Give me a break......

 Give me a break, break me off'a piece'a that Kit Kat bar.......

I love dogs, I REALLY REALLY do. You throw a tennis ball, they bring it back. You grab a leash and head towards the front door - they're like a kid who's just been told "Santa came, it's time to get up." As disgusting as it probably is, given where their tongues in all likelihood have been, it still even provokes a smile when the hound doggy licks one's face.....

But then......

But then......

If they get off their leash, it is LITERALLY a dog-eat-dog world.  Ever eat a pine tree?  Ever break up a dogfight? A dog bite feels a hunnerd and ninety four times worse than a wasp sting.  Sixty four times worse than accidentally snapping that mouse trap on your pinky when you place a slice'a cheese in there.  DOGS HATE OTHER DOGS (most anyways.)

THAT........

THAT reminds me of the political ads.  

THAT (dog-eat-dog-world) reminds me of politicians.  Off their leash. "While on my leash, I'll smile big and wide like I just got my chops cleaned by that dental hygienist, BUT, when I get all gussied up for my political ad, I will bite you, claw you, speak so evilly about you that folks might wanna put you in jail.  Then, I add my name to it and say yeah, that was me, I approve that."

THAT............ sucks.  Like a dogfight.  120 days of 'em.

We (those of us running for office) ARE really, really good, nice, fun, honest, for-the-good-of-all-mankind (and woman-kind) BUT, for a hunnerd and twenty days we're gonna throw the GD (Gosh Darn) Golden Rule out the wind'er.

Give me a break.

Give me a break.

Break me off a piece'a that Kit Kat Bar.

I don't care if its "I've got an itchy itchy rash..."  That guy on the Progressive commercials who dictates 'no fun' into the lives of Progressive employees...  Hell, I'll even take Vinson Mortgage ads (if you ain't from KC, just know it's the worst gosh awful voice you'll ever hear.)

Putt putt me to the Pizza Hut.  Plop plop fizz fizz, I'll even trade having heartburn, acid reflex if you stoppy the political dog-eat-dog ads.

You deserve a break today, (We all do.)

The best part of waking up is the day after, no matter if your blue wasn't blue enough, or red, not red enough.

I don't wanna grow up (if, once I turn 18, I've gotta listen to that crap for years and years to come,)

Save the poitical ads.  Heck, even if you're that KC Siding company that gives outstanding discounts for me letting you put the long, seamless, perfect length pieces of siding on the front and sides of the house in exchange for me allowing you to put small pieces (3', 5', 8', 12', mixed) all across the back of the house, DO IT..  I'll take my lawn chair out and watch ya work.  I'll CALL NOW.

"Wrecking our schools...  ruining our hospitals and threatening your families... there'll be violence, bloodshed and death... BOTH SIDES!  In Sunny Cali one D_______ strategist admitted (in a D vs D race) "it's a race to the bottom.  It's turned into a derby about who can accuse the other of being the most extreme. That's not a healthy debate to have."  Hell to the yeah, Meow-meow-meow-meow, you tell 'em, I'll pat ma' paw!

I want my baby back baby back baby back, CHILI's baby back ribs (and, ALL my fun commercials!)

I'd like to teach the world to sing............ and love..... and hold hands in church, with , 'the other guy'.. and smile, and hug, and well wish.

THERE ARE ENOUGH stressers (divorce, illness, money, lack thereof, pain, addiction, bad bosses, layoffs, hang-nails (hell yeah, they hurt!).. THE TOE.. cleaning around the coffee table and you try to snap the little toe off of your foot... YEOOOOWWWWWWWWWW.  That stuff.  We've enough of it.  We're filled to the gills with anti-anxiety meds, blood pressure testers, meds, recreational goodies for those that live in recreational goody States.......  We no needy you to contribute MORE to all the stuff we already gotta deal with.

Of course I like me, but during those political ads I wish I was an Oscar Mayer Weiner. mebbe even a Five Dollar Foot Long.....

I wanna take a trip...  SEE THE USA IN MY CHEVROLET........ with Nationwide on my side..... I wanna be, all that I can be...... pull over to the side'a the road and have two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame see bun. Mebbe some chocolate with nuts, as, sometimes I feel like a nut.... I've got the time, Miller's got the beer.. Beer after beer.

THE ELECTION IS OVER and we didn't even have to call Roto Rooter, that's the name, and away go troubles down the drain.....

Roto Rooter! (you thought I forgot that part didn't you?)

I guess though... if it's only every couple'a years we can put up with it.  We can still turn off the TV, radio... go outside.. visit with someone, like a good neighbor. The twins down the street (double your pleasure, double your fun)... 

Life, it's gotta be fun and it's gotta be sweet.

Heck, I might even go out on a date...... I'm at my best with Maybelline... but..  every kiss begins with Kay.  (VICTOR, leave Sara Lee OUT of the conversation!)  Ok, but... nobody does it like (VICTOR!)

Whew, they're over.  We made it.

Think Ill go down a Miller Lite.  (TASTE GREAT!..  nope, LESS FILLING!)  STOP PLEASE!

Ok, ok, ok, I'll take the dog for a walk.  But, Fido... oh Fido.. if you get off the leash, you're on your own.  It's a dog-eat-dog world out there.

By Henry Gibson.......... (Forward by Sandy Koufax, the best from the left there ever was.. and Cy Young, the best from the right there ever was.)

Love, Victurd