Some things old age has learnt me...........

Dress in layers. If you get too hot, you can take a layer off.

If one looks in the full length mirror naked, good gosh Gerty, put layers on until it's all covered.

Things that will happen when you are broke two weeks before your Uncle Sam check:

     You are on the last roll of toilet paper. You need a haircut, badly. You get to your Doctor's appointment and Receptionist Ratched will look up, smile, then announce "You still owe a $20 copay from your last visit." The gas gauge will be on E.  You live in an apartment, ain't gotta washer and dryer and you just put on your last pair of clean undies. (To be continued)

   So, three loads to do... $3.75 per, $11.25 total (thank goodness for FREE dryers at the laundromat!). You have 2 fives in your wallet. An all apartment, junk drawer, bluejean pocket search yields 6 quarters, AHA, "an extra quarter 'cause I always lose one/count wrong." All happy, you pull in, tote your overflowing clothesbasket to the machines, load three of 'em, convert the $5's to quarters. Walking back to the washer, you realize, when you walked in you dropped a pair bright green (dirty) undies next to a mom and her three giggling children.  (To be continued)

You pickup the undies, walk to the washer and you realize they've raised the washer rate from $3.75 to $4.50.  You, under your breath, cuss the owner, the avian flu and the sitting President.  You manage to finish.

You live by The Square. there is an event going on there, it's "Wine about Winter", overflowing with drunken rookies.  You make it home, kinda. You finally find a parking spot 'near Kearney', some two and a half blocks from your front door. After taking two breaks on the walk home, you're ready for a nap. It's cold out, so you Whine about Winter.

You awaken, your breath frightens you. You find you done rolled the toothpaste tube up so much there ain't nuthin' gonna squirt outta there. Coffee. Need coffee. There's one scoop left (3 for a full pot), and of course, the last coffee filter. You cuss Folgers, Maxwell House and ground beef. After a self discussion you decide "Eh, I'll go to the store and wait to get a haircut after payday in two weeks." You make a grocery list, head to store.  (To be continued)

Music is cranked, you grab a cig, "Crap, my last one and the carton is empty." What a perfect time to quit! To which I reply, "Did you just get here blogreader?"

Pull into Piggly Wiggly. No list to be found. DANGIT! Drive back home, list right where I left it. Back to Piggly. Incoming text "Can I borrow 40 bucks?" You laugh, then take delight in finding a front row parking place! As you pull in, the Check Engine Light comes on. You cuss Nixon, War, Classified documents, constipation, the $1.25 Dollar Tree, the PE teacher that made you do 500 sit ups, the $29.99 guy, and you end it with "Mike ain't got sh*t." All better now.

OK, I josh, somewhat. It does kinda seem though, when one is overextended, you also happen to be out of about everything.

To get to old age, you don't need GPS, you simply need to be blessed. Yes, we're set in our ways, but ain't it spiffy to still have ways to sit in?

I love you and I thank you for stopping by.

Love, Victurd

KCI or MCI, ya got me goin' in circles.............

At times in life - all we are left with are memories. Fulton, Mo, my grandparents had a big ole house I so fondly remember as a child.  The front yard, at least from the eye's of a child was HUGE.  It did have a sidewalk that ran the course of 'the fifty yardline' but somehow we survived.

They downsized years later, tiny yard but HUGE family memories. Driving back to this yummy mid-Missouri town today, one finds, big house torn down, downsized house also and Casey's is in her place.

Memories.

Soon, as easy as ABC (terminals} the new airport will open, like, tomorrow. I liked the easy come easy go of our airport, but, can't stand in the way of progress, for all you get is standinginthewayofprogress and Wordle says that ain't a word.

If you are stilll awake, be prepared to be bored with airport memories.

I ain't accomplished at nuttin', but, among my 'accomplishments'.. 4 years with United Airlines ("Vic, we're abandoning this mini-hub idea, you can go to NY or Chicago, part-time."); Eastern Airlines, 7+ years (Chapter 11 which rhymes with (and led to) 7  to which Robert Preston might say "Ya got trouble, right here in river city".

Then, Braniff, "Believe it", 'you really didn't did you?', yes, in sales, lasted 3 years. Oh, then, ex and I had a mom and pop air cargo delivery company. I think maybe I was dropped on my head at birth.

So, I at least accomplished love for the airport. Victor, we're bored, get to the mems. OK:

Ultra high maintenance all wood floors but so damn cool when once or twice a year Bambi would get to the automated double glass doors, see her reflection, run in and CLIP-CLOP-CLIP-CLOP chaos would begin.

I wasn't involved in this one, but wish I woulda been. Buddies found out the phone number where the cabbies took breaks, had coffee. They, my buddies, would put a bag of trash, nothing but trash and put it on the floor behind the bag claim, next to the window. They would then go to the pay phone, within eyesight of the cabbie stand... call... and in a loud whisper, they'd tell the poor guy that answered the phone "Hey... we got your money, sorry it took us so long..it's on the floor behind the bag claim, next to the window... please make sure you get ALL of it to Tony, thanks." Confused, somewhat scared cabbie, but thinking maybe he'd won the lottery... would look left, then right, then back left...slowly walk, then run and get the trash bag and unload it,  Dorito bags, barf bags, Pepsi cups, paper towels, used Kleenexes, toiletries (eww) frantically looking for the stash... as soon as the bellies of my buddies stopped hurting from laughing so much they made their way back downstairs to meet their next flight.

Skip this paragraph if you don't want your 'I love Lucy' image damaged. Ms. Ball and her agent approached my podium. It was back in the days you could still smoke on planes, so I had to ask "Would you like smoking or nonsmoking ma'am?" She looked me, turned her head, looked at her agent..."she'd like non-smoking", a few more question, each the same, she'd turn to her agent, she would not speak to me. I was kinda bummed.

