70

How old are you? Me? 70.

When I was born, FDR, A.A. Milne and Virginia Wolf were 70. I was too young to know anything.

When I was 10, Oliver Hardy, J. Paul Getty, Mary Pickford, Basil Rathbone and Pearl Buck were 70.  I think we probably rudely ingored them. All they did was sit in lawn chairs at ballgames, took naps and most assuredly never had sex, whatever that was.

When I was 20, Ray Kroc, Aunt Bea, Bobby Jones, Granny (Beverly Hillbillies) and Larry Fine were 70. I thought 70 year olds leaned a little bit, had a lifetime of sun, stood in the dugout leaning on the rail and spat tabacky.

When I was 30, Gene Kelly, Julia Child, Perry Como, Danny Thomas, Lady Bird, Karl Malden and Tonto were 70. I enjoyed 70 year olds then, quite a few years for them to have grown on me.

When I was 40, Betty White, Doris Day, Redd Foxx, Jack Klugman, Carl Reiner, Bea Arthur and Norman Lear were 70. 70 year olds were brilliant, our friend's parents, our schoolteachers, anyone who'd been on Carson a dozen or more times.

When I was 50, Johnny Cash, Elizabeth Taylor, Richard Dawson, Roy Scheider, Petula Clark, Debbie Reynolds and Omar Sharif were 70. Legends. Still able  to get big roles. The first group of 70 yr olds too young to serve in WWII. Admired them, their worth.

When I was 60, Aretha Franklin, Barbra Streisand, Harrison Ford, Carole King, Paul McCartney and Brian Wilson were 70. Again, admired, hell, in some cases they were our mad crush. They stood up to age well. Perhaps our classmates older siblings.

Now I'm 70, all I see are younger people. I hop on the motorzed cart at WallyWorld, turn left at the Pharmacy, right at toys and by gosh I ain't takin' my foot off the gas until I see someone older than me! Excuse me ma'am, what year did you graduate? jk.

Our friends, of course, are 70. We take frequent naps, and we remember sex. Now, if we watch TV or catch a Netflix episode and we have a crush, we're "creepy." OK, I give in, no more crushes,  push ups, laps run, jumping jacks, and we should probably stay away from spicy foods, or at least be near the bathroom if we do. 

There ain't no more library cards, cars that still run that had 8 track players. The hell is USB, that funny looking Q-something square we're supposed to scan, WHAT? You DON'T take CASH? The hell, I WANT MY MOMMY!

We lean a little now, closer to (VICTOR SHHH!)...OK. 

There are less of us. Yearly, monthly and even weekly of late. That rapidity will escalate from here on out.

Sure, that's sad, but I kinda like how, over the years, the more and more 70 yr olds became revered. Adored even. Admired. Why hell, we can puff our chests out, gals put on your greatest support bra, guys, pull yer bellies in if possible.

The ride ain't over. Oft we are asked wouldya do it all over, if so, what wouldya do different?

I wouldn't wanna do it all over. Oh sure, mistakes I've made a few                 thousand.

What I would do is not be in such a hurry to be old enough to play little league...drive....vote....be 21.... run thru the molasses of Monday thru Friday...age 65...

I'd go slower. Aside from getting me used to '70 slow', I'da paid more attention. Hugged a little tighter, longer...................and chased all them damn crushes when it wasn't creepy!

Love, Victurd 

ImPo'tent, so to speak......

An opED, but no, not that.

Old dog, new tricks? Nah, not really. Moreso, awakening, again I guess you could say....

Much, on social media upsets.  I still, occasionally, show my hiney.  Thankfully, I spilt Coke (ok dangit, beer) on the keyboard of my laptop, and my B and N no longer function.  (Using 'onscreen keyboard' one-letter at a time for this which makes blogging virtually impossible, YW), and, showing my hiney in retort, less frequent, TYVM Victor, YW.

Silent Night. I'm VERY slowly learning from wise folks who NEVER EVER show their hiney here. I wish I could name names, I shouldn't, just know, we all have friends who fit that mold, we LOVE them, and we so admire you, your wisdom.

Christmas is kinda like a selfie where ya got those barely visible, transparent images reflecting that literally make life rewarding.

