"IT'S ALIVE!"...

The weather outside... ain't delightful, but we're getting there. If it were a car, we just crossed over into Oklahoma, bound for Texas.

Kids are in school. WHAT?  Uh huh, are. They're having an assembly today to celebrate the combined New Year's Day, Ground Hog's Day, MLK Day, Valentine's Day, George Birthington's Wash Day, and, to review locker combinations..

Local news got some seed store owner guy outta bed at 4:30am to learn us how to grow plants from seed.

WallyWorld assuredly has green crap allover to guide us to St. Patty's Day.... and, to the tune of "Really,  this is our last concert forever" geezer bands across the land are out there... in prominance today, we can just hear Sonny and Whatshername's And The Beat Goes On in the background.

Has beens, never was's but wanna be's, as well as "Of course I'm a millionaire" (Feed me Seymour) gather in the two 'Raisin States' for the annual "Play Ball" soon, Spring training.

Baby robins tug on the tail feathers of mommy/daddy robins, inquire "Can we go now, huh, can we can we?"

Weathermen and women everywhere re-up their antianxiety meds in preparation for tornado season, and, ice fishermen and women, stow their poles, axes, in preparation for their change of clothes into storm chasers.

Jack (with yet another All Conference patch for his letter jacket) and Diane (fresh pair of Bobbie Brooks from The Dollar General) jumpstart his dead battery car so they can attend the annual opening of the Tastee Freez.

Hank, lists his $600 snowblower (used 7 times in 3 years) on the local Facebook Swap & Shop for fitty dollars,  so he'll have a down payment on a new tiller.

Spring cleaning abounds across the land, leading us "whatinthehell then did we do this past Winter?"

Soon, we'll Spring forward our clocks an hour (Cool! The clock on my 2002 Buick Century will once again be right!). Neighbors get out.. "Oh yeah... I recognize him, her."

Just as the swallows are set to return to San Juan Capistrano, we're moved to change from our New Year's evercise resolution we stopped January 12th (have been swallowing any, everything in sight since) to our Plan B three miles a day walking program...but, I'll start once the clocks change.

What the heck is a Maypole, but, count me in as I see it includes "dancing, drinking and festivals."

Foster Brooks, Otis of Mayberry, and Earth, tilt toward the sun.

Non Avian Flu chicks are born across the land... snakes wiggle outta holes but they're still a tad slow, you can outrun em, and, it's time to buy bear spray.

Snotnoses everywhere (yes, those now accomplished in Roblox, Minecraft and Fortnite from their 'virtual school' days) begin the countdown to School's Out For The Summer.

Those of us in the daily (Monday thru Friday) Geezer Golf Scrambles got our first group text, a sure rite of Spring. I've faithfully watched hunnerds of YouTube golf instruction videos this Winter, so it's certain my bogey golf goal will prolly move to bogey plus a couple strokes. Don't care, just good,  blessed to be out there.

Bottom line, it's an uplifting time of year.  

I wish good health, happiness and sunny days as we March toward the Equinox thing.

Love, Victurd

Virtual learning...

Wait a minute.  I'd like to explain something. You know, I ain't punchy. I got what you call, like, I don't know, a relaxed brain, but I ain't punchy. It's just the way I talk (write) here.

Yo Adrian?  If per chance this blogger decides to transfer this post to Facebook.... and it comes up in Memories some 6 years later, how are we gonna tap into his (relaxed) brain to ascertain just what in the wide wide world of sports he's referring to?

Well, school.... or not.

Huh?

Yeah it's been... what's the opposite of chirpy?  Yucky?  Dreary?  Brrrrrrr? I'm dreaming of a white February?  Netflix and wind chill?

Yes, to all of the above.

I can now alphabetically recite the 273 school districts within the KC channel 9 viewing area.

Well there ain't no use to sit and wonder why, babe.

So, I, a kajillion other (grumpy?) old farts have taken an affinity to napping,  uh huh, often.

I mean (I really don't like sentences that begin with 'I mean')... I mean.... an example might be.. you get up, shower, layer up and s'more layers...go start the car, spend 36 minutes warming it up, sweeping snow off, scraping a halfa inch'a ice underneath it... you're ready to roll... then...

Oh crap, I forgot to let the dog out to pee. He don't wanna (can you blame him? The real feel is -16).  So, ya grab leash, pull the little basta to the nearest tree... tears, sweat are now icesickles..  he runs back in, finally, back to car. Except...

In all that time there's now another inch and a halfa snow on the car (quarter inch'a ice under that)...so...

You say "to heck with it"..  you say that, I say "to hell with it", so...

You take a nap.

Sleep, rinse, repeat.

You awaken, it's now 1:37am, you're wide awake. You give in, head to make coffee. Fido thinks mebbe you're gonna put the leash on him so he goes, hides under the back bedroom bed.

Bosses all around field call after call of "Hey Frank, it's Shirley...are you OK if I work from home again? Timmy and Tina ain't got school again and Ian's daycare is closed cause they ain't got sufficient staffing to open." Can ya blame em? Risk a $2700 fender on a minimum wage job?

So, Frank, and literal scads of other area bosses give in.  Shirley stays home, logs in, puts on noise canceling headphones because Timmy keeps hollerin' "My feet hurt!" Really can't blame him, they've grown two sizes since he last went to school.

"Weather Impact Day"s have replaced the now ever  boring "Breaking News" graphics, catchphrase of local news. 

Geezers (Remember? They are up and at em, making coffee at 1:37am).. first cup poured, infronta em (along with six cookies) collapse in the recliner and watch....

12 personal injury ads, interspersed with ads for Proactiv, Bowflex, Ginsu Steak Knives.. flip channel, watch The Andy Griffith Show... Hoss, Ben, Little Joe... and just when the local news comes on...

The eyelids close. 

Eh, mebbe not a bad thing, chirpy weather folks relating more of the same... "stay home unless you absolutely have to get out", airline tragedies, long lines all about the nation at unemployment offices.. the Dodgers signing another hunnerd and ninety million dollar player, and locally on sports....