Dom DeLuise, on the other hand. Working the ramp one day, a buddy and I ventured up the jetway to the passenger waiting area. Mr. Dom was walking to the jetway, looked at us, both drenched in sweat, smiled, asked "You guys load the planes?" Yessir. He then motioned like he was holding two bowling balls by his knees and added "I bet they must hang down to here."

New hire. Cargo area getting full, minutes before departue time. Frantic lead to new hire, "We're gonna run out of room. Take the tug to Delta, see if we can borrow their bin-stretcher, and, HURRY."  Off he races, gets to Delta, "Sorry, we loaned it to Continental," off to Continental, "No, United borrowed it yesterday." The joke was on he. Buddies, of course, hee-hawing when he finally made it back.

Suitcases commonly broke open. Wiseacres would grab a bra, seek out what looked like a sale's rep bag, open it and insert the bra. "Honey, honest, I have no idea!" Uh huh, sure.

Suspicious bag? They had another name for it but it escapes me. At least once or twice a year you'd meet a flight, start unload it and you'd hear a bag vibrating, buzzing. You were pretty certain what it was but you could take no chances. So, up you went to the jetway, before allowing anyone to deplane the flight attendant would get the name off the tag, announce "Trudy Smith can you come to the front of the plane please?" There, infronta God, the Captain, flight crew, security and ramp rats, Trudy was forced to open the suspicious bag, find and turn off her vibrator, then all was good.

New hire, me. Written, you miss one day the first 90 days, gone. My lead drove up hurriedly, "Vic, come with me." Where we going Roy? "You're going home, your wife's water broke." Thankfully, mngmnt of course OK'ed.

One more and I'll get out of your hair. Braniff, I was in Cargo Sales. Per my boss, "organize a golf tournament for our customers, make it nice, get passes(free flight vouchers) for a dozen or so customers." Did. It was going well until hole #7. What happened? You hit one in the woods? Worse. Boss paged me, pre cell days. "Vic, we're going belly up, they're sending all the planes to Orlando." S*IT, now what?

Word got around the golf course fast. My customers liked me, had nothing to do with me, I gave them cheap rates! Anyways, we finished the tourney,, they proceeded to bring ME an endless supply of beer as they realized I was losing my job. I handed out 12 worthless (keepsakes?) flight vouchers and a good time was had by all. Thankfully, Braniff did come back for a very short time and they all got to go somewhere.

Literally thousands like me will carry fond, fond memories of this airport. We can't be standinginthewayofprogress.

I would like to add... if you ever are to fly and something goes awry, it likely ain't due to the employee across from you. Minimally, that employee worked boo koo years of nights to have the day shift and some sense of normalcy with his, her family. Odds too that this employee got furloughed, or force transferred to Albany, or Fargo, Boise, Louisville (new home, new city, new schools for the kids.) Only the lucky ones make it back to their hometown  to retire.Also, very good odds that person has worked for one or more other airlines that went kapooey.

It gets in your blood. And like love for airline work, so comes the joy of the building where you work.

Grandma's, Municipal Stadium, soon Kauffman, and now KCI. 

Memories, good ones. BRB, going to grab a pizza at Casey's, Fulton, MO.

Love, Victurd

Chopsticks and other easy stuff....

At least, they are for 1.2 billion people, nomme. 1.5 billion of us use fork and spoon.

Life, easy peasy? Quoting a beloved family member "Not nos, but hells nos."

Easy as pie? I've never made one.

Easy to be hard. It don't come easy.  Take it easy. It's so easy.  Peaceful easy feeling.

Easy rider. The big easy. Earth girls are easy.  Easy money. Five easy pieces.  

Easy as duck soup.  Easy as falling off a log. 

Easy as child's play. Huh? Have you played with children recently?  Getting down on the foor for me nowadays usually includes long range planning on how I'm going to get back up.

Drop something? 5 second rule? Heck, that went by the wayside years ago. Now, I wait until I drop a second something, then, I kick it over by the first something, pick them both up, same time.

Easy as 1, 2, 3? Easy as A, B, C? Wordle could be, if only... if only one could dig in their billfold, get out a fitty and say, "Mr. Sajak, I'd like to buy a vowel.," then it'd be easy.

Easy chair, yum. Mine reclines. I can sit in it to watch the News, next thing I know I awaken halfway thru Entertainment Tonight.    

Much is easy, much ain't.  Easy on the eyes, yum. Easier said than done. Quitting smoking is easy, I've done it six times.

Who needs keto, kale, rabbit food, dieting? The added pounds make for faster, easy sledding.

Easy to swallow? Tell that to Bowser and the pill he just spit out that was wrapped in cheese..bacon.. peanut butter... a meatball. Swallowing one's pride is difficult but it will go down.

There is no easy way to say this. Hi, I am Victurd and I'm a keyboard addict.

The easy way out.  Easy Street. Easy to please.  Let off easy. You give up too easy. Too easy.

It's easy to see, it's a difficult word, should be easy.

I am inept at budgeting, easy come, easy go. A flat tire, at this age, ain't no easy fix unless you got AAA.

Halloween, it's as easy as taking candy from a baby.

I'm hungry, think I'll go eat.  Eggs, over......

Over in the microwave, scrambled of course - they're easy that way. Even at $4+ a dozen, that's four meals for me, easy on the easy come easy go budget.

By Henry Gibson.... Forward by Peter Fonda, Dennis Hopper and Jack Nicholson (if you recognize the significance of these three, it's easy to tell you're old too.)

Love, Victurd

BME...

Be Me? Of course not, why would I wish for someone to be tubby, with 'lead in their step'?

Bowel Movement Everlasting?  Geez, hope not, that would be H E double toothpicks with empty shelves in the paper aisle at Piggly....

Best Month Ever?

FEBRUARY?

Why not?

Well.... it's damn cold..... Yeah but...

Jonquils and robins are confused....  Yeah but...

I'll give it to you Valentine's Day is cool, but we're past that.... Yeah but... I look at it as an awakening.. Did you say 'woke'?  Ahm, no.

