I have questions.......

Songs ask questions.....

Who let the dogs out?   

I am an expert on this one (I Googled, read two paragraphs). It's actually about cats.  Or, catcalls.  The party was pumpin... having a ball..  fellas start name callin'..   the girls respond..  asking who let the dogs out.. man-bashing song.  Calm down, I feel men deserved to be bashed if this is the case.  (Side note... Of course I'm biased, but my ex is really, really perty... she usedta get upset if a guy 'catcalled', could be verbal, whistle, eyeball staring, goofy smiles.. anyways, I wouldn't blame her but I did tease "The time to worry is when you don't hear (catcalls) any longer.")  MISOGYNIST!  AM NOT!  ARE TOO! AM NOT!

Who wrote the book of love?  

Dick and Jane?  Dr. Seuss? Jane Austen?  Danielle Steele?  Dr. Ruth?  Masters and Johnson? George Carlin?

Is that all there is?

Yes, call Pizza Hut. ..  We're so sorry Uncle Albert, we're so sorry if we've caused you any pain but you'll have to run to 7/11 for more Old Style.  YES Peggy Lee, that's all.  Sorry if it gave you fever.

Are you lonesome tonight?

Kinda personal Elvis.. mebbe.  Eh, one site said "start with small talk.... hang out with like minded people (Scary ain it?).. Get active.. jump online.. Give "Yes" a go (Careful!).  Spending time on your own ain't a bad thing. 

Should I stay or should I go?

Whichever, at your age, pee before you do either. "If I go there will be trouble, and if I stay it will be double."  Flip a coin.  Phone a friend.  See that flattened squirrel in the road? Decide! (He couldn't, didn't)  JUST DO SUMPIN!....  If the Royals go to their Bullpen, I'd suggest getting a headstart on traffic.

What's it all about, Alfie?

Press One for English..  Would you like fries with that?  Have you tried rebooting?  Eeny, meeny, miny, moe, Catch a tiger by the toe.  You scream I scream we all scream for ice cream.  Love hurts.  Meet me at midnight, Mary.

Why can't we be friends?

Ahm, your breath smells.   I'm ok with lonesome.  I gotta run, someone let all the dogs out.  Be for real, you're voting for whatshisname.  Sure, let's.

Does your chewing gum lose it's flavor on the bedpost overnight?

No, I put my dentures in a cup of water, gum stays pretty fresh.

Do you hear what I hear?

Uh huh.  Barking.  Jack and Diane down by that shady tree.  Lonesome George Gobel mumbling.  Rachel, Monica, Phoebe, Joey, .Chandler, Ross, being Friends.  A Doublement commercial.

How much is that doggie in the window?

Don't do that. Go to the pound, adopt.  Mr. Merchant, please let the dog out.

Who do you think you are?

Don't you know who I am?  MR. BIGSTUFF.  I'm Bart Simpson, whothehell are you?  Bond. James Bond.  My name is Jose Jimenez.  The one and only Billy Shears.  I'm a loser, I'm a loser, And I'm not what I appear to be.  I am the walrus, Goo-goo-g'joob. 

Does anybody really know what time it is?   

5:41am in Liberty, MO.  4:11am in Agra, India (don't ask, it's always 30 minutes different), 3:31am in Puerto Penasco, MX.. 12:41pm in Paris.  It's always 5 o'clock somewhere.

Have you ever seen the rain?

Yes, played in it. Danced in it.  Ran from it.  Cussed at it. Grateful for it.  Seen it so bad, hadta pull over to the side'a the road.  Rain-X is perty cool.  Be like a duck. Calm on the surface, but always paddling like the dickens underneath.

Do you want to know a secret?

• The Beatles were very close to a record deal, and John Lennon wanted to marry. Their manager, Brian Epstein, was very upset, as he had been pitching the boys as four good-looking single chaps from England. Lennon could not be talked out of the wedding, so Epstein made him a deal. As the two could not afford a honeymoon, and did not have a place of their own, he would let them use his flat for two weeks, with the promise that they not tell anyone they were married. In the flat on their honeymoon, for obvious reasons, John wrote "Listen, do you want to know a secret?" John has said that the secret in question wasn't necessarily that he was married, but that he finally realized he was actually in love. >>

Sorry, not sorry I'm weird.