"Chiefs gonna lose a lot of players (can't afford), Reid, Veach undaunted (fancy for prepare for 6-11.)

VICTOR?!!!!

Huh?

Is it REALLY that bad?

Nah... except for when that one guy sends pics of his feet and a Pina Colada by the pool in Mehico...

Wait a minute, it's stopped snowing

Schools are opening, busses going

Playing baseball in Arizona, gee that's bettah

Muddah, Faddah kindly disregard this lettah

Saturday 38!  SUNDAY FITTY! Monday 58, Tuesday 59!!!!!!

There ain't no use to sit and wonder why, babe.

I think we all (ok dangit, most) here admit to occasional Winter Depression (SAD, Seasonal Affective Disorder)... happens... annually... this one lengthy.. (Victor? Don't you remember last January, like 17 straight days of sub zero weather?)

No, cause I was that ass sending poolside Pina Colada pics from Mehico.

We needs serotonin and melatonin... which, we get from the sun.

Richie might sing:

Here comes the sun, here comes the sun

And I say it's alright

Little darling, it's been a long, cold, lonely winter

Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here

Here comes the sun, here comes the sun

And I say it's alright...

Gotta run..  trying out my shipment of Power Swabs to whiten ma' teeth.

Forward by Billy Mays, Ron Popeil, and Mike (Mike's got this)

Love, Victurd

"Fun" fact: School has been out for 41 of the past 61 days! 😲

(It's no one's fault, but realizing made me feel less crazy.)

How are the roads?

How am I supposed to know, you just took me outta the nursery at the hospital (Remember? Where they had me wrapped up like a burrito?)

Now, I'm ratcheted in this  carseat, I can't see where we're going cause I'm turned the wrong dang way, besides, I can't even talk yet.

Sun, as in a few trips around.

Bobby hit me..  I've gotta pee.. are we there yet, are we there yet?

Now that you're 6, how are the roads?

Jimmy's mom's car has bigger screens in the backseat. Are we poor?  Bobby took my dollar, what are ya gonna do about it? My tummy hurts, I don't wanna go to school.

12.  Roads are clear, perfect. Hey dad, thanks for agreeing to drive our entire soccer team home!  (Dad's a tad stressy from the noise... 15 minutes in, another hour to home.)  Can they spend the night? NO!, er, I mean not tonight son. Well.. ok, but can you get us Happy Meals? Please oh please dad?

14. Honey?  Why are you ducking down?  Because I don't wanna be seen with you guys!  I see, but, the kids with no parents, do they duck down?  Everyone has parents mom.  Oh, I see.

Fitteen, paper driving permit in hand, dad, front seat, passenger side, foot ready to 'brake.'  "Our Father, who art in Heaven..."

21. DD, but someone has to do it. Jenny, I know you love me, you've told me 27 times on the way home. See if you can wakeup Johnny, we're almost home.

28.  Yes, I know Junior is strapped in back there, I've not even come close to the speed limit.  (In spite of having driven now for 13 years, I am so thankful for all the instructions, suggestions, mandates, 2nd brakes compliments of my wife.  Victor, are you being facetious? I would never do that!  MISOGYNIST!  AM NOT!

40. I'm so excited (I just can't hide it) to spend the weekend with Bobby and his wife at the Lake.  But, didn't he torture you growing up?  Yes (ha ha) but we were just kids.

Fitty. Junior's wedding day. Please hurry, we can't be late. Hey, there's a Lotta traffic and... you always tell me to slow down.  MISO....AM NOT.

Still fitty, but father now 79. Knock on his door. Ahm, Mr. Schultze, I don't think you were aware, but you scraped Agnes Murray's car leaving the Post Office. Gulp.

The next week. Winona? (Father's gf) You seen my car keys?  No... I'm sorry, I haven't. (I could kiss her, she took them, I didn't have to.)

65. Take this job and shove it, I ain't driving here no more.

66. Frank? You just bumped into the garage door with the RV. My bad, I'll be more careful when we drive to Montana.

72.... 2:15am this morning. 3" of fallen snow, no cause for alarm, wind chill -25.  Sonnyboy, FedEx has brutal starting times.  You mind taking the broom out, warm up the car, sweep the snow off?  Sure dad. And he said to himself, "I sure wish that kid had his driver's license. "

At 2:17am, City snow plow drivers were still sleeping, State Highways, one lane swiped, hard to see lines, but, it's always hard to see lines at 72.

Soon, back FedEx to pu son. Two lanes clear now per TV dudes driving around in it.

One of these days I'll get to the post office to mail that letter.

That's fancy for, WATCHOUT FOLKS,  HE AINT GOTS NO GF TO HIDE HIS KEYS!

Happy day, drive safe,

Love, Victurd

Romper, stomper, bomper boo

Magic mirror... I see you!

Roll call....

Albert?  "Hey hey hey!"

Archie? "Yeah, here.. don't draw me no diaphragms."..

Astro?  "Ruh roh.."

Bernie?

Bernie?  I think he stiffed us.

Bevis?  "Heh-heh."

Buehler?   Buehler?

Donald?  "YOU'RE FIRED!"

Emeril?   "BAM!"

Fonzie?  "Aaaaay!"

Geraldine?  "What you see is what you get"... ahm, nvmnd, we can't use h... anymore.

Homer?  "Do'h!  The boy did it!"

James?  "Bond... James Bond."

Johnny?  "Come on down!"

John McClane? "Yippee Ki Yay...."  OK! Thank you

Lurch?  "You rang?"

Paris?  "That's hot!"

Regis?  "Is that your final question?"

Walter?  "And that's the way it is."

Point being, characters. Most of those are familiar.  We don't need no "Extra, extra, read all about it."

Real life, even with a scorecard... ya just never know...

Mosta the above, we've visited their households, kinda sorta.

The guy (or gal) you're right behind in line at the Piggly... searching deep into their pocket/purse to come up with correct change to pay... we're in a hurry, grow impatient... very well could be social anxiety disorder and this is ten times as tough on them than it is on us.

