Oh well. "That" ain't what I meant.
Car. What do you like? Big'N? Gotta have three rows 'cause you gotta lotta rugrats? Smart car for economics? (Just shoot me, I see those on Interstate and I beg, please, PLEASE slow down, be careful, you'll shoot your eye out, someone might step on you and squish you like a bug, geez) I personally, will hunt a bigger car and trade a little less gas mileage for the thought, should I get in a wreck, I won't be catapulted into the next County.
Hounds. Big? Little? My SIL had, I think it was an Irish Wolfhound. BEAUTIFUL, gentle, HUGE hound. Head was literally a full FOOT above the kitchen counter. Bigger'n the smart car there!
I like ALL hounds but lean toward favoring the little bitty ones! Seems they stick around longer too.
Man? Tallest? Howabout Robert Wadlow, 8'11" !!!!
Woman? Zing Jinlian, a mere 8'1" !!!!
For 30 years..I reffed 1st and 2nd grade baskeball. There was a young feller, I swear, a full two feet taller than the other kiddos. It was unreal, TOO easy for him. Talked to his coach.. Apparently, the child's father played pro basketball overseas.. himself in excess of 7 foot. At the first practice he went to, the coach told me "There were a ton of kids shooting baskets. I walked up to him (the BigN), told him, 'You're gonna have to get off the court now, we're starting 1st and 2nd grade practice' and he, startlingly, told me "But I AM in 2nd grade!", I couldn't believe it." Me neither!
Size of my brain = pea sized. Doing this stupid blog for 11 years, I think it is, it just switched to CENTER alignment, I have ZERO idea on how to get it back. Sorry. Kinda.
Size of old people's recall, small as well. Perty sure this one has been around. Guy was dating 3 women. Decided to give 'em $5000 apiece just to see what they'd do with it. First one, bought all kindsa clothes, jewelry, makeup, new hairdo, yada, to impress him. Did. Next one, used the entire $5K to buy things for him, new duds, shoes, expensive cologne, necklace, yada.. Impressed him. Third one, invested the $5K.. her investments gave her $5K, and she gave him back his $5K, impressed him... SO? Which one did he pick? The one with the biggest boobs. (This blog IS about size ya know?)
Size, wallpaper. Man I hated doing that. Size, some egos, patooey! Size, city whar' you live, I live. I likes smaller. As long as I can wave at a folk or three at the Piggly Wiggly, perfect for me. No likey hustle bustle of big... and.. when the Dollar General is whar ya go for everything, a tad too small.
Just figured the alignment out.
Cousin came to town once. We went to a bar. "Where's the women's bathroom?" HUH? I asked. "Yeah... that's where ya sit." Size 'em up I guess was his point.
How is there a Size 0? Wouldn't they be transparent?
Speakin'a zero. Band camp. Worked for Eastern Airlines. Owner wanted a sizeable decrease in pay from Union to remain afloat. Union dude wouldn't budge. We begged him "80% of something is better'n 100% of nothing!" He didn't budge, belly up we went. Oh well.
"It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog." Mark Twain, and, a 9 year old, redheaded, freckled faced kid's PE teacher long ago.
"You can tell the size of the man by the size of thing that makes him mad." Adlai Stevenson
Many companies, get ridda an older, 'almost ready to retire, but not quite' higher paid worker AND, throw in a young 20-something, call it "Downsizing." Uh huh.
Longest river (Nile, 4,132 miles).. Biggest animal, Antarctic Blue Whale, up to 400,000 lbs, Huh uh! Uh huh.... Most seats on an airplane? Airbus 380-800 seats 853 folks.