Love, Victurd

Chuck Taylor.......

It's a sports thing, kinda.  

I did a quick Wiki scan on him...  Chuck Taylor was a pretty darn good basketball player.  Born in 1901, he was country (basketball) when country (basketball) wasn't cool... or, well, hadn't been around that long. At age 18, he became a semi professional basketball player for The Converse All Stars and it wasn't long before he became the player, coach.

Soon....... he was actually hired by the Converse Rubber Shoe Company... continued too in his role as player-coach of the traveling baskeball team. Early 20's, he went to the corporate office of Converse in Chicago, suggested a new design for their tenny boppers, put a Star on the circle that was a protective patch for the ankle, signed his name to it......... presto......"Chuck Taylor Converse All-Stars".. 

He spent a lifetime peddling the shoes from the trunk of his car... living year round in motels.. giving coaching clinics.. playing.. coaching.. peddling.  Wiki done said he was a salaried employee of Converse, and never really received a penny of commission from the "600 million pair of Chuck Taylors" sold.  From my shoes, I call a foul.  Or, traveling.  Or, I see the need for "Name Image and Likeness."

Victor, whereinthehell you going with this?  Well, reckon I ain't sure. Less'n you've lived under a rock, you shoulda heard of Chuck Taylors, maybe even owned a pair or six. They really did have 'stopping grip', but, tweren't much for comfort, arch support.  That said, they continue to sell in all kinds of colors today, moreso as a fashion thing, even for folks that ain't never shot a rabbit.. no, that ain't it.. even folks that ain't never shot a 3 pointer..

OK Victor, but where ya going?  I'm going for "The view from my Chuck Taylors"...

Life, people.  I have spent a lifetime, maybe we all do/have, beating myself up internally.  Rock'Em Sock'Em Robots up there in my brain.  I, we, all make errors.  I rehash, rehash, rehash, mine.  Shouldn't, but do.  You?  Thus, I have a compelling need, want, thirst for happy.

So........ I put on my Chuck Taylor's... and watch others.  How do they do it, or, do they?  Who is happy?  Who ain't? Canya figure out the 'why' to each?

Is it ok to think "Eww... I wouldn't want to spend a lot of time around that person."?  Conversely (mebbe Chuck Taylor pun built in) do you see those folks ya think "Gosh, I LOVE him/her, always a smile, even when they may not feel like it. Yeah baby!"

Ya make a list, a kajillion things on it.. these things appeal to ya... then, those things that make ya wanna upchuck, crawl up into a ball and go to bed.  Victor?  Upchuck?  Pun intended?  Mebbe, very perceptive you are.

Wearin' them Chuck Taylors..  it's a How to.  Peeking so you can do life yourself, ie, DIY.

Sure, we see folks error.  How do they react?  Forlorn?  Hold head down for'ever and ever?  Or do they smile, brush off and jump back in the game?'

Color me weird.  In a group of friends, if another friend walks in and I'm aware this friend's best friend is sitting right next to me, I'll move over a chair and offer 'em mine.  It's all about Chuck Taylor's, watching, learning, listening.  I ain't much on chit chat anways..  "Deathly quiet" someone recently termed it.  Hey, that's ok.  It's me.  Watching, learning, and si, loving life. (And trust me, two Miller Lites you'll be saying "Victor, shut the hell up!")

Chuck's.  Thanks Chuck's.  You done taught me a lot.  That person over there, I kinda learned from them "If one's mouth is always open, they ain't learning much about anything, anyone."  Them two over there, YUMMY smiles.  That's the way, uh huh uh huh, I like it.  Seemingly they like it, and smiles remind, life really is good.

I have a hard time putting into words what I'm trying to express.  I guess, it's 'people watching has been bery bery good to me.'  Like watchin' them Alaskan Gold shows on the Discovery Channel..  huge graders scoop up the Earth.. long ole conveyer belt, aided by water, sorts out the bad... it drops below.. much.. much down the belt.. and uh huh, yes... there in the pan (of life)... after sooooooooooo much sifting, GOLD.  Really good stuff. Chuck Taylor learning, watchin' stuff.

Road graders break down. Weather happens. Bosses get mad.  Bosses praise. Hard work, persistency pays off.  I wonder if you can buy Chuck's that are colored Gold?