Objects like family.. Oh, we (and they, I'm sure) may occasionally think 'What?'... 'Why?' and every once in awhile 'Are you serious? Crazy?' - but, by golly there ain't no better hug, no better smile, no better audible "I love you!", no better comfort, relaxation.

Friends, in that reflection. What would, could we do without friends? I'm finding, the longer you've known someone, the more times ya just simply smile at one another not really saying anything (whenya silently really are.)  Friends are the spices, herbs, desserts to the meal of life. 

Pets. Pets lend the loyalty of that missing loved one. They serve in the role of friend, loved one. They are attentive when many in life may not be.

Coworkers. Sure your hand may be forced, but the next thing ya know they jump on that reflextion of friend, loved one, and even sometimes relative!

The reflection of those once there. Now, an empty chair? Oh contrare, you are wth us in every way but the physical. TV shows, songs on the radio, the resemblance we see/hear in those who came after. You're there in the picture on the wall, the ornament on the tree, the aroma from the kitchen on the recipe you handed down. We 'see' you there, in our prayer, and we speak to you in our dreams.

We need you Christmas, but you knew that.

The jingles, the bells, the travels, the perils. The wrapping, the waiting, the hark, the herald, and of course the carols.

Red, green, bright lights, , turkey, mashed pataters, pecan pie to die for. The whole Christmas spread, a sight for sore eyes...yes please, I'll have another, who cares about the belly, the thighs.

On Dasher, on Prancer, on Ralphie, on Clark. Family love, yes even you cousin Eddie, pass the green beans, where's the confetti?

Sure Mr. Grinch, Ebenezer too... Rudolph, the Elves, can't forget, the Mrs...and that jolly guy, of course Mr Claus....

All, great reason for thanks and a pause...

Merry Christmas everyone, it's a most, wonderful time, of the year....

Love, Victurd

Kid stuff.......

Imagine if you will - in your office at work - 27 'workers' walking in all at once... bebopping (that's fancy for bouncing up and down as they walk)... smiling...  all.... 54 eyeballs gazed upon you, all in somewhat of a row - all thinking, "I'm really happy, I wonder how this 'boss' is gonna make me happier.?"

I never realized how lucky I was.

Forty pounds ago and thirty-plus years ago I taught Elementary PE.  I never, at least until maybe now, realized how lucky I was.

Tweren't because of me - it was because of them.

Kids teach, yeah they do.

They give you their all. You ever manage people?  You ever have a workforce full of folks that put 100% of their trust in you?  You are their everything, and in that moment, their only thing.  I think that's called loyalty.  (Remember, they teach.)

We, those entrusted to stand at the head of the class - ain't gots no idea what's gone on in their day. Single parent?  Being raised by Grandma?  Lost a parent?  Wearing the same outfit they had on yesterday?  Did they get breakfast?  Was their electricity, gas, recently turned off?  Did their jacket match the temperature? (Were they even wearing one?)

All those unknowns, yet, there they were, 27 of 'em, already to have decided "I'm going to have a happy, smiley, day."

I left education for all the wrong reasons. (Imagine if you will, walking away from that scenario to go load suitcases on airplanes for $15K more per year.)  Of course teachers need to be paid more - but this ain't about that.

This is about us being in good hands for tomorrow.  Sure, we hear about the Johnnys and Julies that are 30-something, living in their folk's basement playing video games (again and again.) For every one of those - there are a kajillion well behaved, well meaning, GOOD HEARTED little ones pointed in the right direction.

We adults - we have our "It can't be Monday already"... Our "Hump Day" (thankfully we're halfway there)... our TGIF...  our "IT'S THE WEEKEND!"...   Our, "are we there yet are we there yet" (Retirement age.)  A perty ugly cycle with the main theme of "oh woe is me."

Not kiddos.

Breaktime at work.  Ya ever see old farts breakneck out the door to run, scream, yell, bebop, whoop, hop, jump, tag, chase, suck up everything in life good there is to suckup?  Me neither.  Recess is like that though.

Then, we go home and we adult.  Literally, placing children in the backseat.  We are the ones making the bucks, thus, we, by nature, get all busy purchasing the rewards for ourselves.  Not all, of course, but most.  Children, feel slighted?  Nope, they still got that smile on their face.  Their look of loyalty, devotion, unending love.

