Remember the old Rock Em Sock Em Robots?
I was eating my Corn Flakes... and allofasudden, I gotta funny taste... which... is fancy for... Less Filling/Tastes Great.... CAITLIN DID IT/NO SHE DIDN'T!.... HE'S TOO OLD!/HE'S A FELON!... me, the Red Rocker Robot... dualing the Blue Bomber.... WHAMMO! I took one to the chin, ya' hear that unwinding sound, my head shot up and I was toast. Gone. Done. Finito.
Yick.. .yuck... patooey... Victor, you PROMISED yourself you'd NEVER allow someone, something, to upset you so. I would say, Social Media, ya got me again, BUT... I am of the age, when I feel like mebbe someone did pee in my Corn Flakes (And trust me, I know, I know, Granny taught me "two sides to every board.").. I shoulda poured 'em out.. rinsed the bowl.. scrubbed it... THEN, put it in the dishwasher to clean, sanitize, ie, stayed calm.
But I didn't. THAT got my dander up. LIGHT BULB! Not an LED one, I ain't that bright. Not onea them swirly circular "25 year bulb"s, I ain't living that long... but, I had an idea........
I wonder if there is a town named Dander??
Couldn't find one. Maybe I could find me onea them rich, divorced, hard of hearing, doesn't speak English, 60-something, hot blondes.. fetch her up in my 2002 Buick Century, take what pittance I gots left in the bank... buy a small (really small) parcel of unincorporated land, toss a Tiny Home up, plant a sign in the yard, 'Dander', whatever state, and we'd be the first. OK, 70-something'd work too.
As my BP lowered, and, I pushed down my head back down on the Rock Em Sock Em Robot (I get knocked down, but I get up again, you're never gonna keep me down) - eh, whatever Victor... I found me some towns I ain't never heard of.........
Boring, Oregon. Sounds wonderful.
Flasher, North Dakota. Wunner if that's close to Sturgis, SD? Band camp (VICTOR, you've told this before). Bite me. Band Camp. A buddy had recently returned from Sturgis during Sturgis and I asked him, "What's it like?" ... he thought a sec... then... "I've never seen so many ugly naked people in my life." Mebbe they retire in Flasher?
Monkeys Eyebrow, Kentucky. Huh? WTH? According to an unofficial historian, this community’s name is sometimes rendered as Monkey’s Eyebrow or Monkey Eyebrow. There are several stories about why it got called that, but the preferred version is that western Kentucky vaguely resembles the profile of a monkey’s face, partially outlined by the Ohio River — and Monkeys Eyebrow sits where, well, the monkey’s eyebrow would be.
Normal, Illinois. SURELY no one lives there. Ain't no one normal is there? Ahm, there are 54,534 residents Victor. Wow. Liars!
Peculiar, Missouri. X. I have been here! 1899 the citizenry applied for a post office to be established for their community.. they suggested "Excelsior", but, found out there already was one'a them (Been there too!).. so, they sent the name-picker-outer in the Department a note "Give us some 'Peculiar' name" and that they did.
Arkansas, if yain't never been there, is really pretty. Folks are laid back, fun, not much Rock Em Sock Em 'ems. I likes a couple towns I found:
1. Toad Suck, Arkansas. X. On the Arkansas River. Seems Steamboats usedta go thru.. the river would get too shallow.. they'd tie up.. go to the local tavern to await passable conditions. Apparently they imbibed so freely “They suck on the bottle ‘til they swell up like toads.”
2. Bald Knob, Arkansas. Has an immense rock outcropping that served as a landmark for early pioneers.
Why, Arizona... Population 167. Victor, this ain't Hee Haw. Sorry. POW, take that smartass Rock Em Sock Em blog responder. X. Been there, done that, Why not. Seems it was named after the Intersection of Hwys 85 and 86. Folks wanted to name it Y, Arizona.. State said "nope, three letters, minimum." Ok, "Why" then. Why not, right?
Whynot, North Carolina. Town meeting for a town that ain't never been named... LONG town meeting. Finally, it was suggested "Why not name it Whynot and then we can go home?" Did.
Likely, California Postal Service said "get ridda the name South Fork." Folks gathered, submitted three town names. Nope, nope and nope, "all three are already CA towns." A dude said that they would likely never find a name, then another dude said, “It is not likely that there will be another post office in the state called ‘Likely.’” They submitted that, and it was accepted.
Goodbye Joe (Montana) me gotta go. Local KC radio station, when Joe Montana came to the KC Chiefs from the 49'ers.. got Ismay, Montana to unofficially change it's name to Joe, Montana.
Gonna stop in Gas, Kansas to fill up. Then, I'll drive, stop, overeat in Chunky, Mississippi.. swing by Blue Ball, Pennsylvania (Victor I don't even wanna know.. me neither).. get to the fork in the road in Between, Georgia (take it, per Yogi Berra).. avoid traffic in Accident, Maryland....
Back across this great US of A, home to Boring.
Woooooaaaaaaahhhhh Dander, stay down. No Rock Em Sock Em for me for awhile. I'm outta Rolaids. Work on that rich, divorced, hard of hearing, doesn't speak English, 60-something, hot blonde for me wouldya?
Love, Victurd
(Somewhere in this hoarder mess I've got me a pic of a redheaded snotnose standing infronta a sign in Victor, Colorado.)
Going to go look up that disingenuous word that one guy winged at me. Victor? Let it go, love, Elsa... Elsa? Yes? English as a 2nd language?
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