The morel is..........  NO Victor, that's the damn mushroom. Yain't never found one anyways. True, but I know to many they are kinda like gold.

The moral is...... watch..  learn..  love.... smile..   enjoy... don't beat yourself up too bad, the conveyor belt of life will take care of that.

These Chucks were made for walkin'...  (and watching, learning.)

Love, Victurd

I know an old blogger who swallowed boredom.....

I know an old lady who swallowed a fly

I don't know why she swallowed the fly
Perhaps she'll die

I know an old lady who swallowed a spider
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly
But I don't know why she swallowed the fly
Perhaps she'll die

No cause for alarm.  "Americans eat, on average, two pounds of flies, maggots and other bugs each year," according to a Scientific American 

I know an old lady who swallowed a bird
How absurd to swallow a bird
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly
But I don't know why she swallowed the fly
Perhaps she'll die

The cassowary has been known to kill human beings with slashing blows of its feet,, as the innermost of its three toes bears a long daggerlike nail. The bird has been observed moving rapidly along narrow tracks in the bush, sprinting as fast as 50 km (31 miles) per hour.

I know an old lady who swallowed a cat
Imagine that. she swallowed a cat
She swallowed the cat to catch the bird
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly
But I don't know why she swallowed that fly
Perhaps she'll die

(Cat-Scratch Fever)People with cat-scratch disease have a red, painless bump at the site of the scratch, and some have a fever, headache, poor appetite, or swollen lymph nodes. In people with a weakened immune system, the infection may spread throughout the body and, without treatment, may result in death. 

I know an old lady who swallowed a dog
What a hog to swallow a dog
She swallowed the dog to catch the cat
She swallowed the cat to catch the bird
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly
But I don't know why she swallowed that fly
Perhaps she'll die

In the 13-year period of January 1, 2005 to December 31, 2017, canines killed at least 433 Americans. (They prolly deserved it.)

I know an old lady who swallowed a goat
Opened her throat and down went the goat
She swallowed the goat to catch the dog
She swallowed the dog to catch the cat
She swallowed the cat to catch the bird
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly
But I don't know why she swallowed that fly
Perhaps she'll die

Some goats may always require a second pair of hands during handling or require halter training to keep everyone safe. More confrontational goats can injure humans with kicks or horns if they feel particularly concerned with handling.   (Dunno about deathly, but can be really baa-aaa-aaa-aad.)

I know an old lady who swallowed a cow
I don't know how she swallowed the cow
She swallowed the cow to catch the goat
She swallowed the goat to catch the dog
She swallowed the dog to catch the cat
She swallowed the cat to catch the bird
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly
But I don't know why she swallowed that fly
Perhaps she'll die

The average cow weighs 1,100 lbs.  The average human consumes 57 pounds of beef per year.  Thus, every 19.29 years, a human eats an entire cow.

I know an old lady who swallowed a horse
She's alive and well of course

Because horse meat is commonly eaten in many countries in Europe and Asia. Stay off 'em though, 710 horse riders per year die.

Boredom is hard to swallow but it will go down.

Forward by Peter, Paul (Harvey) and Mary

Love, Victurd

Filling in the blanks......

Life is about, painting, I reckon.  One's day, the canvas so to speak, up there on that easel, the sucker ain't gots nuttin on it.  I have heard fun kiddos refer to it as "A rabbit in a snowstorm."

"It's so fine and it's so terrible to stand in front of a blank canvas."  Paul Cezanne

It's Opening Day in baseball, everyone's record is blank.  Damnit darnit Victor, it took you 56 words to get to Sports. Eh, whatever.

The baby. That one, over there.  Just born.  Nice!  He, she, a life to live - born without any comprehension of love, hate, prejudice, economics, likes, dislikes, religion-which (or not), much........ much to be filled in in the blanks of life. Shake and bake - hope he, she has good, loving role models, lives in, learns from, a village - or, on a homestead out in the boonies if that be the case.  Life, fill 'her up Ethel.

Life is too... kind of a test.  As a kid, student, my favorite kinda test was true/false. We've determined in past blogs, I'm a simpleton, ie, months and months of pouring over old local newspapers leading up to our 50th HS Class reunion, I found virtually each and every 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th Quarter Honor Roll list.. Hey?  Where's my name?   Simpleton.

