Born in October? Fall month births, more centenarians are born in Fall months. Long live Libras. SIX US Presidents born in October, more than any other month. Octo means 'eight' so naturally, it's the tenth month. Paul Harvey says before Julian and Gregorian came around, the Romans had a ten month calendar, thus, October was the 8th month. I thought you'd never ask, later, January and February were added.
You dressed up like a Pirate or a Witch didn't you? Prolly stole your little sister's Snickers too didn't ya? The first 5 day work week was sanctioned in October.
Sports sports sports. The last couplea weeks in October (and sometimes the first week in November) are the only times ALL four major professional sports are in action (aka, NBA, NFL, NHL and MLB and it's World Series. Hey, don't forget the Rugby World Cup...
And, ain't the (Hunter's) moon perty? YEAH, don't forget us hunters! Ok, won't.
OF COURSE you know November only has 30 days (Thirty days hath September, April, June and November.). I always used my knuckles. Huh? Yeah, ya start with the index knuckle (Jan), then the dip 'tween the next knuckle (Feb), then the middle knuckle (Mar), dip (Apr), knuck (May), dip (June), knuck (July), knuck again (Aug), dip (Sep), knuck (Oct), dip (Nov), knuck (Dec.) Curly might say "knuck knuck knuck, only the dips have 30 days (or less)."
Sadly, we say scram to Daylight Savings Time... Hello 'mums', we call 'em that because chrysanthemum is too hard to spell. Speakinowhich, spellcheck (ty btw) was invented in November. You made that crap up didn't you Victor? Humor me, like other funny fellow born in November (Mark Twain, my cousin Charles Schulz, Will Rogers and Danny Devito.)
We give thanks, eat the turkeys the hunters killed... hug family.. tear up a bit for any new, empty chairs. We usually get our first hard frost... and, two meteor showers, and, coincidentally, Grandpa showers twice in November whether he needs to or not.
December, yum. Snug as a bug in a rug in our homes. We lose two minutes of sunshine per day until the 21st, then, boom, we start gaining sunshine.
Twas a few weeks before Christmas, when all thru the house, folks counted their dollars, in hopes of buying nice enough presents they wouldn't come off as a louse. The children were nestled (looking at their Iphones) in their beds, while visions of Roblox and Fortnight danced in their heads. They couldn't wait for the fat man to come down the chimney.
VICTOR! You body shamer you! Hey, I don't feel bad. He works, what, two days a year and I bet his social security is hella more than mine.
Victor, I really gotta pee... speed this thing up, we got 9 months left.
OK, January. Only the beginning. Fulla Capricorns, Aquarians, birth month of Elvis (Love me tender), MLK (love not hate) and Virginia Woolf (You there, afraid of love?) Of course we can't forget to forget Resolutions. And everyone knows about Perihelion.
Ahm, Victor. I don't know about Perihelion. Oh, sorry. That's when the Earth is the farthest from the Sun.
February. Lovers Leap. And, Leap year babies get shortchanged. Hey, when your mom gotya that box'a Valentines as a kid, did you have the kahunas to give, THE BIG ONE, to that hopeful love interest of yours? I really can't remember (Patty Gross, 2nd grade, I was all shook up uh huh huh, uh huh, oh yeah). 28 days, 29 days, but who's counting.
March. Lion. March usually affords us sledding, golf, confused robins, drunkies who pretend to be Irish, spill wine dig that soil.. Madness, Ides, Lamb.
Faster Victor faster I ain't sure I can hold it.
April. Fools who gotta pee but continue to read. April showers pun mebbe intended but I never once used the word golden. Easter, yum. Baseball Ray. I do my Spring Cleaning. Well, actually, my 2023 cleaning. Kids and school teachers get antsy. April welcomed Willie (both Nelson and Shakespeare), talk show hosts (both Letterman and Leno) and come and listen to a story about a.. what I heard thru the grapevine, Buddy Epsen and Marvin Gaye.
May. May you make it thru without, you know, spotting?
Wive's tales about May (Don't husbands tell tales too?) Victor, Mother's day IS in May): wash your face with dew collected in the morning, will enhance your youth... marry in May you'll rue the day... cats born in May won't catch mice, instead they'll bring snakes in the house. Mayday mayday.
Some, Taurus (the Bull) and some, Gemini's (twins) born in May. Would make for an interesting China Shop.
Ju hurry? I gotta pee! OK, June. SCHOOLS OUT, FOR THE SUMMER! Mild weather. Mosta the time. Sometimes. Occasionally. There is no other month on the calendar that begins on the same day of the week as June. SEE WHAT YOU LEARN HERE? Victor, I GOTTA PEE!
My source said "June is an exciting month for sport's fans. Both, the NBA Finals and The Stanley Cup Finals. Yawn, nomme. Color me outdoors hiking, swimming, skateboarding, boating, fishing. I know, I didn't believe it either. Would you believe maybe back porch in onea them heavy duty lawnchairs that holds heavy duty people, with TWO, count em, TWO, beer holders built in? Yeah me too.
July. Ice cream and dog days. May the 4th be with you. Poppers, firecrackers, sparklers, snakes, cones, roman candles, trips to ER. THE BIKINI DEBUTED IN JULY OF 1948. Oh, sorry. That's one small step for man (talking Armstrong on the moon, not the bikini. The bikini was a giant leap for mankind. Sorry, kinda.
Red in the face, doing pee pee dance. Sorry, I'll try to go faster.
August. Humid. Here, come jump in the pool. More people are born in the Month of August than any other Month. (OK, I too, counted the months backwards. Seems as if "not a creature was stirring" is a horrible myth.) The month of August had turned into a griddle where the days just lay there and sizzle. Credit some kid's book. Speakinowhich, back to school you little snotnoses!
September, almost pee time for reader. Harvest moon. Sometimes that happens in October and when it does, then September is call the Corn Moon. That was boring Victor, I GOTTA PEE. Ok, sorry. September is the only month with the same number of letters as its numerical place on calendar. See what you can learn here? Pee pee dance pace now faster. First montha Fall in Northern Hemisphere.
OK, go pee. Oh, I see. Well, then shower and change your undies.
A trip around the sun. Here comes the sun. I always think of Woodstock, Richie Havens, but too, I know the Beatles wrote, recorded it.
Victor, that's a lotta trips around the sun for you.
Uh huh.
I was bored, sorry kinda. I love you, and life, the sun, Christmas, Valentines Day, Baseball Ray, Green beer, April Fools jokes, Patty Gross, but mostly, bikinis.
Love, Victurd
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