Fit....

Google, or was it Bing, told me "486 Synonyms and Antonyms of FIT"...

Suffice.. Suit.. Do.. Serve.. Befit.. Fit the bill.. Satisfy..  Correspond.. Conform.. Coincide.. Agree.. Consist.. Harmonize.. Check. Match.. Comport.. Align.. Jibe.. 

Clothes.  Damnit darnit it can be hard.  It's a hunnerd degrees out, but now all the stores gots long sleeve junk on their racks.  But I need a new swimsuit.  "We'll have 'em in February sir." 

I gained weight.  Let's see, this drawer for size 36 shorts, the one below, no, make that above, too hard to stoop, 38.  Nexta top drawer 40.  Top drawer 42.  Them drawers are too big, I needta lose weight. To heck with it.  I know, I'll put all the ones that don't fit in this plastic bag here and keep until I'm 86 or so, they'll fit by then. Oh to hell with it, I'll keep 'em in the trunka my car for a year and a half, then I'll drop 'em off at the Thrift Store.

Lost weight.  Damnit darnit.  Hammer, nail, new hole in belt so short'sll fit, ie, I won't look like a sagger or a plumber. Now I gotta go BACK to the Thrift Store to buy ma'  duds back.  

Puzzle.  Puzzles are like life, kinda.  Ya starts with that Big Chief tablet (ya line up all the pieces of the puzzle that gotta straight edge), Ya do the basics, readin' writin' rithmatic', finally form the square all around the puzzle while it sits awatin' you to fill the innards. My luck there's always 642 pieces of the 1,000 pc puzzle that are blue sky, same color, like life, howinthehell do I do this?

Band camp. One of the places I worked. (Say, did I ever tell you where all I've worked?  PLEASE DON'T VICTOR).  Well heck, I was just lookin' for the right fit.  Maybe I'll tellya when you ain't havin' a fit, about all the differnt jobs I had looking for the right fit. Which, reminds me of relationships, but, that's a story for a whole nuther decade.

Ahem, one of the places I worked.  HR had heap big good idea.  Take a picture of our building, right there in Big Ole letters, the name of our company on it... mail it off to "Make me a dadgum puzzle outta this pic wouldya?".. make it 138 pieces, 'cause that's how many we fit into all these cubicles. We'll learn 'em a lesson about cohesiveness (was that onea them synonyms for fit?), working together, 'weaving' our future. I been in the right place. Then, once the 'make me a dadgum puzzle outta this pic' company forwards the puzzle, we'll hand out the 138 pieces to all the differnt employees, top to bottom (don't tell 'em we rank 'em like that) then.......... we'll reserve a fancy ole spot somewhere in the middlea all the cubicles, and next week we'll have everone take, place their puzzle piece on the wall where it fits.

Worked.  Kinda.  Monday, kinda could see the outline.  Tuesday, more pieces than not. Wednesday, lookin' perty good. Thursday, "We gotta few that been sick this week, give it anudder day", Friday. One. One spot left. One puzzle piece that ain't there. HR put out a memo looking for the last piece. Boss said  "Oh heck, give it till Monday." Monday came.  Huh uh.  Then Wednesday came. Nope. Still a hole. Don't fit that 'we' can't do it.  We get to Friday, boss a hollerin' "HR, this is the worst idea since those ad guys at Bud Light."  Never showed up. Bitter rarely fits, but, I gotta good laugh about it.  Us rebels that worked there, "kinda symbolic of the place." There's a hole in my bucket, Dear Liza dear Liza.

I know, let's talk about the fit in online dating.  They still do that?  Too far, too big, small, talks funny, it just 'ain't there', I really like that one but then, crickets.  She musta not liked me. This one won't leave me alone. I dunno. This kinda works, but a whole new life of family, cities, udder kids, quirks, night owls, early risers, two blankets, nuh uh, nakey on toppa the sheets, howinthehell am I sposedta sleep when you got the bedside lamp on to read? And why does that dog 'tween us growl when I reach over for a kiss? 

"The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and to not twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them."  Thomas Merton.

I hearya Tom, but man, dat datin's a lotta work, expense, stressy, hard to start over.  I think maybe I'll withdraw from the Match.com thingy, I fit in my easy chair quite nicely. OK, you're right, I lap over a bit here and there, but mostly, a good fit. 

Fit, as in throw one.  Some gots perty quick temper. A life of dukes up. Others, you can shake rattle and roll and they won't get mad. Reckon we're all somewhere inbetween. Someone useda a line I like once, "Let's pretend I'm irate, I'm not, but let's pretend." Kinda fits me.  Lessin', lessin' it's about arrogance (fitooey), discrimination (BF... that's akin to BS.. BullFit!), folks that were once a kid but now all grown up and get aggervated by children.  That stuff.  That stuff bugs me.

Fits.  As in snug as a bug in a rug. I had a friend in hospice. A lifelong friend called one day to check on her. "Snug as a bug in a rug." I loved that. Loved her. Good people have a nice way of fitting in one's life. They enhance it, us, life. Heart. Soul. Love, all.

Niche. Life = fit = niche.  Cowboy boots and Wranglers.  Nope, Harley for me. I'd rather wear a suit, shorts, skirt, skort, yoga pants, baggies, pj's, provocative junk, modest outfits, goth, now where'd I put my neon eyeliner.... I wanna be a baseball player, preacher, teacher, accountant, nurse, artist, writer, gamer, IT dude, engineer, truck driver, clerk, secretary, cop, work from home, travel, see the world, stay in my little ole town the resta my life. Niche, fit. Life.

The grandson of a really cool Grandpa I know.  He's in a way, like his grandpa.  5th grade, another new school, this is a recording of the past several years thru no fault of his own.  Hard.  Hard to fit in. First day of school. What'd ya think?  I didn't like it, but, I know I gotta do it.  Fancy for, give it a few weeks, being the new kid is tough.  He'll fit in. There are times in life we go from ostracized. to the middlea fun, can't wait, as in Koolaid Koolaid, can't wait, which I had some, can't wait.

Wrap it up Victor.  Eh?  A fitting end?  Fit to be tied? Fitbit. Physical Fitness (what's that?). Fit as a fiddle. Fit for a King. Fit to stand trial. Fit to serve. Fit for life.

I like that one.  Fit for life. Life is all about fits, or not. Just ask Mr. Potato Head. Johnny Jigsaw. Goldilocks. Round peg, square hole. Opposites attract.  George and Gracie.  Sonny and Cher. Cher and somebody else and else. Carson, Leno, Letterman, Colbert.  Band camp.  One time, Wally Pipp gotta headache. Some guy named Lou Gehrig replaced him that day, year, decade, fo'er.

Today, I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the Earth. Lou said that. Bad things happen to good people. It don't fit.  Good people save us.  They fit. They know just the right things to say (fit.) How to be a role model (fit.) Humility (fit.) 

I'm off.  Shave, shower.  'Fit'ness' fat into my drawers. Breakfast. First I gotta weigh. I been trying. No, I'll never get fit. Cutting back on carbs, sugars, NO, I will not, cannot, won't give up beer. Don't fit. Let's just call it my, a, niche.  After I weigh, if the news is good, no gain, or baby loss, THEN, maybe just then I'll fit two pancakes in my trap. (Tweren't long ago, in a fitting room of all places, full length mirror.  Holy guacamole. Victor, you GOTTA do sumpin. Trying.)

I hope good things fit into your life, day, month, year, for your beneFIT, so to speak. 

It's only fitting.

Love, Victurd