I liked true false tests because........... the way I see it, you gotta fitty percent chance to be correct.  So, if I knew the answers to halfa the questions (good start Victor, TY), then, all I hadta do was guess and hopefully get halfa the rest correct......... presto, 75%, C, M, whatever you call it, that be me.

Multiple choice, eh..  not so much...  Essay.. well, there's the ole "you can fool all of the people some of the time" but that crap didn't work with teachers.  So no to essay tests.

Fill in the blanks, hard.  Difficult.

That blank canvas..  That lil' baby in the nursery.  How do we do it?  "Honey?  I ain't never changed a diaper before..YOU do it."  Ahm, George, we need to talk. A lot.

Influence comes from (this ain't Victor talking, it's Google) "educators, family, friends, coworkers, healthcare providers, community leaders.."  Yeah?  I reckon.

Like the little "I think I can I think I can" train a rollin' down the tracks, or, perhaps the big ole Airbus going down the runway - soon, takeoff happens and we're entrusted to fill in the blanks of our lives - with our own two feet.

Much, (OK yes, this is me talking) much, I feel, influences.. Our folks.  Our socio-economic status.  Our religious (or not) upbringing.)  The sandbox. The sandbox's location.  Playground.  Commute. Athletic teams (sorry, not sorry). Neighbors. Adults (when we're termites... who do we trust and why.. and what happens if that trust is shaken?)... ...

Direction?  Where do ya go, whadda ya do?  How'd you get where you're at, and  I don't really mean "Well, we used Atlas Van Lines"... I'm talkiing stuff like your job, your mate, your political (or not) take, your frugality (or not), do ya like good music, yeah yeah, that sweet soul music?... Sir, may I have another heapin' helpin of that Sushi?  YUCK, not for me.  How do we know?  Learn?  Get there?

Yes, I think mates play a huge role.  Ya get home from the Hospital. Twelve baby showers, a full pantry, a den fulla plastic crap for little Johnny to jump up, play with.. but, ya ask "the hell do we do now Mabel?"  And while we fill in our own blanks, we simultaneously (help) fill in the blanks of our kiddos.  Some sticks, some not.

Me thinks, just me speaking, we spend a lifetime trying to figure out whointhehell we are. We spend time in many realms, "I like me", "Not so much", "This is hard", "This is WONDERFUL", "I wanna take a nap."

Like sands through the hourglass..  as we age.. perhaps somea them pieces of sand are a little bigger than others. and get stuck, as in, stuck in our ways.  I think "that's cool too".  We're deserving of living howintheheck we wanna.  Of course within the law, within the mostly approval of our mate.

Thank goodness for Al Gore. So much out there to help fill in the blanks. Dot.com. AOL. Now, we gots APPS.  X, Instagram. Facebook. TikTok. YouTube. WhatsApp, WeChat. SnapChat. Reddit. Pinterest. Quora. Amazon. We can order dinner. Groceries. A palm pilot. Check our blood pressure. Google what's wrong with us so we can tell the Doc when we go in for our appointment. Find a date, mate, ancestor. Facetime our grands in Sioux City. Zoom twelve fellow geezers from our HS class in twelve different cities. And we ain't even addressed Cable, streaming, CNN, Fox, ESPN. 

AI.   Hell's bells, soon, we won't need to fill in the blanks.  AI will do it for us.  Can AI tie my shoes?  Wipe my booty? VICTOR!!!!  Sorry, kinda, just worry about these blanks.

Apple doesn't fall very far from the tree.  Mabel, let's do a DNA test, that sucker don't look, act like neither of us.

Love, your blankety blank friend, Victurd

Just (another) old fashioned love song............

Something in the way she moves............. and I, will always love you... I've got sunshine on a cloudy day.. . Ain't no woman like the one I got......  I say a little prayer for you.....   I got you babe...  Ain't no mountain high enough.,,  At last...... you sing it Etta!

Of course.  Dayum love songs.  Hand me that spittoon Mildred, patooey!