The one we held the door for.. we gotta nod insteada "thanks"... Just lost their mom... maybe diagnosed with lymphoma.. 3rd week of sobriety... fighting demons head on.

The mom who surprised you when she frustratingly snapped at her 3 year old.. what we didn't notice was that her makeup covered the bruise from where her boyfriend knocked her to the ground last night..

The gent in the third pew at church, like clockwork, the First Sunday of the month proudly places his check of tithe in the collection basket. He never really talks, but that's because he'd heard his entire childhood how he'd never amount to anything.

He..  he just came from the assisted care facility where he spent two hours with his wife... who'd asked him two times "what was your name again?"

Her... the one who saw the infant in the carrier.. mixed smile with face of remorse... as she'd had a stillborn child 23 years ago.

People are amazing. The struggle is real and very definately more present than we'll ever know.

Victor, I hear you, but..  the part I don't get... the opening... the attempt at, association with, humor.

I do do... I do do probably try to influx humor (I know I know, attempted humor) too often in life.

That said, I think it's a fitting part to a recipe for life.  This is where I 'just my take', hopefully not preach.

Smiles. Hugs. Kindness (why not, ya just never know), Golden rule. Listening skills.  The ability (sometimes I suck at this) to NOT blurt, hurt.

I'm positive.... I think.. (That's the title to the book I'll never write.)

TV, movie characters we know, love, like a book.

Everyday people, perhaps not so much.

Outtards oft times don't match, nor explain, innards.

Oh, and drink more Ovaltine, right Ralphie.

Life can be a bitch... and will shoot your eye out if not approached, or at least attempted to approach, in kindness.

We fail (occasionally). Every. Last. One. Of. Us.

Human, interest.

May good fill your day,

Love, Victurd

6 days ago...

Five dudes and I were sitting in the sauna at the Community Center yesterday..  the deep heat lent us all a brief respite from the continuing gloom of Mother Nature here locally. 

This Winter KC has transformed our nickname from The City of Fountains, to, The City of Mountains, as in parking lots, roadsides, there've been a heaping helping never melting tall pile after tall pile of... snow.

With the exception of folks who patronized the now legal dispensaries, we all have forgotten what grass looks like.

Presto, some 40 degree temps, even one day of 50, melting, "look, I can see the green on hole #15!"... and then whoomp, ther' it is, more cold, more snow, more mountains.

As the six of us dudes sat around discussing the impending forecast next week (first day of the week projected to be in excess of 20 degrees is Saturday.).. some smartass (uh huh, you guessed it) offered "yeah, but at least we've got the Chiefs."

Sauna temp went from one-fitty to 60 in a sweat drop... as I looked around I felt like I was a stranger at the dog park and five of em were snarling at me.

Point being, we made it past whateverinthehell that was last Sunday in The Big Easy... The Big Easy for the Eagles.

The little redheaded singing snotnose was right... the sun'll come out. .. kinda.. the kids even went back to school two days last week. Grief counseling?  No, weather.

If ya puff your chests out during parades, ya gotta suck it up when the same team charades as an NFL champ, ie, instead, chump.

America got its wish..  the Election?  No, the R O L A I D relief from Mahomes, Andy, Chris, whyinthehell do they keep showing her, and, her boyfriend, who, in this game, looked more like 87 than 35.

A genuine buttkicking.  Happens. Did to Brady.  Manning. Elway,  hell even Bradshaw and Bart Starr. Who?  See? Maybe one day we'll forget.

Just another bump in life's road. Like, when your honey threw your class ring in your face. HEY, WAIT A MINUTE, SHE NEVER GAVE IT BACK!

The day you finally had to send the '71 Volkswagen convertible to the yard of bones.

What? CHAPTER 7?  OH SH*T. Honey, where'd I put my resume'?

Honey? Oh sh*t, whar'd she go?

I jest, kinda. 

Sometimes life is like a sandwich of only two pieces of bread.

Thankfully,  it's also incredible.  A peanut butter and banana sandwich.  Victor? You mean PB&J?  No.

Or, a 300 burger. Perfection.

Having children. A new house, car.  Over the river and through the woods to Grandmother's house we went.

Family. Beloved inlaws. I even remember that time a few years back I actually got to repair a golf divot.

Grandkids.

Friends, laughs, gorgeous weather, birthday cakes, retirement parties, weddings, blockbuster movies, binging Netflix, scratching your hound's back to get his back paw running like 60.

Singing in the car. Watching the stars. A firepit with friends encircled and the smoke ain't going in anyone's face.

Laundry done, house clean, take a ride in the country?  Family,  class reunions. Hugs, a spatula turning life back over, joyously looking in the rear view mirror with the certainty of 'objects may be (probably are) fatter than they appear.

What were we talking about?

Oh yeah, Patrick. 

To everyone within earshot..  the Pacific..  the Atlantic... the Gulf of....whatever, we made it. With Gloria Gaynor as our role model, we made it.  We will survive.

I love rock and roll, put another dime ($6) in the jukebox baby.

With age brings rust (Tin Man). Occasionally we lose our gourd (Scarecrow). We blurt, occasionally forgetting our heart (Cowardly Lion).  Whatever shortcomings life throws us, we continue down the yellow brick road. 

In times of 2 and 14 seasons (we've had 22 losing seasons) we'll faithfully follow, root for, them red slippers.

Forward by Dorothy, SpongeBob (Patrick too), Gloria, BFF's, family, Srixon, junkyard dogs, Tubthumping, Elvis (I can't throw it and catch it too) Grrrrbac, sauna dudes, Jake from State Farm, Swifties everywhere, even Jalen, hurts, Louie (what a wonderful world), Charles (it was the best of times), even Lucy, who yanked the damn ball and kept Charlie from Buttkicking the Eagles. (Witchy woman). MISOGYNIST, AM NOT!

Cause I got a peaceful easy feeling.. and i know you won't let me down... 

But if you do, we'll get back up again

LET'S GO ROYALS!

