Golden Acres and Oh the games people play now.............

Third day on the Job for new Activities Director Jennifer.  She'd graduated a semester early, one of them directional schools, forget which.. but she'd applied, was accepted/hired by Golden Acres, Smalltown, Missouri last week.

Proud she was, as the ink on her diploma was still wet... she had an itch on her ear, scratched it, and now she was literally and figuratively wet behind the ears.

Day 1, she couldn't decide between Bowling, Bingo and Where's Bambi, a new game she kinda liked.  Bowling, nope, figured it'd take too long to gather, setup the plastic pins each time - so it was out.  Bingo, they'd probably played since the first Bush was in office, that's a 'No' as well.

So........... it was close to Christmas, why not "Where's Bambi?"  

 "Ladies first.........." so all six of em were armed with Nerf guns... enough power, speed on 'em to make you holler "OUCH" but, even a direct hit couldn't, wouldn't be causation for another cataract surgery.

The dude, or, "Bucks", outnumbered (there's five of 'em) were given Antler hats and asked to run in and out, and around the Christmas Tree whilst the Annie Oakley's loaded, fired, and "WOOOO-WHOOOO'ED" whenever they scored a direct hit.

 "GOTCHA CHARLIE, TAKE A SEAT MATE!"......"OUCH!" Down goes Bernie..... Archie was fast, agile, and pretty much a fulltime womanizer..  "Missed me missed me, now ya gotta kiss me" as he ran up to Clara for a smooch as she was reloading....  "ARCHIE!" Jennifer admonished... so he ran back behind the tree.

TIMES UP!  Score, Oakley's two, Roy Rogers team, coming up to 'bat'.

They swapped.  Dudes in their chairs, ladies now all Antlered up.. .rarin' to run. "GO!" Jennifer hollered, then added, "Where's Bambi"... "I'll showya where Bambi is" Harvey hollered - they all knew "No way Jose", as Harv had pop bottle glasses, he'd be lucky to get a Nerf bullet within ten feet of 'em. 

For seven whole minutes, the Bucks loaded, aimed, fired..........missed.    Finally, "BOOMSHACKALACKALACKA, gotya Opal!"......... 2 to 1.  Approaching seven MORE minutes, Hank excused himself to go to the restroom, the bucks continued loading, aiming, missing.  They were in a rut, so to speak.

Finally, Mildred screams "YOU SONOFAB*TCH YOU HANK! YOU CHEATED!"  Jennifer was shocked.  Cussin' wasn't allowed, not since that knockdown dragout three years ago in Pinochle...   Bea seen Hank put a slingshot in his back pocket, "JENNIFER! HE CHEATED!"

Seems Hank, a Boy Scout, Boy Scout leader for life, had gone to his room, snatched his slingshot, "I'll show them" and now was in deep doggy do.

Game day #1 over.......................... Hank was given a warning, "Next time something like that happens, nope, you can't join in."  "Scouts honor, there won't be a next time" but, he laughed as he said it.

Day two.  WHACK-A-MOLE.  One afternoon after work, Jennifer took the company van to Nebraska Furniture Mart, went to the loading dock and begged for a dozen of them washer and dryer empty boxes.  Got 'em.  Loaded up, back to Golden, she cut holes in six of 'em big enough for heads to pop out... readied them in the rec area..............  "All gather."

Ladies again went first.  Men were given six foot long pool noodles.. the gals jumped inside the washer/dryer boxes... moved as fast as they could from one box to the next, popped their heads up, hoping not to be WHACKED as they did.  There was laughter, occasional "GOTYAS"..    Whistle blown...  SWITCH PLACES..... 

Archie, Harv, Hank, Ernie and Charlie jumped inside the boxes, now, the moles.  Ohhhhh the ladies had fun timing their whacks whenever a head popped up.."This is more fun than Chucky Cheese" barked Beaulah... Mildred had to pee... took her noodle with her... wasn't long after she'd returned Hank was screamin' bloody murder "DAMN YOU MILDRED!"...   Apparently, Mildred had grabbed a broom handle from the squatter, slid it inside the pool noodle, and more than repaid Hank for his slingshot assault on her.

Jennier ended the game a tad early... sweat dripping off her face by now.

Day three.  Insteada competition, she'd play a game where all would exercise at the same time, not any kind of contest.  The original, Hokey Pokey.

 All eleven of 'em circled up... she started the record player.........

You put your right foot in
You put your right foot out
You put your right foot in
And you shake it all about
You do the Hokey Pokey and you turn yourself around
That`s what it`s all about!

 

It wasn't a good start.  On the first "right foot in" three tennis ball walker and one cane went down.  Music stopped, but undaunted, she continued once they were all on their feet.

You put your left foot in
You put your left foot out
You put your left foot in
And you shake it all about
You do the Hokey Pokey and you turn yourself around
That`s what it`s all about!

 

Only lost two this time, and, none really hurt. Party on Garth.

You put your right hand in  MYRTLE FLIPPED ME OFF!
You put your right hand out   DID NOT!
You put your right hand in     DID TOO!
And you shake it all about
You do the Hokey Pokey and you turn yourself around
That`s what it`s all about!

You put your left hand in     ARCHIE GRABBED MY BUTT!
You put your left hand out     DID NOT!
You put your left hand in    DID TOO!
And you shake it all about
You do the Hokey Pokey and you turn yourself around
That`s what it`s all about! 

 

DAY 4.   Jennifer reflected, rethunk all she'd learned at Directional State U, grabbed the Pinochole cards...  Placed Myrtle, Hank AND Archie in time out in the lobby BEFORE the cards were dealt.....................................

 

Smooth sailing. Quiet.  Got along.   Back to their rooms they went, Jennifer walked to the Lobby to tell Myrtle, Hank and Archie they too could go back.

 

Uh oh.

 

They weren't there. Additionally, the Golden Acres van wasn't in it's normal Handicap spot.

 

Jennifer and the Floor Supervisor were able to GPS track the van, by now it appeared to be headed back into Golden Acres.  Come to find out, somehow Hank found a key... they'd swung by Smitty's Liquors... when they rolled back into Golden, Myrtle and Archie were in the second seat making out.... "YOU SAID SCOUT'S HONOR HANK!" "Yeah but had ma' fingers crossed behind my back."

 

Oh the games people play now.

 

Jennifer, who never joined a sorority or even attended a kegger at Directional State U, somehow found herself stopping in Smitty's three consecutive nights for a Bota Box....   She gave her two weeks notice, and even left a week early after she acquired  a behind the scenes job in Suburbia, Missouri in the HR Office of Shady Acres.

 

A little diddie, about Charlie, Bernie, Bea. Archie, Clara, Mildred, Hank, Beaulah, Myrtle, Opal and Harv.... older American kids doin' the best they can....  while they still could.

 

Love, Victurd