Paycheck's 'Take This Job and Shove It', have it ready to play moments before I walk out the door for the last time.  I'm putting Bengay on my left hip now so my swivel-hip end zone dance goes withouta hitch!  HONEY, I'm gonna retire!  Throw that damn alarm clock in the trash! Dial up some Baldknobber's tickets for July! But first, NAPS.  Every day!  TWICE mebbe!

So........ dug outta the pocket, the last $20 bill. The slot machine eats it with ease.  Ya pull the handle. Close your eyes. Sure, sure, ED has set in, but you got options now that one little one hour waiting period can handle......

The guess is HOUND. It's GOTTA BE HOUND!  The machine is a spinnin, cigarette smoke from the others around don't even bug ya, because, you feel like Mike, remember?  MIKE'S GOT THIS! Our problems are solved.  Who cares if I did 3rd grade twice (and, sophomore year too).... BABY YOU CAN DRIVE MY (NEW) CAR. YES I'M GONNA BE A STAR!

Ha, I remembered which eye was closeup to peek thru this time!

I open it, but justa tad.

The machine stops.

Turns over the letters.

BOUND. DAMNIT DARNIT! I did all that planning!  Remember?  (FOUND, WOUND, POUND, HOUND, ROUND, MOUND) I'm bound to get it right!....  crap. I forgot BOUND.

I'll NEVER post my lifle, Wordle score on Facebook again. I'm gonna haveta work until my arthritis gets so bad I can't.  Banquet meals. I'll make my own laundry soap (seen on some site, you can really save.)  Buy me a crockpot at the Thrift Store, some cheapy Tupperwear like thingys at the Dollar (and a quarter) Tree. Leftovers T, W, Th.

Hang dog.

The walk of shame to the car.  "Hello, switchboard operator?  Do you guys have a service here that'll gimme a jump start?  The battery on my 2006 Caddy won't turn over."

And... the beat (down of yourself) goes on.... .the beat (down) goes on... La de da de de.. La de da da da..

"Hey Casey?"  Yeah?  "It's your boss. I've got some great news!"  Oh thanks boss, I can really use it right about now. "Awesome.. Well, we noticed, after you turned 65 how frequently you pee.  We're moving you to the cubicle RIGHT NEXT TO THE MEN'S BATHROOM!"

Wordle.  Lifle.

There is no joy in Mudville.. Mighty Casey has struck out.

Oh well, I always enjoyed Sudoku more anyways...

Love, Victurd.