Honey, did you buy bananas?

Honey?

Love, Victurd 

Matter...

Or, 4:33am thoughts.

Happy Valentines Day. Does your heart still go pitter patter?  Does it even matter?

How doest thou juggle ones day?

Hit the snooze button... twice?

Hell to the no, I'm retired, what alarm?

Ya make your way to the kitchen. Assuming coffee is among the first ball of the day you juggle.

Are you a drip kinda guy, gal... or, onea the K-cup variety? (Victor, you forget Expresso as well as French coffee press.)

Color me po', a simpleton (Always Save, Great Value, whateva Piggly calls their cheap crap), thus, I'm a drip kinda person. You? Matter?

Next ball. Newspaper? Still get ink on your fingers, or, the E type?

No newspaper for me, too depressing, gimme NPR, Wordle, Sudoku, a good book, or, Barney, Andy, Ope on WeTV.

Did you do the 'hup 2, 3 4' (ie, you're disciplined, hella organized, your day is planned out hour to hour)... or, Que sera sera.. lunch is long range planning for me. You? Matter?

Approximately WHEN do you first orate the word Love in your day?  Sometimes, baby kiss on mates cheek as you 'woke up, fell outta bed'... or.. when you pet Rover, let him out to pee?..  live alone, when you first look in the mirror? Or, love was never said at our house, why would I do, say that?

My sister. I love, loved, miss her so, in spite of when, I was 11, she 16, purposely would look in the mirror, tying to get a rise out of me (aka Alfred E Neuman) and she'd  say "Oh Vanda, I love you so, you are SO beautiful!" Worked (the rise, accompanied aggrevation). Oh what I'd give to hear, relive that again.

When those tootsies (woke up, fell outta bed) hit the floor, do you instantly know the date, day of the week, approximate checking account balance, what the scale will tell you when you tromp on it? How much gas is in the car?

Who are the people in your neighborhood... no, ain't it, sorry Elmo.. who are some of the people your brain hones in on early in the day? Will you, do you, then contact them. Go see em? They visit you?

Do you know, like, ignore the people in your neighborhood? 

Would your grandkids even know whatintheheck a checking account is? Hanging up the phone? Dial granny for me?

Dis' positiom, dat position...Sleep on your back... side..  tummy... 2nd bedroom (he/she snores). Pets allowed in bed, or, do they allow you in bed? On the couch?

Do you wake up, fall outta bed in a good mood or do you need some kinda jumper cables to induce that first smile?

Victor, page two of blog and you ain't even mentioned pee.

Thanks... 6 to 7 times a day we pee... grumpy old men quite a few more... sweet old ladies who've borned kids, pee a bit when they laugh.. sneeze. MISOGYNIST!  AM NOT!

Do you drive at, over, under the speed limit? Tailgate? Hate, slow down when tailgated?  Driven 7 miles on Interstate before you notice your turn signal is on?

Are you average? They say, peek at your phone 80+ times a day.  Answer a call you have no idea it is? Stalk someone's photos on Facebook?  VICTOR, where'd you get that one?  Does it matter? I once read some people do that. 

Do you 'hit the brake' from the passenger seat?  Freely give driving suggestions? 

You ever get disinterested reading a blog, go play Solitare halfway through.

I hate you. JK. It is said to never orate the word hate. Are we going to hell if we think it?  I mean, how harmful is it to say (or think) "I hate seafood?"  Sorry Charlie.

Do you like rap?  At Christmas,  wrap your own or buy onea them cheapie bags, cover the gift with colorful tissue?

Ever think "I wish he'd wrap this up."

OK OK.

First. A funeral. What matters?  All the matter collected? Funerals always bring a sense of sadness.  My own personal take, what matters most to me is, in walking to the car after, "what a nice, nice person he/she was... missed. They'll be missed. That matters."

You matter to me. I hope you have a nifty day, pay homage to Russell Stover, the FTD driver... and, if you're lucky, to Motel 6.

Huh?

Yeah, "I'll leave the light on...dim."  Attire don't matter.

Pitter patter..  may your day, life, be full of matter.

Love, Victurd

Oh the weather outside is frightful

Burns my butt,  is not delightful

And since I've got places to go

Go away, go away go away,

It doesn’t show signs of stopping

Outta egg$, I gotta go shopping

Not a fan, I'm here to say

Go away, go away go away.

Weathermen can kiss my... grits.  

Driving in it gives me the... diarrhea..

How I’ll hate going out in this crap

Color me a grumpy old sap..

All the way home I’ll be fussing, 

Taut, white knuckles, assuredly cussing

The fire for seasons is slowly dying

January, February we’re still good-bye-ing

Spring, I  love you so..

(Winter/snow) go away, go away go away.

Poem end. Bad, sorry. Kinda.

I hate it, and I know some don't mind it.

Not me, cause it's cold, I canardly find it.

Pitchers and catchers today... (snow) go away go away go away.

Robin, Robin, as quick as you can,

I may have to become an Orioles fan....  

By Henry Gibson (shrinkage, sorry, kinda)

Love, Victurd

Victurd? Are you really 70-something?

OUCH!

Sorry sucker. Next snowball might have a rock in it.

re(3)peat after me...

Don't know much about history
Don't know much biology
Don't know much about a science book
Don't know much about the French I took

Well, not true. History at least. I couldn't tell Napoleon and Sonny Bono apart but I (many of us in our small town) grew up, and KNOW,  The Kansas City Chiefs. Memories, oh the memories.

But I do know that I love you
And I know that if you love me, too
What a wonderful world this would be (if we'd win.)

Actually, it's been wonderful, will be, no matter the outcome. From the first blade of grass that came from GeorgeToma, the first roll of athletic tape from Wayne Rudy, to the air horn Henry Stram blew as the players matriculated down the hill from Brown Gym.

Don't know much about geography
Don't know much trigonometry
Don't know much about algebra
Don't know what a slide rule is for

Well, not necessarily all that, but, the Chief's know and abide by the rules. Anyone who feels otherwise.. well... whatever.