In August of 1923, Frank and Elizabeth Brazier went to visit relatives in Wolcott, Indiana. They took their two kiddos, and their hound pooch Bobbie, a 2 yr old Scotch Collie/English Shepherd mix. Three other dogs attacked Bobbie, he ran off, looked high and low, never found. Remorsefully, had to go back home. Silverton, Oregon, 2,551 miles ot the West. Six months later, February of 1924, Bobbie showed up at their door, mangy, dirty, scrawny, toenails wore to nothing. Apparently on their trip to Indiana, they'd stopped at service stations along the way to sleep. Once word got around of Bobbie's journey, they received letter's from folks along the way, at ALL of these stops, attesting to them helping feed, tend to injuries, etc. That's a long dog walk.
Just over 10 foot. (Largest snowfall, Thompson Pass, Alaska, 1955)
Biggest house. Billionaire Mukesh Ambani's 'shack' in Antilia, India. 40 stories, enough concrete to withstand an earthquake of 8 magnitudes, and, a garage that houses the family's 168 cars. "Honey, you seen the Maserati?" It's in stall #73 Muke.
"It's not the size of the house. It's how much love is inside." Martina McBride. Not sure Muke'd agree withya Martina.
"Cut the pizza in four pieces, I'm not hungry enough to eat six." Yogi Berra
Jameis Winston tossed it, Vita Vea caught it, and at 347 pounds, he became the heaviest NFL player to ever score a touchdown. Sorry Fridge.
Amazon. Hawaiian shirt. Mr. XS pays $9.99, me (XXL) pays $29.99. I call discrimination. What happened to one size fit$ all?
KC Star, Sunday paper huge, Monday, not so much, Saturday, disappeared altogether. Something about size of circulation.
Computers got hella smaller over the years, bigger brains, memories. Go figure.
Big Mac. Whopper. Tenderloins the size of Rhode Island. Fine print, most, don't (can't) read.
And everybody knew ya didn't give no lip to Big John (Big John, big John) Big bad John (big John)
Kid in school, last name Littlejohn, poor kid. They called him Tiny Toilet. Little Jimmy Dickens. Andre The Giant. The Rock. Roscoe Arbuckle, you might know him as Fatty. My son calls me fatty. Little turd.
Just prior to first snap, every game, KC Chiefs on defense. Chris Jones, peers across the line of scrimmage, says to the Center, "Whatsup fatty?"
Airplane setabelt extensions. High Heels. Narrow streets. Big deals. DON'T YOU KNOW WHO I AM? Small potatoes. I've got a huge problem with that. Don't sweat the small stuff. Looms large to me. Pickleball, ain't gotta run as far. Old age, can't run as far.
Inflation. The Dollar (and a quarter) Tree. The price of ground beef. OK, grab the damn Bar S hot dogs and two Banquet meals.
Long lines. Mini golf. Big Arenas. Quaint theaters. Oceans, ponds. Honey, let's downsize. The long and short of it. Big Bank Roll. I'll gladly pay you Tuesday. Dad can I have $10?
So. You're out in the middlea nowhere. Flat tire. You sweat, change. A hunnerd and twelve miles to the next known tire dealer. Donut tire warn me "Drive no further than 70 miles and no faster than 50 miles per hour." Did like, you just get here?
Abbreviations. Long winded folks. Bass voice. Squeeky mouse. Big Gulp. Baker's dozen. Buy one get one. Here, try our 10oz soda pop, yes, it is smaller, but, it only cost as much as the 12oz usedta.
Half full. Half empty. Does it really matter? I'M A PEOPLE PERSON! One is the loneliest number. Three's a crowd. Fifth wheel. (Screw you, I'll drive 112 miles at 70mph).
Sorry sir, I know there are only three in your foresome today, but, we've got a waiting list, we must charge you for four. I call BS.
BS, on average, weighs 6 lbs.
My dad (whom I loved, loved, loved... and loved loved loved to tease.. he made that eaasy) was Edward "Buddy" Schultze. He called me Victurd. I called him BS.
Long enough Victor, get outta here.
Brb, gonna proofread. Whereinthehell did I put my readers? (Glovebox, Maserati, Stall #73)
And QUIT staring at my thumbs!
Love, Victurd
No comments:
Post a Comment