So... some guy named Chad.. to get his MA in Sociology at the University of Florida studied the lyrics of the most popular songs on Billboard from 2002 to 2005... and also 1968 to 1971. Then, he got out a hammer, chisel, and this big rock and set in stone that 60 to 65 percent of songs are about LOVE.

Love hurts.  Hell to the yes Nazareth...  Hey Meat Loaf.. I too am praying for the end of time.  Diane, tell Jackie to clam it, don't go near that shady tree, and for behoogity sakes, keep your Bobby Brooks PULLED UP!

WHY WHY WHY?

Victor, you sound like a bitter old divorcee..  I AM NOT A BITTER OLD DIVORCEE!  Oh, sorry. I will tellya, you guys (not all, some) bitch (sorry, kinda, not really) about SPORTS.. it (Bitter ole divorcee) is why I listen to Sport's talk - so I ain't gotta listen to love songs the whole dayum commute, trip, drive, 24/7, yuck, patooey, spit spit spitoon.. they're coming to take me away haha, they're coming to take me away ho ho hee hee ha ha.

THAT'S IT!  Gimme songs about SPORTS!  Put me in coach, I'm ready to play today...   I'm talkin' baseball (Willie, Mickey and The Duke)..  We are the champions..  Eye of the Tiger..  it's fun to stay at the YYYY MMM CCC AAA.. and NOT to listen to Fools Rush In...and NO Elvis, I ain't never shot a rabbit but I just might kapow that AM dial or Sirius, Pandora whadever ya call it.. NO MORE LOVE SONGS.

Then Victor, turn the dial to Dance songs!  Hey, mebbe a good idea.. Tell 'em Archie.. you don't only sing, you dance just as good as you walk.....right you are Chubby..  Twist all night!... mebbe Moondance works Van, I LOVES ME some saxaphone! WAIT!  stop.. stymie halt..  ALTO...  nuh uh, nope, nommore.. .it takes TWO to Tango, and us single, scorned, divorced, grumpy  old men (AND women) don't wanna listen any more.  Gimme, give us....... Instrumentals. YEAH! That works!

Green Onions there Booker T...  Wipe Out Surfaris!  Fart on them love songs.. Howabout a little Classical Gas Mason?  Good idea Pee Wee.. TEQUILA!

No......... repeat NO songs about Kiss.. Hug.. Chapel... Darling.. Sweetheart.. Passion. .Beloved..   GIMME GOBBLEDY GOOP! Like....

Ooga-Chaka Ooga-Ooga Ooga-Chaka Ooga-Ooga Ooga-Chaka Ooga-Ooga Ooga-Chaka Ooga-Ooga, I am the walrus, goo goo g'joob...  Ramalam ding dong, ramalam ding dong, ramalam ding ding dong, rama lama lama lama-lama ding dong...  Oh Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh ah, shimmy shimmy ko-ko-bop, shimmy shimmy bop... Mairzy doats and dozy doats and liddle lamzy divey... I'm getting dizzy..  me too..

Nuttin' about love..  PUT ME IN A GOOD MOOD!

Here comes the sun...... Good vibrations.  We are family (YEAH BABY!)..  Celebrate good times COME ON!  Don't worry, be happy.. That's the way, uh huh uh huh, I like it!    Lovely day..  Blue Skies.. 

Howabout plain ole songs about animals?  Ya mean like, Wild Horses?  White Rabbit..  Crocodile Rock.. The lion sleeps tonight..    Howabout worms?  Huh? Worms?  Yeah.....

They always, always pick on me
They never, never let me be
I'm so very lonesome, awfully sad
It's a long time since I've been glad,

But,I know what I'll do bye and bye,
I'll eat some worms and then I'll die,
And when I'm gone you wait and see,
They'll all be sorry that they picked on me.

Eh what the hey... It'll be OK.

Victor, I saw you crying in the Chapel.  Nuh uh, I think we got married at The Country Club, can't remember!  Anyways.. I will survive.. Dancing on my own..  and Bill (Ain't no sunshine) I just looked out, it IS Sunny!

No.  This blog isn't serious.  Life itself is, can be, serious.  Fun.  We need fun. Victor, who said this was fun?  Eh, you're right.  I was trying to fun, realize it didn't work too well.

Oh well.  I truly love music, ALL. I do. (So, haha, that's makes THREE Times now I've said "I do.") 