But I do know one and one is two
And if this one could be with you
What a wonderful world this would be

And, one and one and one is three, in a row.

Now, I don't claim to be an A student
But I'm trying to be
For maybe by being an A student, baby
I can win your love for me

Well, you know. Sorry about the 'I' (akin to 'D') on my 6th grade math test Mrs. McCarty, but did you see the back page where I had the names of EVERY Chief (spelled correctly) along with their specific # (the correct ones.) Holub/55 + Dawson/16 + Stenerud/3 = 74. Ain't that (good) math?

Don't know much about history
Don't know much biology
Don't know much about a science book
Don't know much about the French I took

True Dat, but I can tell you we had a great lineman whose first language was French, AND, the NFL's first ever to get a medical degree. Laurent Duvernay-Tardif. He knew offsides, holding and science, biology.

But I do know that I love you
And I know that if you love me, too
What a wonderful world this would be

Before we finally won the affinity of the zebras, we suffered through 22 (count em, TWENTY-TWO) sub .500 seasons.

That's certainly not the only losses we've absorbed:  Stone Johnson, Mack Lee Hill, Jim Tyrer, Joe Delaney, Derrick Thomas, Javon Belcher, to name a few (too many).

La ta ta ta ta ta ta (History)
Hmm-mm-mm (Biology)
La ta ta ta ta ta ta (Science book)
Hmm-mm-mm (French I took)

Red Coaters, Huddle Club, Ring of Fame, Chiefettes, Cheerleaders, Warpaint, BBQ, 
Red Friday, Arrowhead (What's a GEHA?), even Municipal, Hall Of Famers (25 total, Mrs. McCarty, I know math!)

Yeah, but I do know that I love  you
And I know that if you love me, too
What a wonderful world this would be

If it ain't meant to be it ain't meant to be. We've been thru 'we no likey ' the Raiders, Elway, Manning, Brady, that Burrow guy.

Football, and our love is not for the birds, however you see fit to use that.

O'er the land of the free..  and the home of the...

CHIEF'S!!!

Bring it MaHomes Patrick, Travis, Chris Jones, Andy. Lift us Karlaftis.

A kajillion teenyboppers can't be wrong.  We're Taylormade for a 3-peat.

Sorry. Not really.

Love, Victurd

Do me a fervor....

Wha.. ?

Huh?...

Forward, march....

When you're down and troubled and you need some loving care...

I go through my 'uhhgs' just like the next Jack or Jill... but...

I got to thinking this morning...

I've decided life is perty darn good, I'm lucky and I have MUCH to look forward too!

I ain't talking like waiting, going on a cruise... (could be I guess)... but, if that's the boat that floats your boat, nice, and more fervor toya...

I'm a simpleton.. little things loom large.. 

I can't wait for... Wordle..  Daily Sudoku... the good, fun, happy stuff on Facebook...

The sport's page... the ability to play weed eater and scroll past, or, choose to read goodies in the newspaper that intrigue me and sometimes even inform me.

You.

You there?  What's your fervor in life?

Sneaking a baby good morning kiss, even with the realization the brush and the toothpaste better be your next stop?

Are you onea them that can't wait to step outside (that's me, Winter Spring Summer or Fall), crank that car (Yay! TY for [almost always] starting!)... and from there it's on to.....

The Community Book Pantry in hopes of a 300 page paperback by your favorite author? Or, maybe your perk, fervor, is the 6 books you brought in the WallyWorld sack you're donating so others can have good reads?  Kudos.

Little in life is big. You an artist with ingredients, recipes, pinches, tsp's, tblsp's... stove, stovetop, deep fryer, yada, and, seeing your 'artwork' shared via fork and spoon, thereby creating smiles and full bellies?

It's so easy to fall in fervor,

It's so easy to fall in fervor...

It seems so easy, 

Yeah, so doggone easy 

Oh it seems so easy...

Uh huh, we could look at things differently....glumly..

Darkly....

But seems when we allow. .it's so easy to fall in fervor...

I'm unique, just like you...

My fervor, your fervors...

Sunrises, sunsets, water, seeing smiles, happy, little kids, oldsters holding hands... a BIG beef burrito from Rancho Grande.  Yeah, I know that don't fit in the sentence, but that's the beauty of fervor...

The County Fair... tiny goblins and witches on Halloween... 

A snow angel... may take awhile, but, the ability to get back up.

A game of catch... as November rides into December the growing number of light displays...

The clank of an aluminum bat and a slide into home.. the 'organized ' 4 yr old soccer game, some lil' gal with gorgeous curly locks, purple team, well on her way to score a goal at the wrong end, 20 parents screeching, 20 more ready to roll on the ground from laughing.

A text. Caller ID when it brings a smile.. seeing a classmate in the aisle at Piggly...

A moving sermon.  Body parts that may ache, but, they're still moving.  Gettin' ridda those damn ear hairs in fronta the mirror.

A PB&J, mebbe fervor for you is a BLT... or, a jog at the YMCA..

I have fervor for people I ain't met yet. The rear view mirror.  Color me a weirdo, I have fervor in looking forward to remembering back.

Girl Scout Cookies. A parade.  A dog on a walk, what's happier than that?!!

A deer or seven when they ain't in the roadway. A snake, headed, the other way.

Quiet.  Peace.  Girls night out. A golf foursome with familiar geezers.

Hearing the furnace come on on a brrrrr night. Walking in the rain. Coming in outta the rain.

A campground, fireplace, fireworks, a fat cat zonked atop the sofa. That heavenly plunge into bed at the end of a fervor day..

So little, so much.

Easily entertained I guess I am.

I hope you are too.

I'm in fervor of it.

Oh yeah, the game on Sunday.

Love, Victurd Schultze (Distant cousin of Charles Schulz)

(One more... the fact that AI or whover it is..  once I type 'Vi....' up pops Victurd in suggestive type. My typecast fervor, so to speak...or type)

Mice, men... women too...