A dozen donuts in a box on an office table.  Of course I'm grabbing one. If they ain't looking, I'm gonna grab another.  Back to recess.  Recess duty in fact. Recess duty is where you find the child, the child that very very rarely gets to walk into QT with mom or dad and buy a bag of Skittles.  When they do though, the next day at recess, they tap you on the shoulder, say your name and proudly hand you the mostly melted last three Skittles that were in the bag they'd been saving for you.  Children teach.

This past year I've been able to witness a little man, he's 6 I think. His father was killed in an accident when he was still in his mom's belly. For me, that would be akin to a 'get out of jail card free' if I chose to live in a crappy mood every day.  I'd be 'ok' to walk around asking "Why me?" whenever I wanna.  If anyone has 'earned' the right to lead a bitter life - it is he.  Except, he's remarkable.  You cannot, willnot wipe the smile of life off his face.

I've observed, in the last few years, children attending their 7th school district in three years.  If that were me, I probably wouldn't talk to anyone at school for ten years for fear of one day assuredly 'losing them', ie, moving on again. Not the kids I saw. They adapt.  They are remarkable.  They teach.

A very close friend shares "my kids are really well educated, well intended, but, my 8 year old granddaughter is 'the adult' in their family."

Children, are they perfect?  Of course not, they're HUMAN, but... what wonderful little humans they are!

Bend 'em, shape 'em, still, they come outta the wash unscathed.  Undaunted.  Happy.  Loyal. Loving.  Giving.

I am pretty sure it was Andy Williams who once said "It's the most wonderful time of the year."

It is said be kind, be nice, we never know what a fellow adult is going thru. Same with kiddos.

Of course this ain't a lecture - it's more to remind ourselves to try to match their unbridled enthusiasm, smile for smile, mile for mile.  Children are simply incredible human beings, we owe it to them for us to attempt to be so as well - and it's just a guess, but also a pretty safe bet, we'd be much better off for it too.

I love the picture of the puppy running thru the gate and it's entitled "Live life like they left the gate open."

In our case, maybe they left the door open and we can all "Live the day like they left the gate open and it's recess time!"

Merry Christmas and Happy Bebopping - it's the most wondeful time of the year...

Love, Victurd

Life has learnt me.....

Not everyone will like you.

Not everyone will dislike you.

Never hold your pizza box like school books (vertically).

Boogers happen.  All they are is dust in the wind.

Pavlov should never be allowed to rescue or foster, ding.

Some like it hot, some like it cold.  The lucky ones find cause for smile in either.

Sugar in the morning, sugar in the evening, sugar at suppertime, then, sit on a wall, have a great fall, they'll never be able to put you back together again.

To double your money, fold it in half. (Thanks Granny.)

We ALL will get an itchy itchy rash, cry help, I've fallen and I can't get up, step on a nail, a Lego, a snail [barefoot], your dog's tail, the gas, others (with intent), others (without intent.) in gum, dog poop,

Some people smell......... really good.  Really bad.  Like smoke. Like alcohol.  Like a rat.

The longer one is alive, the quicker we are to 'turn the channel' on something, someone, we don't like.

Blood IS thicker than water, but it too will freeze, boil, say stupid stuff, but also give reason to look forward to the day, the week, the month, the year, life.

Life can be whittled down to a shoe store.  We will never be able to see the view from all of the shoes within. Time will happen when you need steel toe shoes but ain't got 'em on.  Time will happen where you do things that your really know better than to do, and even if you're wearing sneakers, people will find out.  It's hard to find a good fit.  We all get measured.  Some are narrower, wider, longer, shorter than others.  Like poo poo, all feet will eventually stink.

It takes leather balls to play rugby. (That was for you JC, may you RIP.)

Pretending and make believe doesn't end with childhood. Everyone occasionally fakes it, yes, even us men. (Most, occasionally have a dirty mind.)

It's a different day and age.  Jeans now resemble Demolition Derby's. Usedta be, once a year, Marcel would come take your picture. Kids nowadays can't do anything without being on camera. Phones.  Ring doorbells. Security cameras. Facetime. Zoom.  GoPros, you name it, they snap it. They even Snap your chats.