I knew a gal who lived high up on a hill
Every Friday night, she'd give my heart a thrill
One night I came a-callin', I ran down the hill a-bawlin'
Cause she'd run off with some old fart named Bill

Gloom, despair, and agony on me
Deep, dark depression, excessive misery
If it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all
Gloom, despair, and agony on me

I'ma pickin'...  I'm a grinnin'..   and I'm BR-549

Nice ta meetya, party on Garth.......

Love, Victurd (Click below.. if you dare!)

Adam Sandler - Love Stinks HD (youtube.com)

You can't always get what you want.......

My favorite song, especially the long version that starts with the female choir.

Victor?  Yep?  Nobody asked.

Right you are. I want to write something that (I think) people will like, then I think of all our differences.

Howintheheck do you write on one page... something that fits everyone... when 'everyone', within them whatever you call those things..  ''''''''''''''''''''.... those things.

Everyone wears different size clothes.  Shoes.  Hat.  Shades. 36 double D, bralette for me, 32A,   Ya might have 5 bedrooms, 3 baths, duplex, condo, mom's basement, or, mebbe a studio apartment where the kitchen, living room, dining room is one in the same.

You there...  might have enough dough to go wherever, whenever in the heck you wanna.... and mebbe, anudder person thinks to themselves "I'm hungry, broke, do I have enough gas, would anyone see me, if, I drove to onea those little free pantries in hopes of a jar of peanut butter?

"I was raised (enter Jewish, Pentacostal, Baptist, athiest, Catholic, nondenominational, yada.)"

I'm married, single, divorced, widowed, raising my grandchild, middle aged child still lives with me, in a hostel.  Black, white, red, hetero, gay, bi......Differn't, we're all different.

We ain't heard the words common denominator since our bellies were flat.  Our bellies are innies, outties, scarred, dun lapped (over), still flat..  My belly hurts.  I feel good, like I knew that I would.  Thanks James.  You too Gladys, Hermie, Chico, Ray Ray, Ari... 

We love (sports, books, cats, dogs, working, retirement, golf, chess, pizza, hiking, napping, going to a movie, popcorn - tons of butter, popcorn - sans butter.  I'll have a Coke, Pepsi Zero, shot of Crown, Bud Light, water, sweet tea, margarita, no salt.)

Where I'm at it's 23 degrees...  54..  83... snowing..  sunny..  the sun ain't up yet..  it's a rainy night in Georga  (and only one windshield wiper works, ain't half bad.).  Well I love a rainy night. Rain rain go away.

I'm sleepy, rarin' to go, worked all night - gonna have a beer and go to bed.  I gotta get to work. My car won't start. I walk to work.  Carpool, John's week to drive. Hope the bus ain't crowded and that it's on time.

My house is a mess.. immaculate.. needs a light dusting..  has too many stairs (rooms, kids, lightbulbs out,) The grass needs mowed, my HOA does it, the apartment dude cuts mine.

I needta shave. I love my beard, I kinda look like ZZ Top.  Who says we women gotta shave our armpits?  Peach fuzz, crop failure whenever I try to grow a beard. 

You can't go out in public looking like that.  Watch me.  Honey, I gotta get all my makeup on, be down in 20 minutes. Grab your coat, we gotta roll.  Was that a fart?   Psssst, your barn door is open. Have you seen my car keys (readers, billfold, dentures, teddy bear?)

I drive an SUV, Harley, common van, Tesla, clunker, Smart car... hard bargain.

Cable costs me $278 a month, but I get like 342 channels.. I stream.. I just got an old antenna, works. You scream, I scream, but do we really ALL scream for Ice Cream? I'll have a bon bon, slice'a pep, Red Bull, piecea cold chicken, melba toast, Banquet $1.69 meal.

I work part-time, overtime almost every week, 9 to 5, from home, TWO JOBS (Biden/Trump did it, in the Library, with the candlestick.)

I like watching Tennis, rugby, my grandkid's soccer game, Chopped, the bird feeder, yoga pants.

I have no idea where I'm going with this.   GPS it.  Roads?  We don't need roads. Follow the yellow brick road. Chicken train, runnin all day.  What's your vector Victor? I'm early, late, in a hurry, speeding, tailgating, my turnsignal has been on for 22 miles, can't see the damn white lines. Alexa are you married?