Goldilocks prolly had acne... Pinnochio flunked PE because he couldn't do pushups...  I am the walrus, goo-goo g'joob, and sadly, they prolly oughta not bow their fanged head in prayer.

The fire station burned down..  

They robbed the police station...

The pilot had a fear of heights... the lifeguard couldn't swim...

And neither Dee Ford or Kadarius Toney could see their toes.

I'm a HUGE fan of AbbyNormal, "that wasnt supposed to happen".... America's Funniest Videos..   High heeled runway models tripping, getting up (of course I don't want em hurt), walking on, .and then giving their best 'nothing happened' look.

I hate (love..  pee a bit) when that happens.

I giggle when Billy Businessman dons dress khakis outta the dryer, heads for the commuter train without realizing there's a pair of his wife's black lacy undies static-electronically glued to the butt of his pants.

The lady walking outta the squatter with an 18" trail of TP coming from the left leg'a her slacks.

Watching local news this morning.  I know America presently hates us in Kansas City. 

That said, our eyes, ears are heightened here for the goings on both here, and, in The Big Easy (Super Bowl, Sunday, Nola).

Weather dude was infronta his big screens telling us what to wear the next week... and allofasudden ya see a lady in a Chief's red dress behind the screen, ducking, hiding her face as she hustled across, no doubt on her way for an unexpected pee.

Then, every local station has their regular anchors, producers, however many the boss would pay for, on site in New Orleans - leaving the snotnose broadcasters and budding production crew back home in KC.

They 'toss' the stage from KC to the perfectly dressed in red and gold co-anchors in Nola.  There's that always uncomfortable few seconds delay (allowing for another swig of coffee)...

The two give the normal and smooth prattle about Chief's fans in town... events for fans, kids.. who's eating gumbo, beignets, jambalaya, goodbye Joe, me gotta go, and where to go to get it.

Then, the men (actually a male and female anchor) toss it back to the mice (snotnose upcomers holding KC fort down) with the kinda sorta breaking news lead-in "And here's video of a former Kansas City Chief getting inducted into the Hall of Fame."

But, snotnose electronic person (said lovingly) instead of showing the KC Hall of Fame guy walking down the runway - they showed a regular ole regular video of the present day Chief's, laying on their backs doing stretching exercises.  It was as uncomfy as a first date fart.

The veterans in Nola mostly gracefully wiggled out of it, and eventually threw it back to the newbies in KC.

As the pretty #3 in line for morning anchor spoke..  very clearly you hear the veteran anchor dude in Nola say (assumingly in explanation of the wrong video) "and then she said 'OH SHIT'...

I'm still cleaning the coffee up that I spit out with accompanying laughter.

Life would be really really boring if everything went as planned. 

Cotton to me a sec.... Victor,  is this where you tell a story for the 12th time?

NO!  Eleventh.

Years and years ago, as Cowboy Bob's kid radio show wrapped up... he'd forgotten to flip off his microphone...

"THERE, that oughta please the little bastards!"

Have a great day, Go Chiefs (sorry, not really)

Oh, and I recommend Victor mousetraps.

Love, Victurd

Who the heck am I?

I was born in 1940, a tad premature at 4.5 pounds. Our house had 2 football teams.

Huh?

Yeah, I am one of 22 children of my father.  We lived in Tennessee.

Shortly after my birth we moved and took the last train to Clarksville, TN to live. Dad was a railway Porter and Mom was a maid at various houses in town.

I was kinda sickly... for a long time. Yeah.  Pneumonia.. Scarlet Fever.. and at age five I contracted infantile paralysis caused by the poliovirus.

Victor. Unlike you to write a non sports blog.

Stay tuned.

The Doctor told me and mom I'd never walk again.  Mom told the Doctor, "Yes she will."  I was little, I didn't know.

Stay tuned.

I survived polio but I lost strength in my leg and foot.  Since we were African American, there was very little medical care available in Clarksville.

So.... a needle pulling thread.  No, that ain't it.

So.... for two years, mom and I made weekly bus trips to the historically black  Meharry Medical College for treatments, in Nashville,  TN, some 50 miles from home.

I wore a leg brace for years, but, when we weren't in Nashville, my family would take the brace off and massage my leg four times a day. With 21 siblings, Lotta hands were available. 

Thankfully,  by the time I was 12 I was able to forever take the leg brace (and the orthopedic shoe I had to wear off).... AND...

WhatsUp Doc?  I CAN WALK.

AND, pretty soon, ran. I started playing basketball.. and, running (hear that Doc?) running track.

My sophomore year in HS, I set a record in basketball for points in a season.  They said I was pretty quick so they called me Skeeter.

The track coach at Tennessee State, located in Nashville, saw me, wanted me to come there and run on the track team.

Had some stuff to tend to first, the birth of my daughter Yolanda my senior year... then I went, and man did I run.

Our coach actually was our Olympic track coach in 1956 in Melbourne. Many countries protested Russia's invasion of Hungary and boycotted - but, proudly, four of us Tennessee State Tigerbelles teamed up to take bronze in the 4 X 100 relay.

Fast forward four years to the 1960 Olympics, I was 'the bomb' if I do say so myself... well, me and a couple of guys Cassius Clay... Oscar Robertson...

I won three, count 'em Doc, 

THREE gold medals... I won the 100 meter dash, becoming the first Americsn female to win it since Helen Stephens did in the 1936 Olympics.

(Blogger tidbit, Helen Stephens was from Fulton, Missouri and went to school with the blog writer's parents.)

Back to Wilma... oops.  She also won the 200, and, in spite of almost dropping the baton in her anchor leg of the 4 X 100 meter relay, she caught and passed the German runner for the Gold.

The folks in Rome were calling me "La Chattanooga Choo Choo"!

They wanted to have a segregated parade for me in Tennessee (no thank you), but, my good ole Clarksville had a really nice one for all to attend.

Nice ta meet ya, I'm Wilma Rudolph.

I KNEW it'd be about sports.

No you didn't.

