I have questions.......

Songs ask questions.....

Who let the dogs out?   

I am an expert on this one (I Googled, read two paragraphs). It's actually about cats.  Or, catcalls.  The party was pumpin... having a ball..  fellas start name callin'..   the girls respond..  asking who let the dogs out.. man-bashing song.  Calm down, I feel men deserved to be bashed if this is the case.  (Side note... Of course I'm biased, but my ex is really, really perty... she usedta get upset if a guy 'catcalled', could be verbal, whistle, eyeball staring, goofy smiles.. anyways, I wouldn't blame her but I did tease "The time to worry is when you don't hear (catcalls) any longer.")  MISOGYNIST!  AM NOT!  ARE TOO! AM NOT!

Who wrote the book of love?  

Dick and Jane?  Dr. Seuss? Jane Austen?  Danielle Steele?  Dr. Ruth?  Masters and Johnson? George Carlin?

Is that all there is?

Yes, call Pizza Hut. ..  We're so sorry Uncle Albert, we're so sorry if we've caused you any pain but you'll have to run to 7/11 for more Old Style.  YES Peggy Lee, that's all.  Sorry if it gave you fever.

Are you lonesome tonight?

Kinda personal Elvis.. mebbe.  Eh, one site said "start with small talk.... hang out with like minded people (Scary ain it?).. Get active.. jump online.. Give "Yes" a go (Careful!).  Spending time on your own ain't a bad thing. 

Should I stay or should I go?

Whichever, at your age, pee before you do either. "If I go there will be trouble, and if I stay it will be double."  Flip a coin.  Phone a friend.  See that flattened squirrel in the road? Decide! (He couldn't, didn't)  JUST DO SUMPIN!....  If the Royals go to their Bullpen, I'd suggest getting a headstart on traffic.

What's it all about, Alfie?

Press One for English..  Would you like fries with that?  Have you tried rebooting?  Eeny, meeny, miny, moe, Catch a tiger by the toe.  You scream I scream we all scream for ice cream.  Love hurts.  Meet me at midnight, Mary.

Why can't we be friends?

Ahm, your breath smells.   I'm ok with lonesome.  I gotta run, someone let all the dogs out.  Be for real, you're voting for whatshisname.  Sure, let's.

Does your chewing gum lose it's flavor on the bedpost overnight?

No, I put my dentures in a cup of water, gum stays pretty fresh.

Do you hear what I hear?

Uh huh.  Barking.  Jack and Diane down by that shady tree.  Lonesome George Gobel mumbling.  Rachel, Monica, Phoebe, Joey, .Chandler, Ross, being Friends.  A Doublement commercial.

How much is that doggie in the window?

Don't do that. Go to the pound, adopt.  Mr. Merchant, please let the dog out.

Who do you think you are?

Don't you know who I am?  MR. BIGSTUFF.  I'm Bart Simpson, whothehell are you?  Bond. James Bond.  My name is Jose Jimenez.  The one and only Billy Shears.  I'm a loser, I'm a loser, And I'm not what I appear to be.  I am the walrus, Goo-goo-g'joob. 

Does anybody really know what time it is?   

5:41am in Liberty, MO.  4:11am in Agra, India (don't ask, it's always 30 minutes different), 3:31am in Puerto Penasco, MX.. 12:41pm in Paris.  It's always 5 o'clock somewhere.

Have you ever seen the rain?

Yes, played in it. Danced in it.  Ran from it.  Cussed at it. Grateful for it.  Seen it so bad, hadta pull over to the side'a the road.  Rain-X is perty cool.  Be like a duck. Calm on the surface, but always paddling like the dickens underneath.

Do you want to know a secret?

• The Beatles were very close to a record deal, and John Lennon wanted to marry. Their manager, Brian Epstein, was very upset, as he had been pitching the boys as four good-looking single chaps from England. Lennon could not be talked out of the wedding, so Epstein made him a deal. As the two could not afford a honeymoon, and did not have a place of their own, he would let them use his flat for two weeks, with the promise that they not tell anyone they were married. In the flat on their honeymoon, for obvious reasons, John wrote "Listen, do you want to know a secret?" John has said that the secret in question wasn't necessarily that he was married, but that he finally realized he was actually in love. >>

Sorry, not sorry I'm weird.

Love, Victurd