This may floor you, but I'd originally intended to plant my fingers on words, letters, having to do with 'floor'. The cobwebs in my brain thought about seeing Elvis's shag carpeting at Graceland.. how much, at this age, getting down on the floor is a pain in the ying yang.
I wondered about "Going down?" and whatever happened to the elevator operators of the land. Carpet, tile, laminate, slip sliding away, dirty floor, dirt floor, Bubba Gump floors, how, a buddy of mine, his spouse and his 90-something year old mother lived on the 8th floor down on the Plaza, their power went out, thus, no elevator (Makes a trip to the Piggly Wiggly ALL the workout one would need in a day, or, for me, a month mebbe.)
Then, I remembered in a Hotel, going on an elevator where you punched a button from the outside, say, 17, and when you got inside there were no other buttons (other than 'in case of emergency') and presto, you zipped right on up to the 17th foor.
Then, I remembered how very much I am a simpleton. I once got on an elevator, headed to the 17th (or similar)... mighta even been from the 17, going down, I forget. Anyways, some 'presumed' snotnose had punched every damn button there was... my elevator trip took me about as long to get down (or up, I forget) as my usual 30 minute or so car commute from Liberty to Grandview. As I reflect, why the hell didn't I get off, get on another elevator is beyond me, and maybe I even did, I don't remember, but I know I made quite a few stops.
Then, I remembered the expression "You ain't got the sense God gave a goose."
So, what else does one have to do at 3:15am when you're on your third cuppa coffee, the daily 'breaking news' you're watching has done broke.. they're down to talking about Taylor and Travis. WHO? So, of course.......
I Googled "Are geese smart?" Right there in black and white, LARGE letters, YES. Don't believe me? Try it, you'll like it. Mikey likes it.
This is how much I know/knew about geese before my Google quest. It's very difficult to putt on a golf green after they've had a family reunion there. 'Fake' coyote statues don't really work, witness tons of goose poop on the third hole at Cardinal Hill golf course....s'more.
They're pretty. They fly in the V thing. I kinda sorta remember they pair up, and since they all kinda sorta look alike, it's hard, year after year, to see if it's the same goose/gander together (wondering in the backa my mind if their divorce rate is as horrible as ours.)
Welcome to Goose school blog readers........
"I'm loyal! I mate for life, protect my partner, and, look after my goslings." (In case you believe I made a typo there and that shoulda been two O's, huh uh, I Googled that too. Tis goslings, why they drop an O I dunno. One would think with all the droppings a goose makes, they'd be entitled to two O's.)
"I stay by the goslings side until they are ready to join the flock." Working at a golf course with two ponds has been hella fun, as, each year, a pair mates, then, "I lay about 5 eggs a year and keep warm in my nest for about 30 days until they hatch." Then, it's the cutest damn thing ya ever saw, and I'm sure you've seen... they swim (I assume the goose leads the way, don't females run every household?), goose, gander, then gosling, gosling, gosling, gosling, gosling - however many they managed to hatch and keep away from the damn coyotes, raccoons, yada, Denver Park and Rec, or, Wildlife Services, a program of the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) that is well known for its rampant, killing ways. (S'more soon.)
"We're adept fliers, often traveling up to 1,500 miles during our yearly migrations. Why do we fly in the 'V' formation? Our buddies (other geese) in front reduce air resistance for those of us behind. Flying as a 'V' allows us to fly 70% further as a group than if we flew alone." Kinda like a Delta Companion Ticket.
"It might surprise you, but we feel pain and experience emotions, just like dogs and cats. Just like you. (and me)."
Written in July of 2020: "A little over two weeks ago, the City and County of Denver (partnered with the USDA) rounded up and killed many of my family and friends. (1600 in 2019, 400 more in 2020.) We thought the people of Denver parks liked us, but now we're not sure. You might not have heard about it because it happened before sunrise when everyone was asleep. Please help us, we don't know why we're being punished."
Culling.
Ain't never hearda that, so, it's now 3:53am, I'm Googling it. I woulda guessed 'culling' means something like muzzled. "Quiet down children" or the like. Well, it means 'Reduction of wild animal population by selective slaughter."
United Poultry Concerns President Dr. Karen Davis notes "It's quite likely the geese were gassed to death with carbon dioxide while in the transport crates: a slow, agonizing death of suffocation, terror, panic, and pain. Individual birds die at different rates as individuals and it can take many hours for them all to be dead. Also, a bird who seemed dead can revive and will then likely be strangled, beaten with a bat or some other bludgeoning instrument, or both." I might point out, presumption. Perhaps a lotta truth, dunno for sure.
Honest, I try to write fun stuff, life is hard enough. I stumbled onto this, wrote about it.. and thankfully, MANY protested. All kindsa people, animal right's activists, including Jane Goodall came forward.
Happy to report in 2022 Denver Parks and Rec, in cahoots with USDA's Wildlife Services, used nonlethal control (hazing, egg oiling, coyote decoys) and thankfully per the Denver Park and Recs Wildlife Program Adminstrator 'We don't believe we'll need to use lethal control (culling) in 2023."
I don't profess to see from the shoes of those that might be annoyed by geese. Sure, no fun for golf course superintendents to keep their greens clear, perhaps pond owners. Maybe the protective hiss when guarding their nests bugs folks, worry for their kids. It is said "Their hiss is worse than their bite." Wouldn't you, don't you, protect your children? I think they're beautiful creatures and I love watching them, even if they plant their nest on the teebox of the 18th hole (which they've done). I don't putt wortha crap anyways so their crap don't bug me.
Reaction to culling has lead to a 'V',for Victory (and longer flights). Fly proudly honkers, we loves ya!
Love, Victurd
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