Usedta be just when Lizzie Borden came around. Now, everyone gets hacked.

You 'SOMEBODY'?  Valedictorian?  PERFECT ACT Score?  Come see us when your time is coming and tell us you never ever forgot your UserID/password.

Interest is interesting. Love interest. Simple interest. Compound interest. Disinterest, datinterest. Of life, of people, of situation, Arte Johnson (Wolfgang) perhaps summed it up best, "Verry interesting."

Do something that someone doesn't agree with, some will say "That's it, never again will you get a chance with me." Most, I believe, will give a second chance. Grandparents and Wordle players give a minimum of six.

We'll probably never acquire all we want, but we're blessed in having what we need.

Relationships.  Wow, that's a blog for another day.  Some get it just right like Goldilocks.  There are 'stories' like Cinderella/Prince Charming, George/Gracie, Jimmy/Rosalynn, Jimmy/Mrs. Calabash, Ellen/Portia, Goldie/Kurt, John/Yoko, Johnny/June, Oprah/Stedman, Fred/Ethel, Barney/Betty, Fred/Wilma....even some we know.  You know who they are.  They're lucky, BUT, they work at it, deserve it.  Some of us, get it right, for awhile. Enjoy 'while' you got it.  

Even though it's said it's 'like riding a bike', in real life, one day we won't be able to. Sadly, everything ends.

Life's a gas.  Everyone farts. Pass it on.

Love, Victurd

Christmas Island.......

Aloha ay.. aloha ay... aloha oha ay...  Sing it Leon!

How'dja like to spend Christmas on Christmas Island?
How'dja like to spend the holiday away across the sea?
How'dja like to spend Christmas on Christmas Island?
How'dja like to hang a stocking on a great big coconut tree?

Oh gee I dunno Leon.   I love my easy chair, that I do.

"You'll shoot your eye out."  No, that ain't it.  I mean "You'll get sand in your buttcrack."  Eww.

How'd you like to stay up late like the islanders do?
Wait for Santa to sail in with your presents in a canoe
If you ever spend Christmas on Christmas Island
You will never stray for everyday your Christmas dreams come true

Stay up late?  Hell, that last time I saw the ball drop on Times Square I think Nixon was in office.  

In a canoe? No reindeer?  LEON! That's worse than the self checkout at WallyWorld!

Dreams come true?  64 year old blonde, rich, divorced, hard of hearing, doesn't speak English?  Never happen.

How'dja like to spend Christmas on Christmas Island?
How'dja like to spend the holiday away across the sea?
How'dja like to spend Christmas on Christmas Island?
How'dja like to hang a stocking on a great big coconut tree?

The temps would be nice... coconut tree?  No pine needles to vacuum? Then again, I'd have to microwave 3 tons of popcorn to string up that whole tree.  What if a coconut fell and landed on a grandkid Leon?  I'm kinda fond of Christmas trees that have a more bottom heavy shape like me.

How'd you like to stay up late like the islanders do?
Wait for Santa to sail in with your presents in a canoe
If you ever spend Christmas on Christmas Island
You will never stray for everyday your Christmas dreams come true.

Well, I don't have covered parking here.  I hate longsleeves, pants. I suppose it might be OK if the women wore less.  I wouldn't have to fly would I?  Checking all the presents as baggage might cost more than the presents themselves Leon. Elevators?  I don't do well on elevators.

I'm a ginger, could I get sunburn in December? (Life was traumatic as a child at the community pool when it was me, only, wearing a t-shirt.)

I wonder if Gilligan, the Professor and Mary Ann enjoyed it?

I do like pina coladas, not fond of getting caught in the rain, not a fan yoga, I have MAYBE half a brain... Makin' love at midnight in the dunes of the Cape? (Do they have pharmacies?)

All in all, it is tempting, but I'll probably stay here Leon.

It all comes down to that bottom line. (Sand in the buttcrack.)  That would be grinding.

Love, Victurd

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SmAx-sxtMvQ

Silence is Golden.....

Rag Doll......

Rag Doll was written in 1964 by Bob Crewe and Bob Gaudio of the Four Seasons.  It was released on a 45 as "The A-Side", and on the B-side, "Silence Is Golden."  Silence is Golden speaks from the shoes of a jolted lover.