There are, admittedly, great months all year... we all have favs.... Spring.... Summer.. Fall... and we end with Thanksgiving and Christmas..

Loan me your ear for halfa blog...

It's an exciting time..  Kinda like the rollercoaster and it's slow ascent to the top to prepare for YIPEE! YAHOO! Take me home, rollercoaster road, to the place I belong!

A new start. Pinch ourselves, we're alive...hear that? We need that reminder!

The day is getting longer... we're inching closer to Spring forward that damn thing we Fall'd Back on.

Maybe best of all... folks in SoCal, AZ, TX, The Gulf, The Atlantic, all, are looking at us like "Are you crazy?"

NO, we're lucky, and we might even find a four leaf clover forya to stick in your cowboy hats.

Snowbirds inhale, exhale and retrace their steps back home.. the tan will fade.. but there ain't no better bed to sleep in.. and Fido can't wait to poop in his favorite pooping spots...

Sssshhhhhh.... listen..... fly balls being hit... grounders.. fungo bats... the popping of a 97 mph fastball into the catcher's mitt..

Like bears.. we're reaching the 'wake me when it's over' time of year...

Unload those shorts into the dresser... changeout long sleeve for short... Stand on your head, turn that Winter frown upside down.. It's a Serotonin time of year...

Dust off that lawnchair there are picnics at the lake upcoming... teeball games where a 'grand kid' will, of course, run to third base insteada first...good times, good sights... beats the heck outta sitting in the easy chair, blanket in tow, watching a funny video where an ad pops up halfway through...

Fly robin fly.. Hello tree, howya doin bud(s)? The grass IS greener on the other side of Nov/Dec/Jan.

That's the way, uh huh, uh huh I like it.

Go. Kiss. Hug. Hold. Laugh. Run. Jump. Dance. Embrace the outdoors.

The rollercoaster is chug-a-luggin' to the top. BVE? Best view ever?

I dunno, but it's pretty exciting.

SoCal, AZ, TX, The Gulf, The Atlantic, carry on. 

We, in the thawing tundra, are throwing a party. Our annual YIPEE YAHOO YUMMY party, reminding ourselves again how lucky we are to be here.

Green Acres is the place to be.
Farm livin' is the life for me.
Land spreadin' out so far and wide
Keep SoCal, AZ, TX, The Gulf, The Atlantic, just give me that countryside.

Don't never apologize for being happy. Spread it like manure, good things will pop up.

Sir, you're next in line for the rollercoaster.... YIPEE YAHOO YUMMY!

Happy days...

By Henry Gibson....    Forward by Yogi, John Deere and Burpee

Love, Victurd

THREE DAYS... until Chris Jones, gets into his stance, greets his opponent with "Whatsup fatty?"

More than you ever wanted to know about Super Bowl LVII;

As of 5:30 am today on Ticketmaster, least expensive ticket, $3,450 per. Best seats, 50 yard line, Row 5, $24, 692 each. (Say, did you hear about the guy who didn't think Lebron would break the all-time NBA scoring record until tonight's Laker's game so he paid just under $50,000 for two tickets to it? Well, Lebron broke the record this past Tuesday night, gulp.)

Parking, $100 (No tailgating!)

If yain't got your room yet, there are very few still available within 15 miles of State Farm Stadium, and they go for $888.33 per night, two night minimum. Oh, and that does include continental breakfast.

To buy you, mama and junior two beers, a coke and three hot dogs, it's $80.75 (Beer $17.50 ea, pop $7.50, dogs $12.75 ea.)

You can drive to a Kansas casino and make a multitude of bets. National Anthem over or under 2 minutes  & 5 seconds.  The color of the Gatorade poured on the winning coach (orange, blue, green, clear, red or purple.) Will Andy Reid wear a Hawaian shirt?  Will a fan run on the field during the game? The predominant color of Rihanna's outfit for the halftime show. Her hair color?

Number of hot dogs sold, over/under 17,000? Will the power go out? Will Tom Cruise parachute into the stadium to hand deliver the game ball? See? You can go broke not even knowing a thing about football!

The Lombardi Trophy weighs 7 lbs. and cost $50,000. Each of the 32 teams, plus some help from the league, pay for the cost of the Super Bowl rings ($5M).

Most households are equipped with a TV anywhere from 32 to 65 inches to watch the game. Some bigger, some bars much bigger. The NFL, for the referees, recently upgraded their replay monitors from 9 inches to 12. Go figure.

14,500 tons of chips and 8 million pounds of guacamole are consumed in US households during the Super Bowl, or, enough snack food to fill 270 jumbo jets. The only day people eat more food? Thanksgiving.

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THREE. THREE days

The first AFL-NFL World Championship Game, 1967, retroactively known as Super Bowl I. The Green Bay Packers, led by Vince Lombardi, were favored by 14 over Hank Stram and our beloved Chiefs, There was AFL-NFL animosity, doubters believed the NFL was vastly superior and it would be a blowout. Each League had their own brand, style of football and the refs would swap them out as thei teams came on offfense.

It was close for a half, the Chiefs actually outgained them 181-164, but trailed, 14-10. Curtis McClinton, on a 7 yard pass from Len Dawson, scored our first touchdown. Perhaps naysayers were right, Green Bay rolled the 2nd half, winning 35-10.

The following season, with a chip on their shoulder, the Chiefs blasted the vaunted Chicago Bears 66-24 in a preseason game. There was still considerable doubt, even perhaps amongst us Chief's fans. I'm old, I remember that game and it was huge, solidifying 'the AFL is here to stay.'

Short blog today - you're welcome.

Snowing here in KC. Schools closed. Out and about - be safe.

If you are nervous like me about this game, Jake says "Don't be, it's at State Farm Stadium for goodness sake."

