Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Dogggggggggggiiiiiiiiieeeeessssss......

Nothing to do with this blog.  Ok, maybe a tad.

Of course, it's Jed Clampett, expressing perhaps, disbelief..  astonishment.. "I can't believe it." Or, maybe a simple review of Grannie's crockpot creation.

Alla the below, stolen from Wiki.

Who the heck am I?

My folks (Ira Doyle and Myrle Marie) moved from Arkansas to Texas to look for work (before I was born.)  Then, I was born. Ta-da! It was April 29, 'ceptin the Doctor wrote it down wrong, and put April 30.  My cousin Mildred actually named me - and, she chose my middle name Hugh in honor of her recently deceased brother.

Dad was a mechanic, and HEY?  Where'd mom go?  She bootscooted not long after I was born.  Dad remarried, and HEY?  Where'd he go? He took off too!

So........ thankfully, my grandparents took my sister Bobbie and I in... and we went to school in Abbott, TX.  During summers, our whole fam damily would pick cotton alongside other Abbott residents.  I did not like picking cotton, so.....  Real early in life I started making a buck or two in the field that, once you know, will hopefully figure out who I am.

To look at me today, you wouldn't know it, but HEY, I was a perty good athlete!  Whenya think of good athletes, it's normally the dude who is the Point Guard in basketball, the Quarterback in Football and the Shortstop in Baseball.  Well, that was me - 'ceptin I played halfback insteada quarterback. Still, not bad eh?

I was in the Future Farmers of America, and weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee doogggggggggiiiiiieeesssss, I raised pigs.  Wanna see my ribbons?  As I got a tad older, I worked as a relief telephone operator...  then, as a tree trimmer.  And, for a short, ifn's you needed money real bad, you could bring me your jewelry, coins, tools to the pawn shop where I worked.

Hup two three four - out the door, United States Air Force... well, for nine months anyways.  Then I started having some back probs.  When'd ya get em? About a weak back. So............. they gave me a medical discharge.

Then, I went to Baylor University for a couple years, majored in agriculture, joined Tau Kappa Epsilon. You were a Teke? I am a Teke, yes.  After two years, I started making a buck or two in the field that, once you know, will hopefully figure out who I am, so, quit college. "That", where I started making a buck or two in the field that, one you know, will hopefully figure out who I am, wasn't all I did..  I'd married Martha.. and I too was a nightclub bouncer, autohouse partsman, saddle maker, and, did the tree trimmin' thing again.

I think it was that Horace fellow who said "Go West Young Man", so I did, to San Diego. Not a lotta opportunity there, so, I hitchhiked to Portland, Oregon, where my mom lived. Except, weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee doogggggggggiiiiiieeesssss, nobody picked me up - so, I slept in a ditch.. then, hopped a train bound for Eugene.  Once there, a nice truck driver picked me up, drove me to the bus station, and then loaned me 10 bucks for a ticket to Portland.

That, where I started making a buck or two in the field that, one you know, will hopefully figure out who I am, helped me see places.  Uproot a lot, so to speak.  We're talking, Colorado... then Springfield, Missouri... to compliment "that side job" thing, I worked as a dishwasher.  Didn't much care for that, so... moved back to Texas... for a year, I gave up "that side job" where I started making a buck or two in the field that, once you know, will hopefully figure out who I am. So?  Then, what'd ya do?

Well, I sold vacuum cleaners and Bibles door to door, then, I became a sales manager for the Encyclopedia Britannica. We welcomed son Billy into the world, then moved to Houston, Texas. I worked at "that side job" for a couple years, then we bootscooted to Nashville, Tennessee. I spent an hour or four-hundred hanging out at Tootsie's Orchid Lounge, you may'a heard'a that one.

Martha and I had divorced, made it ten years.. then I met wife to be #2, Shirley, where I started making a buck or two in the field that, one you know, will hopefully figure out who I am. We got hitched in Vegas, then, I did a job associated with "that side job" in Pico Rivera, California. But, since it really wasn't "that side job" I was doing, we bought a ranch in Ridgetop, Tennessee.

Took a few short trips in "that side job" that was now my  real job, but, twasn't making ends meet, so,  Shirley ended.  My ranch in Tennessee burned down, I looked at it as 'a signal for change', so.. moved to another ranch, this time in Bandera, Texas. Yep, wife #3 (Connie.) Twas a whirlwind. While I was doing "that side job, now my real job" it just wasn't going as I liked it, so, I decided to retire from where I started making a buck or two in the field that.  WAIT!  You can't do that, you'll NEVER be famous then!

So, got the itch again. Moved to Austin, Texas.. Eventually got back in "that side job, now my real job" and, that was the enda ever picking cotton, raisin' pigs, bouncing at clubs, fetching auto parts, pawn shops, trimmin' trees, hawkin' Bibles, vacuums (that job sucked), washin' dishes, because... where I started making a buck or two in the field that, once you know, will hopefully figure out who I am, I started making it.

What else?  What else, outside of "that (once) side job" where I started making a buck or two in the field that, once you know, will hopefully figure out who I am, what else did you do?

Well... along with another couple, we built two bio-diesel plants, and started selling it to truck stops. Yeah?  Yeah. And, close your ears, I likes me some pot.  I've been very active in NORML. Yeah?  Yep, in fact, started the Tea-Pot Party, "tax it, regulate it, legalize it." Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Dogggggggggggiiiiiiiiieeeeessssss, uh huh, that's what many would say after. And?

I like horses. In fact, I went to DC as an advocate for better treatment of horses, and campaigned for passage of the American Horse Slaughter Prevention Act, alongside the Animal Welfare Institute.

I've been married four times........Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Dogggggggggggiiiiiiiiieeeeessssss... had 8 kids (wee doggy, wee doggy, wee doggy, wee doggy, wee doggy, wee doggy, wee doggy, wee doggy). There was a tad bit of violence in onea my marriages.. she sewed me up in my bedsheets and then beat me with a broomstick. Gggggyooooolllllleeeeeeee! (What I said too Gomer, as well as owwwwwwwwiiiieeeee..)  So, I gots me a a second degree blackbelt in taekwondo.

I've been arrested a few times for pot. Sorry. Kinda. Not really. First in Dallas.. then, me and a buddy flew to the Bahamas, we was late for the plane so they sent our bags later. Went to pick em up, uh huh, arrested.  Pot in 'em. (Who let the drug sniffing dogs out?)..  They arrested me, so, my buddy arranged to get me out, fetched me a six packa beer, drank it, they let me out a few hours later, I was tipsy, jumped with excitement, fell, took me to ER. So. judge wasn't happy.  Let me go, but told me "Don't ever come back to this Country." OK.

The IRS knows me.  In fact, once they said I needed to pay them $32 million. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Dogggggggggggiiiiiiiiieeeeessssss that's a lotta tree-trimmin', Bible hawkin', pigs sold, bio-fuel.  Lawyer got it reduced to $16 mil, then, negotiated that down with the IRS to $6 million, I didn't comply. Instead, I used "that side job, now my real job", made up sumpin', friends bought it, the IRS auctioned off my assets.. buddies, friends, bought 'em, and most of 'em donated 'em back to me. Finally got them outta my hair (it's long) in 1993.

Looking back, that side job that became my real job that, where I started making a buck or two in the field that, once you know, will hopefully figure out who I am took me a few places.  Like 2,693.  Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Dogggggggggggiiiiiiiiieeeeessssss.  You've been everywhere! Are you Johnny Cash?

That's "Crazy"! No, but I have been on the road again, and again, and I really can't wait to get back on the road again.

Thanks for reading my checkenginelight blog, you are always on my mind.

Love, Victurd