That, ain't what this is about (although many might play shrink and ask "Are you sure?")

I love the four lines of this song that are:

Silence is golden
But my eyes still see
Silence is golden, golden
But my eyes still see

I didn't do much digging, but, the Four Seasons version must notta gone anywhere.  Three years later, the British band The Tremeloes released it, and it went bonkers (good.), sold millions, voted one of the best songs of 1967 - they even recorded an Italian version.

Therein lies the (or maybe my) problem.  I don't know if there was much "Damnit, that ain't fair" or "How could they" from the Four Seasons, mighta been, ain't sure - this much i know, I woulda shown my ass (sorry) and blabbed those questions.

I recently read something that I labeled as really, really arrogant.  Victor (that's me) wanted to stick my damn head inside the computer screen and holler "you are WAY too fulla yourself!"  I didn't, but I sureashell felt it.

While I sure admit to speaking/typing/lashing out to what I deem 'ugly', this time I didn't - and it's all the 'fault' of so many I respect like crazy.  Those that NEVER show their ass, you NEVER see their names in conflict (especially when there ain't no need for conflict) and I truly admire that/them.  I wish I could name names - but that wouldn't be fair to them.

I'll name one name, and only because I don't know him.  As a HUGE University of Missouri fan, it kinda sorta burns my butt to say his name, because he's a former KU football coach.  That said, I really, really respect what this man said, thus, I hold him in high esteem. (This blog, potentially used as fodder for my friends that are KU fans, will self destruct in two minutes.)

Mark Mangino, the former KU football coach (highly successful), there was a really really cool article about him in the KC Star a few years back.  He was a very stern coach who got results. That same sternness in part probably led to him eventually resigning at KU.

I know I've used what he said before in a blog so apologies because of repetitiveness, still, the message (to me at least) is beautiful.  "Talk less, listen more."

Again, remember (KU fans) this blog will self destruct in two minutes after i post it - but, Mark's wife was diagnosed with breast cancer.  She (and his entire family, kids/grandkids) mean the world to him.  One day she had a chemo treatment and insisted she go alone.  It was tough for him, but he let her.  Later, she called in distress because clumps of her hair were falling out.  Pacing the floor, not knowing what to do, he grabbed a razor and shaved his own head in support of her for when she same home.  “I expected her to be crying and everything, and she said, ‘You look terrible,’” Mangino recalled, laughing. “‘Why’d you do that?’”

Mark worked on himself in several ways.  He's a very large man, he lost 100+ pounds (ahm, Victor, maybe make a note of that?)   Of course he did it for his own health, but mainly because he wants to see his grandkids grow up.

I've got a buddy that brags (is proud, that sounds better) of how many paperbacks he's read this year.  It ain't me babe.  Gimme the Sport's page, 2 eggs scrambled, sausage patties, breakfast potatoes (fried), wheat toast and I can read, read, read the Sport's page fo'ever.  Amazes me, how much one can learn from reading the Sport's page, my take anyways.

Mark went on to detail folks that made an impact in his life.  His HS football coach, an ole blood and guts type - "he taught me toughness". One his favorite sayings he remembers his coach telling he and the football team "If you're waiting for your ship to come in, forget it, you've got to swim out to it."

He was an assistant at a small college.  Before one particular game, he remembers going over his notes "If they do this, we'll do that.... but if they do this, what will i do?"  About that time he looked over at his head coach and he was in the corner praying.  He (Mark) was admittedly young and his reaction was "well that's kinda foolish, is that going to help us pickup the blitz?"

Bottomline, my deduction is, thanks Mark, there's hope then that I ain't too old to learn.  I will try to remember the kind of September, oops, no, that ain't it, try to remember all these lessons, but mainly, to LISTEN MORE, TALK LESS.

I am a horrible cook.  In life, and sometimes in the kitchen, I show my ass and try to fix everything.  I struggle remembering I can't. I struggle thinking "How can they think, act like that?"  Well, we talked kitchen/cooking, all of us have different likes.  Maybe what comes off as arrogance to me might be a sign of wonderful confidence to another. (I still get to hate oysters though.)