"Never underestimate the power of dreams and the influence of the human spirit. We are all the same in this notion: The potential for greatness lives within each of us."  Wilma Rudolph

Winning is great, sure, but if you are really going to do something in life, the secret is learning how to lose. Nobody goes undefeated all the time. If you can pick up after a crushing defeat, and go on to win again, you are going to be a champion someday.

Wilma Rudolph

Happy day,

Love, Victurd

Culture club...

Oh I could hide 'neath the wings of the bluebird as she sings, the six o'clock alarm would never ring..

But it rings and I rise, wipe the sleep out of my eyes, my shavin' razor's cold and it stings.

Ahm, Victor. That ain't Culture Club, that's The Monkees... and I thought I remembered you (purposely) shave in your car at intersections with portable razor so people will look at you funny.

True Dat, it was just today's version of 'woke up, fell outta bed'....make coffee, pee, drink coffee, pee s'more... my culture, so to speak.

Same ole same ole, wake up... the hell do I write about, or, should I even.. (sorry, decided to.)

Culture intrigues me.  After coffee, pee, usually next up is to Google the word I kinda wanna write about, so I did.  Culture.

Culture Club popped up, I'm ancient, had no idea Boy George was the lead singer, but that ain't what this is about.

One of my favorite persons in the World is a fella named Dave.  He's an 83 year old educator who spent the last half of his working career as Superintendent... retired.. asked him back.. did... twice.

I met him at the Community Center, in the hot tub, with a crew of a couple others.

Dave impressed me because conversation was never about him. He wanted to learn any, everything about us, the other three folks in the tub.

He listened intently, smiled frequently..  s'more visits learnt me he had tremendous recall.  Impressive, nice, kind, fun dude.  He found out that at one time I taught and coached, and that intrigued him.

He asked "why" I got into education, specifically PE..  I stumbled thru "well, my dad traveled for work so I only got to see him on weekends (and, don't get me wrong, I couldn't have asked for a better father.)...

That said, my Monday thru Friday male role models were coaches."

That was boring Victor.  Get to the topic, culture.

So, I learned Dave was  Superintendent..  he'd asked me all kinds if cool questions about me, "why... how long.. what'd ya coach..what level, did you have a favorite", yada.

So..  I naturally wanted to pick his brain, but, the hell do I ask?  How was hiring and firing?  Staunch on a strict curriculum? Were parents a pain in the Ying yang?  No, I didn't ask any of that.

So I boomeranged a question he'd asked me... what is the most important first step for you when you are a Superintendent?

I envisioned answers of GPA's of teaching applicants,  two eyes on attendance so as to gain the max Federal funding...

He thought for a sec..  then answered, "The culture."

I thought that was really cool, I wanted to do a backflip and ask more, but, I was in the hot tub, skipped the backflip, then asked more.

Sure, he admitted hiring was a key, promoting those who'd earned it..  but I dug a story he'd told about the bus barn.

"Third day on the job I went to visit the folks, drivers, mechanics, supervisors at the bus barn.  I got there, saw, heard, fun. Music going, enjoyment happening... then, they frantically scattered, turned the music off...."

"I was kinda taken aback... so I asked the manager 'What happened,'  he said, 'Well, you're here.'...

"From that day on, once a month, I'd get a couple dozen donuts, sit with them on break.. learn about them, their spouses, kids. It was pretty cool, good people".

Second day I ever saw Dave I was met with a smile, a fist bump offer, and "Hi coach!"

Boy George, or Tom, Sally, Susie, Hazel, Sammy... if only if only all bosses, people, friends, coworkers, family members were as cool, nice,  caring as Dave.... what a culture we'd have!

I dunno if true, but I surmise we all, or most, have been at jobs, in relationships, with family, friends, athletic teams, church, social groups where the culture is good/yummy..  and conversely not-so-much.

Oh what a beautiful morning.  No, that ain't it, well... it is beautiful out (right Pux?)...

Oh what a beautiful feeling when culture is good.  Employees go the extra step. We wimpy hubbies might even finish, put away dishes, laundry before she gets home, then, foot rub after.

Culture not-so-good leads to poor employee attendance, company struggle, divorce, all kinds of addictions, poor choices, unhappiness, yada.

When Dave learned I coached girls/women's basketball he told me about a science teacher he'd hired:

"I offered him the job...but then I added, but, you'd also be the girl's basketball coach..   after some trepidation,  he consented. He went on to Coach 30 years, three State Championships, he's in the Iowa Sports Hall of Fame..."

So I asked, "Did he later thank you?"... Dave being Dave said, "NO!  I thanked him!"

Boy George, if only culture were like that allover.

Love, Victurd

How much wood coulda woodchuck chuck....

I was today old when I learned Punxatwaney is a woodchuck. Simpleton I am. I am not a hunter, but, if he sees his shadow today (Woodchuck Almanac predicting 6 more weeks of Winter) I vote, mole traps. Sorry, not really.  (Mole traps, REALLY, sorry, not really). I also don't think that would get me into the "shot a rabbit" Elvis friend club.

Band camp, backyard, raccoons were getting into trash, everything. Got a cage trap, played ReMax realtor to 2 or 3 of em, setting them up with (the OTHER side of the) Missouri Riverfront property.

Then, a week or so later:

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

I sprung from the bed to see what was the matter,

Away to the window I flew like a flash,

Tore open the shutters, and threw up the sash

Nope, wasn't Santa... it was Bux, Pux's cousin. He was trapped, kinda...looked, sounded like a damn tornado, flipping over in circles, strong strong metal bent so easily like a matchstick.

Bux strong. Hella strong. Must notta wanted Riverfront property, he was GONE, as in OUTTA THERE (the trap).

I think "at least a damn cord" is the answer... to... the how much wood question.

Where was I?  Oh yeah, February 2nd.

The hell now am I gonna do with 11 more months of gym membership?

Seven days until the Super Bowl... that's the only smidget I'll say on that as I'm aware 49 States are now Anti-Andy/Patrick/Travis/Taylor.

Eleven days until pitchers and catchers report.  Victor? Is that all you talk about, sports?