Love, Victurd

FOUR DAYS UNTIL SUPER BOWL LVII (FOUR minute warning)

FOUR days until exultation or misery.  Remember, each team has a 53 man roster plus another 16 practice squad players. That's 2,070 players who will be sitting at home watching the game on TV.  Since Super Bowl #1, teams in Cleveland, Detroit, Houston have never been. Twelve teams have never won a Super Bowl, the four above and the Cardinals, Falcons, Bills, Panthers, Bengals, Chargers, Vikings and Titans.

We've won TWO, and this is our THIRD Super Bowl in FOUR years! Pinch my small market epidermis!

FOUR minute warning. Blogging goals for me: keep you awake; occasionally read something where you'll think "I didn't know that."; have a splash of 'coming from leftfield; and hopefully, bring a laugh or two.

FOUR minute stories of KC Chiefs.

Uno: I wanted to play quarterback in the NFL so bad I could taste it . Undrafted, six tryouts (Giants, Packers, Jaguars, Cowboys, Jets and Vikings) ended in no, no, no, no, no, no. So, for the next six years I drug my family with me to living in FOUR different cities as arena league quarterback. My goal then became putting football in my past. At age 30, it was time for a real job.

A buddy of mine convinced Steve Wisdom, the owner of a new home construction company, to interview me for new home sales. It was shortly after the 2008 housing crash, Wisdom admitted later he was fighting to save employees he already had, not wanting to add new ones. "You're asking me for a role you have zero experience, hundreds others want this job, how can you possibly make the case it would make sense to hire you? I told him I would outwork and outhustle anyone in the company. I told him I'd do everthing I could to become one of the sales leaders. We hit it off. I think deep down he worried I might go back to football, but he offered me $100,000 a year, no commission.

This guy spent four months in training, sold four houses in the first six weeks and was off and running, as promised. Nine months later, his phone rang. Andy Reid, head coach of the Eagles, offering a full time assistant coaching position at a salary of, gulp, $45,000. After conversing with his wife (oh to be a birdie on the window sill to eavesdrop on that one!) he called Wisdom apologetically, Wisdom replied "Matt, you're a man of integrity, go chase your dream."

That he did. Even though Coach Reid was fired the next year, he brought me with him when he went to KC. In a few years I was hired to be the Head Coach of the Chicago Bears. In three years there we went 34-31 (12-4 the first year) but they let me go. I'm back with Andy and the Chiefs, living the dream as quarterback coach to the best QB in the NFL! Hi, I'm Matt Nagy.

Dos: This one is only FOUR'ty seconds. This guy, at the University of Delaware, handed off to me and passed to me as he was QB and I was running back/wide receiver/returner. Come to think of it, with all the injured returners, naybe the GM would consider me? Who are we? Home salesman/QB coach Matt Nagy and 'returner'/GM Brett Veach!

Tres: Another FOUR'ty second diddy. Hi. I was born in Long Beach, CA. Three different people gave me names....well, I guess FOUR if you count my mom. Snoop Dogg, yep, THE Snoop Dog was my pee wee football coach. I was the number two rated  (nationwide) wide receiver out of high school, went to USC, and I'm proud of some things I did early in the NFL. I was the youngest player ever, and I was the youngest player ever to score a touchdown! In my third year I passed Randy Moss becoming the youngest wide receiver to reach 2,500 receiving yards. My mom named me John Sherman Smith,my aunt called me Ju-Ju, it stuck. Snoop called me "Sportscenter" In college I legally changed my last name to Smith-Schuster in honor of my stepfather who raised me. I'm JuJu Smith-Schuster.

Cuatro: The FOUR oldest players on the team? Back-up QB Chad Henne is 37, and DE Carlos Dunlop, TE Travis Kelce and OL Brandon Williams are all 33.

Cinco: In honor of Wordle, all these players have five letters in their name: Brown, Clark, Danna, Henne, Jones, Jones, Kelce, Moore, Smith, Sneed, Toney, Wylie, Amadi, Reiter, Franks.

Seis: While it's not my personal creed, both starting QB's have played with my butt. I was the Center at Oklahoma when Jalen Hurts was the QB, and of course now it's me and Patrick. I'm Creed Humphrey.

Seiti: Your Super Fan (Edp445) is creepier than our Super Fan. The 31-year-old  Eagle fan was detained by police and eventually arrested in June of 2020 for suspicion of child grooming and pedophilia but it is unclear if he ever served jail time. (and again in 2022.) All our fan, Xavier Babudar, who is known as a diehard Kansas City Chiefs fan who dresses up as a wolf to attend home and road games did was rob a bank. On Dec. 16, police arrested Babudar in Bixby, Okla. at 10:15 a.m. and charged him with numerous offenses, including armed robbery. Babudar was suspected of robbing the Tulsa Teachers Credit Union in the town earlier that morning.

Ocho: Me and my size 17 shoes left Nigeria, bound for Edgewood, Alabama when I was 16 years old. I'd watched film of NBA greats like Lebron - and my goal was to play basketball in the NBA and send funds back to provide for my family in Nigeria.

Thankfully, I was invited to live with Edgewood HS basketball coach Todd Taylor and family. They met me at the airport. I didn't have much, They started toward the bag claim but I told them my backpack was all I had. Inside that backpack was one change of clothes, a Nigerian passport and a student visa, a few family photographs, a bible gifted me by mother, and $20 cash I'd converted from my country's depressed naira currency. Oh, I had an old, dead Nokia phone that wouldn't work with any of the US chargers. It went dead on my 18-hour flight, with connections through Amsterdam, New York and Atlanta, it became trash.

Because of my prior schooling, they elevated me one year in school. Basketball was OK, but I didn't excel fast enough for me. One day a buddy and I were watching football practice and we were tossing a football around. The coach walked over, asked me if I wanted to tryout, "It'll be a good way to stay in shape until basketball season," so I did. They didn't have any size 17 cleats so I ran the 40 in hi-tops. I ran a 4.62 and they told me that was pretty good. They liked my size too. I was 6'7", 225..

