Usedta coulda........

Push up, every morning - ten times!

Push up, starting low...

Once more on the rise, nuts to the flabby guys!

Go, you chicken fat go, go away!

Go you chicken fat go!

 

Can't no more.......

 

Take me out to the ballgame, take me out to the crowd,

Buy me some peanuts and cracker jacks, I don't care if I never get back  

 

Can't no more.......Well, I guess we can 'till 2031, then it'll be....

 

Take me out to the Hallmark, take me down(town) to the crown..

Buy me some ornaments and Christmas wrap

We wanted baseball (Ray), they gave us this crap? 

 

Usedta coulda... feel this way.  Don't no mo'....  oh, a tad mebbe.  Coulda, coulda been worse (Oracle Health Field...  JE Dunn dun' building another rebuild small market team..  Garmin, GPS Field "We'll get you to parking, and, home to Liberty, Lees Summit, Lenexa too."

 

Now I think it's kinda cool.  2031 ain't about me, us old folks.  It's about kids.  Hallmark has earned Kansas City's respect.  All we need is a drummer, for people who only need a beat... No, that ain't it.  All we need is a little chocolate, to make it a perfect Kansas City Smore... The Royals, Hallmark, and hey, why not, Russell Stover.  Besides, don't all Hallmark movies end happy?

 

Casey's.  Everyone loves Casey's.  WELL, NOMME.  OK, OK, at least the one in Fulton, Missouri.  You see.......My Granny's place..... where, as kids, we played wiffle ball... sat with Gramps on the front porch listening to Harry Caray's St. Louis Cardinal call "It' MIGHT be... it COULD be... It IS... a HOME RUN" on the transistor radio.  Victor?  What's this got to do with Caseys?  Hang on....

 

Granny's IS Christmas.  Presents stacked halfway to the ceiling around the tree.  Those liquid bulb thingys.. strewn tinsel and popcorn strung by us little turds..  Christmas carols for the ears, Granny's pies keeping warm on the living room gas-stove-furnace thingy for the nose.... Family.  20 or so of us packed in a bit smaller than average living room.  Who cares.  WE LIVED. WE LOVED.

 

But, then again.  NOW.  They tore that sucker down.  Granny's is a Casey's.  Oh Victor., say it ain't so!  So.

 

So. I gotta thinkin'.  My grands loved Fulton, Missouri. (Me too.)  My grands loved people, friends. (Eh, me too I guess!)...  WHAT BETTER THAN PEOPLE BEATIN' FEET IN, OUT..  Fillin' up their gas tanks, and, their bellies (pizza, chicken wings, drinks to warsh 'em down).. Folks saying "Hi neighbor, how ya doin?"  Granny Casey's.  Gotta nice ring to it.

 

And then................ what once was THE most wonderful childhood memory... the wiffle ball field in the front yard of the house I grew up in.. .............. To be continued:

 

Don't ya mess with my toot toot.  Don't ya mess with my toot toot.  When I was born the doctor slapped my behind, he said "You're gonna be special you sweet little toot toot."   Toot toot = Wiffle ball field.  Perfection.  Don't mess with it.

 

Well...........

 

Time did.

 

Years (and years) after driving by the place, the wiffle ball field we kids literally spent up to 8 hours a day....  In the years since... we'd drive by.. 
"Remember? First base was right over there... and.. the water meter is still there..  that was second base.. .  where the sidewalks "L".. third... and home plate.. .ten feet or so from the 'backstop', our screened in front porch where we hadta repair the screen a time or fitty ("Sorry dad!)...  and look.. there's a cute little sapling where the pitcher's mound usedta be!

 

Well, the years piled up.. as did the pounds around my belly.  The Wellbutrin for anxiety has helped...but...... I sometimes quote that spinach sucking feller, "I've had all I can takes and I can't takes no more!"..........

 

I CAN'T DO PUSHUPS EVER DAYUM MORNING. WE AIN'T GOTTA PLACE TO TAILGATE, toss the frisbee across twenty car lengths.. "Go deep Smitty" as we toss the football.... THE SMOKE FROM THE BEST BBQ IN THE US (Sorry Petula, no open fires when you are alone and life is making you lonely you can always go downtown, but keep yo' dayum matches in your purse)...  Easy in and outta the stadium as we ain't gotta wait for an hour on the tenth floor of some dayum parking garage... (TBC)...

 

Gramps!  Casey's ain't even gotta place out front to plug in your radio!  Baseball Ray, HELL, ya can't even see around the dayum tree in the middle'a the field to see the batter! And it's FORTY foot tall!

 

But it's ok. Memories are like love letters tucked away.  I can still do one push up, thankfully!  I can people watch the Royals..  Bark at the Mark just don't sound the same, yet, a wagging tail is a wagging tail.

 

Mebbe one day I'll even fetch my 250 lb capacity lawnchair (learnt the hard way)... mix up some lemonade... go sit in the front yard in the shade of the pitcher's mound, er, bigass tree... meet the new neighbors...

 

Hello Muddah... hello Fadduh..  Here I am at, Downtown BallMark...

Downtown's very, entertaining.  Even better, if we're winning......

Goal's to park and actually be in our seats by the third inning.

 

Wait a minute.. everyone's here now........

Bobby's swatting...  Wacha's wailing....

Playing baseball, gee that's better.........

If you look close Pasquatch's just above the railing.

 

Usedta coulda still fits in the back pocket.. and the backa the medulla oblongata..  I guess that little redheaded snotnose is right...  The sun has come out.

 

Excuse me Sonny, how much is onea them large Casey's pizzas?

 

Love, Victurd