NOOOOOOO! I talk about old farts, snotnoses, Piggly Wiggly, Wally, annoying 90mph crotchrockets, tailgaters, women haters (I AM NOT A MISOGYNIST), itchy itchy rashes, derrieres, forgetting my teeth, Paul Harvey, Henry Gibson, Tim Conway, Barney and his bullet, and Weeeeeee Dogggies, Jed Clampett.

I keep thinking if I keep on writing and writing, Spring will get here.

46 days but who's counting.

326 more shopping days until Christmas. Jeans... size 36x30..no, wait.. 38x30... hang on, 40x30... oh sh*t, nevermind, sweat pants with an elastic wasteband😃.

Wiki say the groundhog is an extremely intelligent animal, forming complex social networks and it's capable of understanding social behavior, thus, hosting their own social network, Puxbook. (Last part Viki, not Wiki.)

I know, I'm bored too.

So, I'll thumb twiddle. Wiki learn me, contra-rotating thumbs VERY difficult for folks. (Normal thumb twiddling, both, same direction.)  I know, I tried too, couldn't do it.

Last one, promise. Always a favorite... grab your favorite snotnose, have them rub their belly and pat their head at same time. Almost always fun. If the punks can do it easily, have em try the opposite, rub head, pat belly.

Have a yummy Groundhog day. If you do see your shadow, I hope it ain't as big as mine.

I lied ("last one, I promise").  The next total solar eclipse visible from the US will be on August 24, 2044. I'll be (in an urn) 91. Bronze Mahomes will graduate from Texas Tech and be eligible for the NFL draft.

And, by then, we'll be on our 9th Pux from now (life expectancy, 2 to 3 years).

This blog ain't good, sorry.  The little redheaded snotnose kid reminds the sun'll come out, tomorrow....

Right Pux?

Love, Victurd

Woke up, fell out of bed...

If you laughed at me because of that, I have full intent to whack you with my cane. (I haven't bought it yet, but it's my next planned step toward 'ground'.) 

Ain't decided, IN the ground or on TOP of the ground. TOP is likely, due to love of lyrics (To everything urn, urn, urn... or mebbe All we are is dust in the wind.) You?

And, borrowing from Sheriff Buford T. Justice, if any of you sumbitches (males born roughly same decade as I) laughed at me waking up, falling out of bed. I might remind you, the next line of the song is "dragged a comb across my head" and odds are, you ain't got any, HA! (I'll trade ya 30% of my skin grafted scalp for 30% of your IRA, deal? 20?)

Ok, serious, how are you?

What's your game plan today?  Exercise?  Walk? Jog? Run?  If it's 'run', I'll probably jealously block you here.

Breakfast?  Favorite cereal? (Cinamon Toast Crunch, ok, cheapy Wally Great Life brand.)

Healthy eater, or, are you like me, order a Diet Coke to impress, or maybe water, then come home and finish half a box of chocolate pinwheel cookies? Yum.

Can you, within three days, tell me when your milk expires?

When asked, do you answer "I don't give a damn why the chicken crossed the road" in protest to egg prices?

Do you have chickens, or, would you anonymously call your HOA president if your neighbor did?

Whats the elevation where you live? No idea either. I just Googled, 863'.

When's the last time you... sang...  laughed... moonwalked... did The Twist.. Come on baby, let's do the Twist.

Recently, have you "chased each other 'round the room tonight and played the games you played on your wedding night'?

Sleep with a fan?  I have readers that sometimes enjoy my blogs, but, I wouldn't call them fans. If you sleep with fans, I'm Geritol proud (and envious) of you. More than one? FAMILY SIZE Geritol proud of you.

Night Owl? Early bird? How many on the planet know if you are an innie or an outtie?

Bathe daily, or, use that new crap that makes any smelly part not so smelly?

People spell your name wrong? Me, all the time.

Are you accomplished like me, after being introduced to someone and forgotten their name 7 seconds later? Care?

When's the last time a neighbor borrowed a cup of sugar? Asked for a ride? Twenty bucks?

Have you ever gone online, attempted to login to a favorite site, learned 'user name or password incorrect' said "screw it, don't wanna go there that bad anyways."

Which reminds me, last time you did a snow angel? Rode a bike? Hung a sheet out to dry?  Wasted 3 minutes on a stupid blog?

On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being get the hell away from me, and 10 being yum, let's chase each other round the room tonight, what number would you say your breath is?

Smokers? Ever lit one and set it down in the ashtray next to the other one you were still smoking on?

Gone out in public with shirt/blouse on inside out? Zipper down? (I enjoy texting buddies, male or female, across the room "Barn door's open.")

Talk to your dog?  They answer? Last time you changed your furnace filter?  Undies? Bra?  What's your "days in a row" same bra record? (Mine's 12, jk) Answer in comments please.

What's the last song you played on the juke box? Discretely worn a mask when you shop for gummies (or other) at the dispensary? 

What would happen if, at dinner time, you sat in the chair typically reserved for your mate?  Try it, lemme know.

Ever eat some Halloween candy of your kids after they went to bed?

Liar.

If Netflix is $7.99 (with ads) and $14.99 (no ads), when's the last time you 'Netfixed and chilled'?

I signed up for my Social Security to begin in October when I turned 65. Planned accordingly. Third Wedneday of that month, no check. Called, learned, "Oh yeah, there's a waiting month." I just asked a loved one to call them,  30 says after I keel to ask for my check. You gonna do same?

Ever step in dog poop, barefooted?  Seen Rover munch on a kitty 'tootsie roll'? Been targeted by a Canadian goose?

And last but certainly not least, how many push-ups can you do? Ok, one more. Ever worn a pushup bra?  I'M LEAVING I'M LEAVING!

Paul (McCartney,  Newman, Simon) Harvey (Korman, Wal banger, the rabbit)

Good day (and night)

Love, Victurd

(Some basta once said "reading your blog is like having three Jägerbombs, waking up, then asking 'why'd I do that." I hate their guts.)