Silence is golden
But my eyes still see
Silence is golden, golden
But my eyes still see

Hat's off (to see Mark's head) and, to commend my friends who ya never see at the 'smoke tree'.  HUH?  Ya gotta be from Liberty, MO (and old school) to unnerstand that one.

I am human, imperfect, hear me ROAR.......... hopefully after I've listened awhile.

Peace out.......... Victurd

Opposite........

It's common knowledge I've got a big keyboard, ie, mouth i guess.  While i usually played right field in softball (that's where they stick 'the liability') I love 'coming from leftfield', ie, agin' the norm.

An ex sister inlaw just asked me..  (Before I go into that, lemme preface by saying we now call each other 'outlaws', still, I hope I made her feel good when I told her she's STILL in the Top 150 of my favorite people.  Truth is, I think we love each other like siblings, we actually did a blood brother/blood sister thing once... she was all sentimental, I was like "eh OK, let's do it." KIDDING, but we really did do that.

Anyways, she asked me what I'm thankful for............ I nicely chastised her by stating "Don't ever ask someone that like to write to "Tell me", but, I told her what I'm thankful for.

Well.

This ain't about that.

This is about what I could do without.  As I age, that list grows exponi.... exponitsh... exponishial.. it grows a lot.

THINGS I COULD DO WITHOUT:

40 pounds........  wrinkles..... a car without collision insurance in rut season..  sushi/fish/yes, crustaceans too,....   mayo, relish, most green veggies, salad dressing, avocados, anchovies, many, many kinds of foods, I am picky.

S'MORE I COULD DO WITHOUT:

People being aghast about what I won't eat (why do they care?)....    KU Jayhawk fans (not all, many though)... .ear hairs...  shoelaces...  checkenginelights...  flat tires...  all the crap that's in my trunk on top of the spare tire...  

Week old bananas..  apartment neighbors (nice people, just wish they didn't live here)...   tailgaters...  redlight runners...  people going at stop signs when it clearly ain't their turn....

Sentences that start with "I mean"...what about the next time they say a sentence and they don't preface it with that?  Do they mean what they're about to say?  I mean, really!

I mean S'MORE I COULD DO WITHOUT:

acid reflex.... loose stools (hey, it's my blog!)...  whenever in conversation in a group and someone says "I've got to go pee"... (Just shoot me, it's ALWAYS women)....

The whole your/you're, their/there thing, and lacking knowledge of same.

People who have a real hard time smiling.  In fact, next time it happens, I think I'm gonna ask "Can I tickle you?"

Afflictions, ailments, diseases.

The #2, 3, 4 and 5 starters for the Kansas City Royals.  Can't Singer start every game?  Royal batters who take strike three when it's right down the middle.

Hate, prejudice, uppityness..  

Electric car windows that break and can be fixed for 'only $900.'  Headlights on old Caddys that go out that cost $100 for the lamp and $200 to put it in (I ain't kiddin.)

BO.

Chained up dogs (unless there is no fenced yard, the dog can run around a bit, and it's a short term thing).

A 40 hour job.  Pages 2, 3 & 4 of the Kansas City Star which speak to shootings, car accident deaths, national and world disaster.

Hearing the name Don Dinkinger again.

Could do with worrying about people that seemingly don't enjoy life............. but I do worry.

Cliques (they're still a thing, I pray I'm not guilty.)

Commercials (most).

Most hound dog commands.  Sure, we need "C'mere" and "Down" when they jump on guests, but who gives a rats how hard they pull on the leash when you walk, they're excited!  Who cares if they walk in-step with you?  I, for one, don't care.   I love that a 9 pound dog can pull me up a small hill.

Demonstrated lack of respect for mankind, womankind.

Mean people.  They suck.

Cable bill increases.  Gas company increases.  Understand everything increases, but, these companies do it with all too much frequency.

I don't mind a good political discussion now and then, but, when that's the only thing a person lives, breathes for, "I'm like, Did you see the Chief's game?  Those yoga pants? That dog video on Facebook?"

Speeders in school zones. (I'm about done)

That many give up on relationships way too easily.

Most insects, for sure racoons, venomous snakes.

Bloggers who go on and on and on and on.

From leftfield,

Love, Victurd