It ain't half bad.......

 %

Coffee made, Wordle done, Sport's read , Sudoku cinchy (it's Monday, the easiest day)... Local news (patooey).. National news (s'more patooey).. World news (huh uh).. then,

"New Jersey wildfire is 75% contained."  That confused the hell outta me.  I started to dig deeper into the tiny font KC rag, but, onea the toothpicks holding my eyelids apart, slipped.  Half ain't bad, but when it was the 'read close up' eye, that ain't good.

"Baseball is 90 percent mental. The other half is physical."  Yogi Berra, Ancient Roman Emperor

You successfully swing at, hit, fastballs, curves, slurves, changeups, knuckle balls, sliders... successful (REALLY successful) being 33% of the time, they throwya in Cooperstown.

Pack one, just one, parachute improperly, they throwya in San Quentin.

In the US, 27% of the folks have blue eyes. 60.3% work.   37.9 million (that's a lot) in the US live in poverty.  Victor?  What percent is that?  11.5, pass the peanut butter perty please!

51% of the babies born in the US are MALE.  Nuh uh!  Uh huh!  Criminy, it's no wonder I'm single, I'm behind the 8 ball.  Gimme a break, gimme a break, break me offa piecea that Kit Kat Bar..  (On the break, the 8 ball goes in only 0.8% of the time). 

Less than 2% of NCAA athletes go on to play professionally. One-third (that be 0.33333333333333, yep, 14 of them suckers) of all adults still sleep with a comfort object.  VICTOR?  What did you just throw behind the bed? Well I'll be go to hell, that's a TEDDY BEAR ain't it?  Ahm, ahm, my granddaughter dropped it last time she was here, honest.

On a daily occurance, 12% of the people over 18 lie quite often.

13% of patients lie to Docs... "Yessir, half pack a day... and..  on Wednesdays, my buddies and I have two beers apiece after golf."  Every day, women tell three lies to their partners, supervisors, and co-workers. MISOGYNIST!  AM NOT, I JUST PLAGUERIZE THE CRAP I READ.  Lemme see, three lies a day,  that's dang near 1,100 a year. Victor, this blog is on percent, not totals. Get with the system.

The average American generates nearly 4.5 pounds of trash each day.  So...... if you're above average, would that mean more or less trash?

Michael row the boat ashore.  Over the past century, Michael been the most popular male baby name 44 times. While I'm only of C+, M+ ilk, I can capabaly inform you that's 44% of the time.

80% of the people DO NOT wash their hands after using the toilet.  Eww.

You  scream, I scream..... the average American eats nearly 13 pounds of ice cream per year.  Victor?  Average?  The average American is about $131,000 in debt, has $34 in their pocket, spends $69 a day, reads just 4 books a year, is 17 pounds overweight.  VICTOR?  Huh?  Whadda you weigh?

15.5% of Americans are hard of hearing. We get an average of 0.5 pieces of personal mail per household every week.

On an average day, only 19% of men do housework, as compared to 49% of women. Victor?  Why is that? 

15.5% of Americans are hard of hearing. The aveage person could fill as many as 23 2-liter bottles with the amount of saliva they produce in a month. That sentence bugged 99%  of the people, but there is always that one weirdo with eyes like Marty Feldman, ya know?

59% of dogs are obese. 43% of dogs sleep in their owners' beds. 79% of dogs get a Christmas present.  There are more than 6,000 dogs registered to come to work with Amazon employees at the company's Seattle office.  Dog poop weighs between 2.5 ounces and 1 pound.  The average dog poops 1 to 5 times a day.  Low end, that's 937.5 pounds of dog poop at Amazon daily, high end, 30,000 pounds of dog poop a day. (6000 dogs times 1 pound time 5 times a day) Prime odor, either end.

As many as 95% of millennials are not saving adequately for retirement.  What about you Victor, you're a boomer?  45% of baby boomers save a sufficient amount for retirement.  Victor, I didn't ask for a boomer average, I asked abou YOU?

15.5% of Americans are hard of hearing.  Each American drinks an average of 26.5 gallons of beer and cider per year.  Victor?............... Victor? I HAPPEN to really like cider, bite me.

"If what you're reading bores you or just doesn't catch your imagination, your mind is likely to wander and it often wanders right off to sleep."

You can fool somea the people alla the time, alla the people somea the time...... never, EVER, eat a tootsie roll at Amazon in Seattle.

Love, VicTURD