I know an old blogger who swallowed boredom.....

I know an old lady who swallowed a fly

I don't know why she swallowed the fly
Perhaps she'll die

I know an old lady who swallowed a spider
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly
But I don't know why she swallowed the fly
Perhaps she'll die

No cause for alarm.  "Americans eat, on average, two pounds of flies, maggots and other bugs each year," according to a Scientific American 

I know an old lady who swallowed a bird
How absurd to swallow a bird
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly
But I don't know why she swallowed the fly
Perhaps she'll die

The cassowary has been known to kill human beings with slashing blows of its feet,, as the innermost of its three toes bears a long daggerlike nail. The bird has been observed moving rapidly along narrow tracks in the bush, sprinting as fast as 50 km (31 miles) per hour.

I know an old lady who swallowed a cat
Imagine that. she swallowed a cat
She swallowed the cat to catch the bird
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly
But I don't know why she swallowed that fly
Perhaps she'll die

(Cat-Scratch Fever)People with cat-scratch disease have a red, painless bump at the site of the scratch, and some have a fever, headache, poor appetite, or swollen lymph nodes. In people with a weakened immune system, the infection may spread throughout the body and, without treatment, may result in death. 

I know an old lady who swallowed a dog
What a hog to swallow a dog
She swallowed the dog to catch the cat
She swallowed the cat to catch the bird
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly
But I don't know why she swallowed that fly
Perhaps she'll die

In the 13-year period of January 1, 2005 to December 31, 2017, canines killed at least 433 Americans. (They prolly deserved it.)

I know an old lady who swallowed a goat
Opened her throat and down went the goat
She swallowed the goat to catch the dog
She swallowed the dog to catch the cat
She swallowed the cat to catch the bird
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly
But I don't know why she swallowed that fly
Perhaps she'll die

Some goats may always require a second pair of hands during handling or require halter training to keep everyone safe. More confrontational goats can injure humans with kicks or horns if they feel particularly concerned with handling.   (Dunno about deathly, but can be really baa-aaa-aaa-aad.)

I know an old lady who swallowed a cow
I don't know how she swallowed the cow
She swallowed the cow to catch the goat
She swallowed the goat to catch the dog
She swallowed the dog to catch the cat
She swallowed the cat to catch the bird
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly
But I don't know why she swallowed that fly
Perhaps she'll die

The average cow weighs 1,100 lbs.  The average human consumes 57 pounds of beef per year.  Thus, every 19.29 years, a human eats an entire cow.

I know an old lady who swallowed a horse
She's alive and well of course

Because horse meat is commonly eaten in many countries in Europe and Asia. Stay off 'em though, 710 horse riders per year die.

Boredom is hard to swallow but it will go down.

Forward by Peter, Paul (Harvey) and Mary

Love, Victurd