Who
What
Where
When
Why
Who. Well, he's on first.
What. I said "who" is on first. What is on second.
Where. Where? Second base is over there... but, there is no 'Where' in the Abbott/Costello Script.
When. Ain't a when on the field either, but, A&C first performed this on Kate Smith's radio show (Who?), Kate Smith.. WHEN? I'm trying to tell you... in March of 1938.
Why. I'll tell you Why. (First, Why is in leftfield). Why. I dunno, the manager put him there.
What. Take my wife............. please! WHAT? What's on second. Henny Youngman (The "take my wife... please!" guy.. was a regular on Kate's show. Henny got an offer from Paramount Pictures in Hollywood,, wanted to bootscoot, but, Kate's producer said "You gotta get a replacement before you go". Henny went to Loews State Theater (Where?... it's not important... ) What (second base) IS important - is that he saw A&C perform the "Who's on first" act there.. Who? He's on first, but yes, A&C. Recomended them, the rest is history. Why?
Why Ask Why is a book by John Mason (Who?) John Mason.. the book contains seventy thought-provoking questions to find answers to building a better life. To go where you want to go, you have to ask the right questions. Who? Anyone. We beg of you Victor, please don't give us the entire list. K, won't.
Which of course, brings me back to sunny Mehico. Who? Me. Why? Why is actually the fifth of the (WhoWhatWhereWhenWhy) W questions, but since you asked so nicely, I went because I needed a life break. What? What's on second... but, a life break. Ain't you ever needed one? Who? YOU!
I'd done studied some Spanish. Even signed up for some free site to learn a little more. They were kinda pushy (Who?.. I think it was Babbel).. so, I backed off... figured "Most everyone else that will be there will be in the same boat as me, I ain't gonna worry about the language.. surely, a vaca town, most will speaky the English."
So............. back to Bodega. What? What is on second, but, had you paid attention yesterday.. (Who?_..you!).. Bodega is Mehico's version of WalMart. And, of course, I had to pee. Who? Me. Why? Because it's what old men do. We pee. Often. So......... I walk in the door. I see many many people. I find one with a blue Bodega top on... (TBC)
And ask, "Restroom?" Lady (an attractive lady, mind you) gave me a smile, but, the smile was accompanied with... you know how when you're talking to your hound pooches and they kinda turn their head (silently) as if they're trying to understand what you're saying (who? ME. I had to pee).. anyways, "restroom" didn't work. Neither did Bathroom. I didn't try toilet, washroom, latrine, Loo, can,.,, and of course, had I said "John" she mighta taken me to some guy named Juan. (TBC)
I, we, (Who? Me) had reached the point of doing the pee pee dance, which, in Mehico I presume is kinda like a Mehican jumping bean.... they (Who? kind lady and another dude, Juan mebbe) took their phone, tried translation, nope, no help. My face red now. I'm certain they (Who? Kind lady and Juan) were laughing internally because this 70-something gringo was now jogging in place.
I thought about taking my finger, putting it down there (Where?..you know) to demonstrate peeing, but, I knew, if they'd arrest you and fine you on the spot for running onea them Alto stop sign things, the penalty for pretending your finger was a penis would cost boo koo pesos.
Somehow... miraculously, they ciphered what (What? He's on second) I (Who? Me, who's on first, but I had to #1).. needed... they led me there. (Where? to the "El Bano" I learn it's called) and I made it by the hair of my menny menn mentón. (Huh?) Huh ain't one'a the 5 W's, but.. menton is Chin in Spanish.
We're bored, so, I suppose this is where you finally put us to sleep by relating what the 5 W's are in Spanish. Ahm, mebbe.
'
qué ("what"), cómo ("how"), quién ("who"), dónde ("where"), cuándo ("when"), cuánto, cuánta ("how much"), cuántos, cuántas ("how many"), and por qué ("why").
Victor'? Si? Por qué?
That's a very good question, and one that I ain't got an answer to. Sorry. I think maybe I'm loco.
WHO? (You..)
WHAT? (thank you for being here, reading)
WHERE? Comprobar la luz del motor (Check engine light)
WHEN? (Now, the very minute you clicked the link)
WHY? (Because I like you)..... M-O-U-S-E (ratón)
Victor.......... you're nuts.
Eh, I reckon.
Love, Viczurullo (Uh huh, zurullo is turd in Spanish. Always flush, don't drink the aqua.)
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