It's the Annual Sciuridae (Family of Squirrels) Convention in beautiful Eureka. Sqads (that's 'scads' in squirrel,) rode from highways 22, 62, 187, 412 yada... riding Harleys, Victorys and Crotchrockets for the gala.
Members of, Squirrels of Silence, Trees Angel's, Chewing Few, Leather, Lace and Longtail... the welcomed invaders took up temporary residence in VRBO's (Vacation Rental Being Outdoors) and the infamous tree houses throughout the hills of Eureka.
Rocket J. Squirrel, the outgoing Convention President according to KNUT News...
"Welcome brethren, high tail to all. Much, very much going on this week, and we are glad you all made it here safely. Them windy roads gettin' here, with some'a them hills, made it Sqarier'n goin' down a hunnerd foot oak tree head first. ...
"Squeaking o' which, one of first 'brake-out' sessions will be led by Squeakmund Freud in hopes of improving all of our skills in making Squicker decisions when in traffic. Heaven knows we've all come upon a flattened relative in the middle'a the road who obviously couldn't, didn't decide quick enough.
"Brake out #2 will showcase Sqyreek Hill (Star SFL receiver), of course the most famous zig zagging squirrel ever. Wear comfy clothes as he's gonna teach this-way, that-way, then-the-other way moves. Were you all aware our hind feet can turn 180 degrees? But of course, that and our claws enable us to go downs Oaks, Elms, Sequoias head first.
"Then we'll take a break so we can all gad about town, taking in Blues, BBQ, fermented apple juice, and of course swing by the East By West to say Hi to our cousin, rabbit, as he takes in cash and credit cards, then gives back receipts or change. Warning, if you imbibe on one too many fermented juices, either take Designated Squirrel with ya, or, if you're alone, or, the whole damn scurry of'ya are sloshed, call a SqUber.
"Good news, bad news.. our contingent from NY, the VeSqpas, can't come this year, but, thankfully that additionally means our longtime archival Boris Badenov and Natasha Fatale won't either. They're stuck in a NY Supreme Court hearing where the VeSqpas are suing the pair for nonpayment, slander, and, for paying other Squirrels to make untrue, incriminating statements about the VeSqpas. Bor' and 'Tasha claim 'Not True', but, that's a bunch of Bull (wink wink.)
"Later we'll have the Why Did The Squirrel Cross The Road Race up on 23 outside our buddies, The Elks Lodge joint. Every squirrel pays 3 acorns, fastest Sq across the road and back takes all, and after we'll have a brief memorial service for those that didn't make it last year.
"It's not all brake outs and meeting, we're gonna have tree climbin' contests, see who can Crack and eat the most acorns in ten minutes - and we'll finish up with our annual 'BushyTail.com" Dance, of course that's our dating site, come one, come all, ya just may find ya some tail to your liking, no bull, wink wink.
"I'm also announcing this will be my final Convention as President. I'm getting up there in age, and no one wants an old, Sqenile geezer as a leader. We'll have an election as our last order of business here. Please bring a picture ID, and as always, DemoSqrats can vote twice with four accompanying acorns.
"Be proud, hold your tails up high, and may you never miss a limb when you fly."
Love, Victurd
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