Thanks to some soccer skills honed back home as a kid, they had me kickoff too.I made a lot of tackles on kickoffs because I guess kids feared getting in my way. I played defensive end and I guess I did OK. Coach sent game films to college coaches, and before I knew it, I had over 30 offers. Schools like Auburn, Kentucky, Clemson, Georgia, LSU, Florida, Ohio State, Notre Dame and many others. The Taylors had a map on the wall, they'd put red pins in to show me where the schools were.

My Senior year I broke my leg pretty bad in January playing basketball. Some schools backed off their offers but thankfully Auburn Coach Malzahn stuck with me, as did the Taylors did too. I did end up at Auburn and I switched to offense, starting three years at left tackle. Some team named the Eagles (haha) drafted me in 2020. Five days after they let me go on January 11, 2021 the Chiefs picked me up and I've been here ever since. Sadly, my mom passed my sophomore year in college so she didn't get to see me reach my dream. My name is Prince Tega Wanogho.

FOUR days! I'm not out of stories but, I don't know what comes after ocho in Spanish so I gotta go.

Love, Victurd

Dallas to KC to 64068 to FIVE Days to Super Bowl LVII

An itch to move. In 1962, after three successful seasons as the Dallas Texans, Lamar Hunt sought to move them to a City they could call their own, but not too far of a commute to his Dallas home. Enter KC Mayor H. Roe Bartle and a promise of "We'll sell 25,000 season tickets if you move here. " Hands were shook, Bartle organized 100+ KC business leaders to "Go. Sell season tickets. We don't know the team name yet, but go. Sell."

Hunt and Stram wanted to call the team The Kansas City Texans, but thanfully they agreed to a fan "Name the team" contest a fan suggested "Chiefs" in honor of Bartle, a nickname he derived in his role as as Scout Executive of both the St. Joe and KC Boy Scout Councils. Bartle not only founded 'the Red Coaters' (the sales guys) he'd also founded the Tribe of Mic-O-Say.

Say, May 22, 1963, THE KANSAS CITY CHIEFS moved to KC. High FIVE!

At first, they came to the FIVE digit zip, 64068 (Liberty, MO, William Jewell College) for the next 27 years.

If you don't mind, please allow this blog writer to veer off 71 Bypass to remember, "Holy crap, it was the time of my life!"

As a kid, running up and down the hill from Brown Gym to the practice fields to garner scads of autographs that I have no idea where they are today. Pristinely manicured fields, HUGE, loud, dirty, sweaty men. A goalpost in the middle of the nearby baseball field, exclusively for Jan Stenerud. Pre leash law days, I remember the embarrassment of my hound dog, Brownie, chewing on the left buttcheek of EJ Holub as he pounded the blocking sled with his right arm, shoulder while at the same time swatting Brownie with his left arm.

Playing racquetball, a knock on the door, "Mr. Stram would like to play now." I remember seeing Curly Culp and (I think John Gilliam) goofing around, wrestling in the basement of Brown and a huge, heavy welding tank falling on Culp's foot. He limped upstairs, KC Star would report "Culp to miss Chargers game after injuring his foot in practice."

Me. as a 21 year old, Corner Bar.. I remember a player across the bar from backup QB Pete Beathard hollering "Pete, grab me some peanuts." He obliged, started to walk them to the guy, guy said "Just throw 'em." "Nah," Pete answered, "someone would probably intercept 'em."

Living 2 houses from WJC, I remember huge, fancy cars going up the hill of our 25mph street at breakneck speeds (60-ish?) nightly at 9;55pm in effort to make their 10pm curfew.

Sorry, kinda. Got sidetracked on all those hills, one-way streets of 64068. We were lucky, We were the real life football version of The Sandlot.

FIVE days. Who are your FIVE all-time favorite Kansas City Chiefs?  Tough one. There are 22 Hall of Famers.

Bobby Bell, Dawson, DT, Mahomes, Taylor.... maybe, (for me anyways).. but SO many good ones. Your top FIVE?

Who's #5 this year? Tommy (please get the laces right) Townsend.

How many different players have played for the Chiefs? I tried every search engine known to man and could not find the answer. I started counting them one-by-one alphabetically, fell asleep somewhere around 375 (I was in the last name E's). Sorry, kinda. I can tellya, between Husain Abdullah and Frank Zombo, A LOT.

I can tell you the numbers 3, 16, 18, 24, 28, 33, 36, 58, 63, 78 and 86 are retired.

Speaking of naps, I'm gonna lay down for FIVE.

Love, Victurd

(One more, but bear in mind it's R-rated. Early in Chief's history, Lamar smartly coaxed one more preseason game to fill coffers, an intrasquad game using mostly rookies, the Chiefs against the Chiefs labeling it, The Milgram Grocery Bowl. One innovation, prior to days of dump buttons, came the idea to 'mike up' the QB. Rookie Sandy Stevens was selected. Things were going well, we, with our transitors were enjoying - then, Stevens dropped back to pass, he was smashed to smithereens by a behemoth defensive end... they huddled up for the next play -Stevens was irate, looked his lineman in the eyes and screamed WHO'S SUPPOSED TO BE BLOCKING THAT 'MF'N (oops) #99?", legible to all us little Brylcreemers listening about the City. It reminded me of the time Cowboy Bob's radio show had ended, but he forgot to turn off the mike, exclaiming "There, that oughta please the little bastards."

Gorgeous Days and Mondays Always Think First Down.... (SIX days!)

SIX, six days until Super Bowl.  

Yesterday, local news teams gathered on the tarmac in KC to watch the American Conference Champion Kansas City Chiefs be on their way to Phoenix for Super Bowl LVII. A few hours later, reporters were on the other end - the plane rolled in, Captain had his front 'driver's side' window open, an he was proudly waving a Chief's Kingdom flag for all to see. Hail To The Chiefs, and the Chief of the Chiefs as Andy Reid led the charge down the stairs. One by one, he, all the staff members, and 53 players stopped to shake the hand of Chief's great, Christian Okoye who was there to greet them.

