Now what?

OK, that's it, life in a nutshell.............  The end.

 

Kidding, kinda.  Whenya thinka 'Now what?', er, at least, when I thinka 'Now what?' it's usually accompanied by a furrowed eyebrow, frustration, exasperation (Victor, ain't they the same thing?) such as, the same annoying question after question, like, maybe someone who continually sneaks into your blog... or, a little kid, said lovingly, tugging your shirt, followed by "Mom?" Ain't it the moms that garner mosta the questions? "Go blow your nose and get ready for dinner."

 

An annoying coworker. Or, perhaps, someone that stumbles by here pretty frequently and observes "Wow, what's eatin' him (again) today?"

 

Really - nothing, honest.  Sure., sure... "Now what" reminds us of caller ID, extended warranties, endless old people junk mail (hearing aid ads, funeral planning, that crap).. Car trouble, checkenginelights, money, "Honey? Piggly declined my card again... the hell you been buying?"

 

But.................. you can't begin a sentence with 'But.' To that I say 'then whyinthehell do they allow you to CAPITALIZE B?  Huh huh huh?

 

But......... Now what is a thing of beauty along the way.

 

Baby born. Baby don't do much. Blankie on floor. "Stay Rover". They do, for quite awhile. Then, ruh roh. The hell'd he go?  Hershal? You seen Junior?  I tease, some.

 

Walking for the first time is "Now what?", with excitement, smile, hurry, why - we dunno, but hurry.  Fall, tears, s'more now what.

 

Yellow bus.  Backpack. New duds. The Barnyard bus.  Twerp hops on.....WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE? NOW WHAT?  Oh honey, lemme tellya, it's a lifetime thing figuring out folks.  Just whenya think you gotta handle on 'em, tney fool ya, so, of course you ask "Now what?" 

 

Tee ball.  After six swings whereya knock the tee over 3 times, the bat slips outta your hands twice, you accidentally hit the catcher "sorry!".. you hit it.  Mom, dad, gramma, grampa, the Coach, your big brother command RUN!  So, ya do. To third base. NO!!! NO!!! NO!!! "TO FIRST" (where the heck is that?") Coaches pointing redfacedly getya there.. "Now what?".. we learn.

 

We go from duck, duck, goose.. to TeeBall.. to Red Rover Red Rover... to kickball, getting cooties from being on the same team as Earl.. to middle school. to Junior high.. to....."WAIT? What the heck was that feeling?"  NOW WHAT?  I HATE GIRLS? How come allofasudden I wanna grab one and kiss one? Protude. DON'T ASK ME WHY, it' just happens.  To boys and girls.

 

Fast forward.  16. Vroom vroom. "Honey, I'm going to Piggly to get us a couple steaks for Saturday night."  "NO, no you're not. Cousin Eddie, our 'discounted' insurance agent, just sent the bill for Susie's car... you're going to Wally World, fried chicken is on sale."

 

18. "But, I DON'T WANNA go to Junior College... all my friends are going to State U' to join frats (or sororities), it's only a 3 hour longer drive. I know Juco is cheap, but State is only $14,895 a semester."  Ahm, honey, swing by the Dollar Tree and get a thinga bologna would ya?

 

21.  Wings. We fly. We be big people. NOW WHAT?  I just worked yesterday. I gotta go again today?  Dad, can I borrow fitty? My gf wanted lasagna, I spent my last forty on that.  The car's on "E" too, but, it's all good, I can just sleep here tonight."NO WAIT, here ya go."

 

Love and marriage.  The saying, back in the Father Knows Best era, was, "Marriage is the most expensive way to get your laundry done free."  Well, then them ladies, back in '66, had the NOW Movement... (before you shoot me, I agree with it!).. so........... after Herbert washes, dries, folds, puts away the clothes, he addresses Ms. Fitty-One Percent of the Stock with, "Now what Honey?" Has nothing to do with those little protrusions that started happenin' back in Junior High. OK, maybe a tad.

 

So, ya have kids.  They move from the blanket to Tee ball. You Tase 'em if they run the wrong way. JK. Yellow bus, Big Chief. Ya buy a beater, liability only. ACT scores, tassles and hassles. "You're taking online courses, Junior College is WAY too expensive." All your lives you've teased them.. and you continue after you hang the lights, put up the tree.. "We wish you weren't here at Christmas.. we wish you weren't here at Christmas."

 

They fly.  "Honey, let's start our Social Security at 62, have a great retirement.  Our IRA is doing perty darn good."  OK.  So, you buy a lake house, take out a Second, boat, big one.. New F One Fitty to pull it.  Work until 70.

 

Now what?  Wanna fool around?  No..  Let's go see my brother and his wife. No.  Let's go look at ranch homes, particularly those ones with maintenance included.  We sold the lake house.  We'll sell the Pontoon. (It's got one step. Everything with steps, "Nope")

 

Honey?  We got all this stuff in the garage. Now what?

 

20 Cube dumpster. Freecycle. Yard sale. "I don't care if it's NOT a flatscreen, my beautiful grandson can play video games on it, get it outta here."

 

Each, every 'now what' turn in life is fulla wonder. Good, bad, ugly.  Let's change that to good, great, ugly, cause mosta life is yummy.  There's little left to ask, figure out. You cook, she does the dishes, whilst you give her a shoulder rub. She cooks,  you do the dishes, and serenade her what whadever your favorite song to sing is.

 

Now what, in retirement is, THE BEST.  There's "have to's" in blankets, busses, tee ball, learner permits, college, work, asset attainment, stack-a-dolla. 

 

Now what in retirement lends crickets.  Nuttin. Not one damn thing, as in, whadever in the heck we wanna.

 

Wanna? NO.  Damnit darnit!

 

Love, Victurd