Well shiver my timbers (Long John Silver). That's absurd. I allllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllways list my sources. (Pinocchio).
Well damnit darnit. (Hey, please don't get mad at that, given all the crap we hear pulled up to a stoplight, windows down, BLARED to the max and you know what letters them eww words start with!)
Google and Wiki. (Resources).. There. How's that? (Me.... and......George Santos.)
OK, OK, OK. Darn near everything I do here I steal. (Vic Schultze, checkenginelight). Go ahead, sue me. "There's no getting blood out of a turnip." (Frederick Marryat, 1836). And then, I read s'more. The blood/turnip thing was questionably attributed to many. Who knows?
Happens. We steal. Sometimes, without intent. (Herpes, Syphilis, Gonorrhea) VICTOR! STOP!
How? Why? What was the pong in the brain this morning? Well... two days ago, blog was a downer. Then, yesterday, I aimed for redemption with all things Pollyanna. OK, I guess. So, now what?
Average, that's what. We had yuck, we had good. (Some days are diamond, some days are stone, John Denver.) Victor, that's gettting a tad annoying. (Blog reader.)
Right, right, you're bloody well right. (Supertramp)
OK OK OK. I thought today we could take a look at AVERAGE. Were you aware, "Americans eat, on average, “two pounds of flies, maggots and other bugs each year," according to a Scientific American blog. Turns out, the FDA allows for bugs and other sources of contaminates in food, and the levels are largely based on aesthetics, since insects don't generally pose a health risk. Victor, let's turn your average direction elsewhere. OK, but food for thought (or, thought for food) ya might wanna avoid:
- Pasta may contain an average of 225 insect fragments.
- A cup of raisins can have up to 33 fruit fly eggs.
- Fig paste is allowed to have up to 13 insect heads in 100 grams.
- Up to five fruit flies is allowed in an 8-ounce cup of canned fruit juice.
- One maggot is allowed in every 250 milliliters of fruit
OK OK, we get the drift. Move on. (Ok, but first, I must warn you, ya done plagiarized too as MoveOn is a Democratic organization, something about 'no likey MAGA', I think.
Average. Every hour, humans shed about 600,000 particles of skin. Gets your dander up don't it?
The average person produces about 25,000 quarts of saliva in a lifetime, enough to fill up two swimming pools. And you were worried about pee. Right handed people, on average, live 9 years longer than left handed people. Damnit darnit.
On average, a four year old asks 450 questions a day. We've been there, done that, seems sometimes aggravation sets in when it's our child, yet, it's a wonderful trait of grandchildren. (You asked, didn't ya?) There are over 70 million grandparents in our nation. Grandparents are generous, making up 45% of the giving to nonprofits. MANY raise their grandkids. (Bless my ex/grandson). Hearda Maya Angelou, Bill Clinton, Carol Burnett, Willie Nelson, Eric Clapton, Oprah Winfrey? Each, raised by grandparents.
Among people who can move their ear, only 1/3 can move one ear. Starry starry night. Women blink two times more than the average man. Imagine that! Don't shoot me! Nails on fingers grow four times faster than nails on toes. Damn good thing cause them suckers get harder and harder to reach.
The average age of the President when he takes office is 54. After the last two elections, that means there's gotta be some 20-somethings in there somewhere.
Eight in ten people don't answer their cell when an unfamiliar number pops up. Men are more likely to asnwer than women. (Don't shoot me, that surprises me.) Victor, you're a misogynist. No I ain't. One study (by the United Nations actually) said "only 14% of women and 10% of men are free of bias against women. Geez (sorry) Louise. The hurrieder we go, the behinder we get. (Victor, no crude marks about behinds) Butt of course, Ok.
90% of people are innies, only 10% outties. People use 17 muscles smiling, 43 frowning. The struggle is real. Children grow fastest in the Spring, Hair, when on an airplane, grows twice as fast. At birth, we have around 300 bones. As an adult, only 206. I guess that's 94 political arguments on Facebook (bones that were picked). On average, a person falls asleep in 7 minutes. I call BS. The aroma of apples and bananas helps to lose weight. Roughly 90% of all people who lose weight eventually regain just about all of it. I guess we should go hang out in the produce aisle at Piggly Wiggly. But Victor.. the maggots. I give up.
The average blog is hella shorter than this. OK, but just a few more, than I promise I'll get outta your hair and go take a nap. (Pee first though, on average, I usually do.) A few more:
People with blue eyes are more sensitive to pain than others. Since you asked (I gathered) in the US, 45% have brown eyes, 27% blue, 18% hazel, 9% green, 1% with another color. Yeah? You?
On average, a person spends two weeks of their life kissing, 33% of life sleeping... one hour, 8 minutes a day eating/drinking... 26 minutes a day texting... 1 poop per day at 12 minutes each (really?) would be 4,380 minutes per year, or, 73 hours per year, life expectancy is 79 years, so, do the math, we spend 240 days of our life pooping. Laid on end, the small intestine is 18 to 23 feet long. No wonder.
Huh? What? Why you PERVERT! .45% spent in a lifetime having sex.. which, translates to roughly 117 days. About half as much time as we poop. No wonder too that the divorce rate is so high, life can be crappy, and, that we're outta TP most everywhere in our land.
Your average Joe....
Love, Victurd (240 days of my life)..
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