Now, as we Kansas Citians roll outta bed to take on the week, so do our buddies in Phoenix. For many players, their first, maybe only trip to play in the Super Bowl.... Oft times we ask friends, acquaintances "How ya doin'?", they reply "Livin' the dream", so, so true for this group of 53 this week, as well as for the Eagles. Mother Nature affords us in KC a Phoenix-like day (high of 63) so we can dream right along with them.

SIX days. Meantime, let's {let's is a contraction meaning 'let us', but only if ya wanna continue reading), let's take a look at how all this (The Kansas City Chiefs) started.

Long ago and far away (SIXty-four years ago, Dallas, Texas) 27 year old oil tycoon Lamar Hunt tried to purchase the NFL Chicago Cardinals with the perceived intent to move them to Dallas - but the Cardinals only agreed to sell 20% - Lamar declined - thus, he tried to convince the NFL to allow him to start an expansion franchise in Dallas. Nope, the NFL awarded another Texas oil guy, Clint Murchison, thus, a 1960 "Welcome to the NFL, Dallas Cowboys.

Hunt then had other ideas, "If the American and National League work in baseball, why can't it in Football?" He, and yet another Texas oil guy, Bud Adams -met, and together they sought and found SIX additional investors and BOOM, the AFL was formed. Most thought they were nutso, thus, they became the self proclaimed 'Foolish Club.'

Hunt's Dallas Texans, precursor to the Chiefs, were born. Yeah but, we need a coach - Lamar went after Oklahoma's coach Bud Wilkinson, "nope, staying at Oklahoma." Then, he eyeballed the highly respected NY Giant offensive coordinator, Tom Landry - "thanks, I'm appreciative, but I'm accepting the (NFL) Dallas Cowboy job."

Hunt then nabbed obscure, but successful University of Miami assistant, Hank Stram.  Both Dallas teams would play their games at the Cotton Bowl. Oddly, if you wanna call Roswell, New Mexico odd, Hunt's Dallas Texans trained there at the New Mexico Military Institute that first year.

Batting heads with the Dallas Cowboys. Mr. Hunt was a promoter, had to be, the NFL was ingrained to the US, thus, "what's this AFL thing?", he had to work harder, faster - he did. The Texans offered discounted tickets at Department stores and Airline offices.. some tickets were given away at certain gas stations for filling up.. they even stuffed some tickets in helium filled balloons and let them go about the City. Occasionally the Cowboys played on Friday nights and when they did the Texans would encourage folks to go to a Friday night high school game, save the ticket stub and show it for free admission to the Sunday Texan's game.

The Cowboys countered by offering halftime entertainment, including the likes of Roy Rogers and Dale Evans.  Not much went right for the Cowboys that inaugural season as they went 0-11 and one tie. If it weren't for bad luck... They brought in Ward Bond, ye of Wagon Train fame to appear at a halftime show for a game between the Rams and the Cowboys, but he had a massive, fatal heart attack at an area Dallas hotel.

On the field, things went much better for the Texans that first year, finishing 8-6.   Fans paid $4 for a reserved seat, $2 for general admission, and students could get in for 90 cents. (A quick fast forward to today, the Chief's franchise is valued at 3.7 BILLION dollars.) That first year, the Texans would average 24,500 in attendance (compared to 21,417 for the Cowboys) and a record 51,000 came to their first preseason game against Houston.

Lamar and General Manager Jack Steadman shrewdly filled their rosters with players from Texas, and in 1961, both the Texans and the Cowboys drafted EJ Holub, purported to be the best college player in the draft and he signed with Lamar and the Texans.

Although the Texans 'outrecorded' (Dat a word? Should be!) Even though the Texans 'outrecorded' the Cowboys 25-17 to 9-28-3 the first three seasons - including finishing 11-3 the third year, beating the Houston Oilers on National TV to become the AFL Champs - Lamar deducted, while Texas is huge, Dallas couldn't support two professional football teams. He looked to move them somewhere like Atlanta or Miami for the following season. NO LAMAR!! DON'T DO IT!!

SIX, count 'em, SIX days.

Victor?/ Yes? You wrote a damn blog on SIX and football and there is ZERO mention of a SIX point touchdown?

Oh OK.  The very first touchdown for the Texans-Chiefs-Mellencamps was on September 10, 1960 on a pass from Cotton Davidson to Chris Burford... and the most recent was a week ago from King Patrick to Marquez-Valdes-Scantling.

I might bore you with more tomorrow if I don't have a SIX pack tonight, and if I get at least SIX hours sleep.

By Henry Gibson          Forward by SIXto Lezcano

Love, Victurd

Seven anxious days makes one week.

7 days until the Super Bowl. At 5:30pm Central this coming Sunday, hopefully we will have won the toss and our present day #7, Harrison Butkicker will drill the ball well over the head of the return man and out of the end zone.

Victor, I wonder who else has worn #7 as a Chief?

I thought you'd never ask, thanks: Zenon (Mr. Sajak I'd like to buy a vowel) Andrusyshyn, Matt Cassel, and John Huarte, to name a few..

Lucky 7's in the draft? Fer sure in fact we had three 7-round pics that are playing extensively this year, Isiah Pacheco, Jaylen Watson and Nazeeh Johnson.

Anything else insteresting about #7 and the Chiefs?'... Well, in their 7th year as the Kansas City Chiefs they had a pretty good year. It was 1969. They finished the regular season 11-3, Lenny got hurt, Mike Livingston stepped to play in SEVEN games - winning the six he started. Post season they traveled to NY to defeat Mr. Namath and the defending Super Bowl Champs 13-6, thanks in large part to a 4th quarter TD pss to SEVENTH round draft pick, Gloster Richardson.

Traveling again, they exacted revenge on Oakland (the Raiders beat them twice in the regular season), winning 17 to SEVEN. On to Super Bowl baby! Surely they lost, the Vikings were favored by 13. Nope. KC wins 23 to SEVEN! Wow, three postseason games, allowing a total of 20 points! Many years later ESPN calls this team the SEVENTH best defense ever!

I'm liking this 7 stuff. Me too! Any more?

Well, let's checkout the top SEVEN all-time leaders.  

Passing: Lenny leads with 28,507 yards in 183 games. It won't be long until Patrick catches him as he's already passed for 24,241 yards in only 80 games! Then, it's Trent, Alex, Bill Kenney, Steve (remember my crooked pinkie!) DeBerg, and Livingston.

Rushing: Jamaal, Priest, Larry, Christian, Ed, Abner and Marcus.

Receiving: Tony, Travis, Otis, Dwayne, Tyreek, Henry and Carlos.

Scoring; Nick, Jan, Harrison, Ryan, Priest, Tony and Travis.

Stats are boring Victor. Agreed.

Howabout, SEVEN decades with the Chiefs, Lenny/Player/Broadcaster and 94 year young George Toma, already in Phoenix working on his 57th Super Bowl!

OK, I've read enough SEVENS, I'm outta here. NO!! WAIT!!

Halftime performers the first SEVEN years:

1967; The Three Stooges! Nuh uh! Uh huh! Did! U of Arizona and Grambling State bands.

1968: Grambling State Band

1969: Florida A&M and Miami area HS Bands

1970: Doc Severinsen, Al Hirt, Lionel Hampton and Southern U Band

1971: Southern Misssouri State Band

1972: Ella Fitzgerald, Carol Channing, Al Hirt and USMC Drill Team

1973: U of Michigan Band, Woody Herman and Andy Williams

The times, they are'a changin...

Last SEVEN, I promise!

One of the below SEVEN is an imposter and has never performed at halftime - the others have:

Blues Brothers (Akroyd, Goodman, Belushi); Eagles; George Burns; New Kids on the Block, Rolling Stones; Temptations; ZZ Top

Chiefs fly to Phoenix today, no trash talk, respect, both teams.

Love, Grumpy and the rest of the SEVEN

Ho hum... to... it's gr8 the Super Bowl is only 8 days from now...

Not all that long ago I remember going out and about in KC only to see roughly every other person wearing some type of Royal's attire.  Bars, buses, ballrooms and baseball games it was a cinch you'd hear "Let's Go Royals, clap-clap, clap clap clap."

I remember how cool it was seeing the rejuvenation of young'ns to baseball... Then I remembered thinking " they're gonna take this for granted thinking 'It's gonna be like this every year' ".... Uh oh...

Fast forward to Scott Pioli and Romeo Crennell.... woe is me, we've hit bottom (and we've had some bottoms what with going from 1974 to 1988 with one, count it, one winning season. Enter Marty, then Dick.. and BOOM, in 2017 trading up seventeen spots (27 to 10) to draft one Patrick Mahomes.

Now, we go out and about in KC and see roughly every other person in Chief's get-up. Great Clips can hardly keep up with all the kid requsts for 'a Mahomes do'. Bars, buses ballrooms and ballgames it's a cinch the arms will start chopping and in unison the Chief's chant, however you spell it, will breakout.

Yawn, ho hum, it's gonna be like this every year.

Fred G Sanford might retort "Dummy! You wanna hear some names that ain't never won in the Super Bowl?"  Sure Fred, enlighten me."Dan Marino, Gale Sayers, Terrell Owens, JJ Watt, Dick Butkus, Earl Campbell, TONY GONALEZ... " OK, OK, OK, I get it!

Red, er, Fred, never one to hold back a word, added "Only 3% of the players in the NFL get to play in the Super Bowl, an did you know Arizona, Atlanta, Buffalo, Carolina, CINCINNATI, Cleveland, Detroit, Houton Texans, Jacksonville, LA Chargers, Minnesots and Tennesse have NEVER won a Super Bowl, so don't give me that ho hum stuff."

OK, I'm excited again.

8 days. 

#8 for the Chiefs is Carlos Dunlap. He was originally drafted in 2010 and this is his first Super Bowl.

$8 would buy you a cheapie ticket to the first Super Bowl.

Nick the Kick wore #8. So did Morten Anderson and Matt Moore, remember him?

8 days, can't wait.

"You're all 8 up, dummy."

Love, Victurd

February 2nd, 2023, Gobbler's Knob, Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania......

Annually they gather. They either fly into the Pittsburgh Airport, rent a car and drive the remaining 79 miles - or, they come via Buses, Trains, Automobiles, or a combination therein.

Who Dey? Dey is broadcasters, sport's analysts, editors, sports show hosts, sideline reporters, podcasters, Vegas bookies, et. al., from the likes of CBS, FOX, NBC, ESPN, ESPN2, ESPN+, ESPNSHRIMP, BALLYS, FANDUEL, BLEACHER REPORT, SI, 247SPORTS, THE ATHLETIC, YAHOO, and probably YIPPEE.

Why dey?

Did you like, just get here?

Ever since Lamar Hunt organized the 'Foolish Club', started the AFL, challenged the big, bad, mighty Bronko Nagurski,  Dick Butkus, THE NFL, complete with bad, bad, Jimmy Brown - and in 1967, the NFL FINALLY accepted - a ceremony has been held, the infamous groundhog Punxsutawney Phil, comes out of his hole and usually faces the direction of the City he predicts to win the Super Bowl.

For instance, in 1967, within seconds, he came out, immediately faced NW (toward Green Bay), accurately forecasting their win over the SW direction, Kansas City Chiefs.

Occasionally, the wooly booger adds theatrics, like in 1969, he emerged facing NYC, holding a torch, wearing a Men's Warehouse fur coat (over his own fur coat) complete with cigar and sunglasses, with a sign taped to his front, "I guarantee it", accurately (again) forecasting Broadway Joe Namath and the Jets over the Colts.

Of course, Ole Punx has been wrong a few times. Some claim he's a genuine smartass, misses on purpose, then retires to his hole laughing his ass off, only to smoke cigs and drink Yuengling for six straight weeks.

Last year when he appeared to the media throng, there was a Ram's hat and a Bengal's hat in front of him. He initially picked the Bengal's hat, drawing cheers from the sport's crew of WKRP Cincinnati - but - he put it down, grabbed the Ram's hat and retired to his hole. Both CNN and FOX happened to be at City Hall in Cincy and they each recorded the Mayor's irate reaction, "That's bulls*it, we'll make the Rams our bit*hes." In spite of initial dogooder Cincy fury, he was shortly after voted in for a second term.

TODAY.

DRUM ROLL.

Don't do that, scares him, he won't come out.

When he did finally come out, he was wearing Donna Kelce-like half red (#87) half green (#62) jersey, he'd face KC, do a 180, face Philly, another 180, pause, and another, pause, etc, until he went back into his hole.

Soon after, he appeared wearing a Chief's #37 jersey, ran down to a pond, lowered his head in prayer in honor of Joe Delaney, then back to his hole. The next time he came out he had on a Chief's #58 jersey and he was carrying 7 sacks. Turns out, they were full of food, he ran to a nearby orphanage, dropped them off and again returned to his hole.

Reporters were drawing impatient. We think, but we're not 100% sure it was Jime Rome who said "I make too much money to stand here all day by a rodent hole."

Again Phil emerged. He was big. We ain't sure if it was stuffing, or, that he'd had a second helping of grubs. He had on a Donna Kelce-like shirt, no numbers, front half green, back half red. He had a mustache over his already wooly lip, wearing wire rim glasses, carrying a clipboard. Once again, he started doing 180's in the diection of KC, then Philly, then KC, etc,. etc. Then, gone in a flash as fast as a big man could flash - back in his hole.

Impatient sports guys impatienter by now. We think, but we're not 100% sure it was Joe Buck who said "One more trick like that, I'm outta here." We think Phil mighta heard it 'cause he stayed down there long enough to smoke couple cigs and have a Yuengling.

When he finally did come out, he was wearing a Chief's #15 jersey, wearing a headband and afuzzy toupee over his already wooly head. Lo and behold another 'Phil' emerged (we suspect it was his brother Finley) and the second 'Phil' had on a State Farm shirt, yeah, like Jake. The Mahomey-like Phil, in spite of limped grimace, tried every State Farm trick he'd tried in the commercials to impress 'Jake-Finley'.

'Jake', in spite of being amazed by Patrick's courage, finally stopped him and said "Patrick, you don't have to do all that to beat the Eagles."

WHAT? A GROUNDHOG TALKED?

Phil-Patrick limped toward his hole, remarking, "Yeah, what he said, Chiefs 34-17."

Love, Victurd

Seems Maybe I Like....... Eggs?

Well, true, I do...but goodness gracias... headed to the Piggly Wiggly soon, can I borrow five dolla's?

Blog writers, so I've heard, oft times start staring for a long time at that blank page (or, 'rabbit in a snowstorm' if you prefer) simply to try to come up with a title.

I wanted to write about my favorite word, SMILE. Right you are, I have many favorite words - words like love, emotion, compassion, butterpecanicecream, and, maybe even sex.

Being addicted to Wordle, I dorkily tried to come up with five words, spelling out the five letter word, s-m-i-l-e. You know, like:

Seems Maybe I Like...Eggs....

Or howabout Seems Maybe I Like Ears....you know, they help you learn, listen, pat your foot to music.. scratch, and they're even fun to kiss. All, make one smile.

Or maybe the last word could be Effort.... Electricity, just spent 48 hours in a 30 degree house with no electricity, oh, you could still smile - it just took more effort with a frozen face.

Seems Maybe I Like Emotion - oh baby do I... You?

Seems Maybe I Like Emissions but admit they can cause Embarrassment too. (Saw a wonderful video of an Elementary school teacher who, mid Zoom lesson, farted. Silence, then she giggled, a little girl blurted "Did she just fart?" And, loud laughter, more giggles and SMILES.)

Lotsa E words bring smile.... Employ...Energy..Encounter (Mind out of E gutter, unless it makes you smile)...

Entertain.. Enthusiasm ...Enjoy.. Everybody (a good time was had by all)... Excellence... 

And, smiles are Everywhere, like Chickenman! (Ya gotta be old and from KC to comprende that one.)

OK, tired of the E's... knew I would be, Eventually...

There ain't nuttin' in pill form you can buy at CVS or Walgreens as therapeutic as a smile. 

Kids.. Oldsters.. Buddies... Family... even Strangers - smiles open doors, hearts.

Sure, it's real hard sometimes, we all get those "leave me alone" moments...

I usedta start my day staring in the mirror at my ugly, aging, mug and wanna upchuck - no more, now I smile. A beautiful gal learnt me to. You see, I have this Edema stuff going on (there's the durn E word again.) As I glance at that mirror, there's a 'bag' of fluid under my right eye. I sleep on my right side, fluid builds up.

Where was I? Oh yeah, a beautiful gal. This gal maybe had the best smile I've ever seen. She was in Hospice, the bastard cancer. "Come see me, they give me a week, maybe two." Of course I went. There waiting was that beautiful smile, as well as a pocket of fluid around her eye from the cancer. She even apologized for it, didn't need to, I saw smile, and beauty.

Smiles are yummy. They fix much in life. They set the table for us to enjoy life. They bring hello, touch, hug, high five, fist bump, like and love.

Seems Maybe I Like Em. May we all reap, invest, enjoy the smiles of others - and neva' eva' hold ours back,

Eternal love, Victurd