Honey, we're outta lime.. the hell do we put in the coconut? Medium rare for me, yes, more mashed potatoes please, can I go play now I ate most of it. I hate seafood. This porridge is too cold. How can you have any pudding if yer don't eat yer meat? 

I'm dizzy, sad, tired, old, ready, coughing/sneezing, go take a covid test, NO, YES, I'm horny, not tonight, sorry, we just did in February.  Wanna jump in the hot tub? IT'S 27 DEGREES OUT! I know, its only 20' from the back door.

Are you wearing your bra, socks, dentures, brother's jeans?

Do ya like good music, yeah yeah, that sweet soul music. Nope, Bach for me.  I like John Prine, the Stones, gospel, new country, silence actually.

I wanna go to Rome, Cancun, Branson, Smithville Lake, our cabin, see the Grand Canyon, to them garage sales in Archie....Vegas baby, the Smithsonian(s), Times Square, see that lady with the torch, see them four dead guys in granite.  Sturgis. On a cruise, sleep in a tent, cabin, VRBO, Marriott.

Kimosabe, look up.  What you see? Millions of Stars. What that tell you? "Astronomically-speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time-wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you,Tonto?" "You dumber than buffalo... It mean someone stole tent."

I'm Indian, German, English, the girt from Ipanema, Pee Wee Herman, Bart Simpson whothehell are you?

Your upbringing, did you have your own bedroom, bike, get spanked, go to church, go over the river and through the woods to grannys? Have a pizza night?  Use the L word?

Are you related to any geezers that tell the same story over and over?

Are you related to any geezers that tell the same story over and over?

Alexa, turn out the lights.  Say goodnight Gracie. So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, good night I hate to go and leave this pretty sight.  Goodnight Chet, Goodnight David.

Tommie?  Did you brush your teeth?

And that's the way it is.  Will ya love me till the end of time?

Love, Victurd

You're still here?  It's over.  Go home.  Go

Bah-da bah-da-da-da

Bah-da bah-da-da-da
Bah-da bah-da-da-da

Monday, Monday, so good to me
Monday mornin', it was all I hoped it would be
Oh Monday mornin', Monday mornin' couldn't guarantee
That Monday evenin' you would still be here with me

Criminy.  Just an old fashioned love song playin' on the radio.. no, that ain't it... in the middlea my blog, that's it.

Monday, Monday, can't trust that day
Monday, Monday, sometimes it just turns out that way
Oh Monday mornin' you gave me no warnin' of what was to be
Oh Monday, Monday, how could you leave and not take me

OK lady, make up your mind.  You love Monday or not?  Maybe this was written by a hound pooch eh? "How could you leave and not take me?"  The feelings of hound pooches heal faster'n us humans, and you can bet your bippy said hound pooch will be waggin' it's tail upon one's return.

Monday.  I know it's that because when I got up at ugly-thirty today, it wasn't the Farm Report (Saturday and Sunday) it was the local news. My pillbox also tells me so.

Every other day, every other day
Every other day of the week is fine, yeah
But whenever Monday comes, but whenever Monday comes
A-you can find me cryin' all of the time

Well... no..  not really.  Mebbe back in the day.  If you're real old like me (Bless you for still being here) you might remember Maynard G. Crebbs... and.. hearing Monday..  reminds him of "WORK!"  "WORK!"  As in, work beckons.  Ain't retirement great?

You there... ya little whippersnapper...  "You better watch out.. You better not cry..You better not pout I'm telling you why, ya don't git your little booty up and going on the commute, ya ain't gonna have any Social Security.... ya hear?"  Remember the Whiners on SNL?  No one likes a whiner!

Monday, Monday, so good to me
Monday mornin', it was all I hoped it would be
But Monday mornin', Monday mornin' couldn't guarantee
That Monday evenin' you would still be here with me  

Nope, there are no guarantees in life, in spitea what that extended car warranty sales rep tellsya.  Take weather for example.  Or cars.  Sport's teams.  Relationships. Even Bic lighters and Everready bunny batteries sputter...

Every other day, every other day
Every other day of the week is fine, yeah (yeah)
But whenever Monday comes, but whenever Monday comes
A-you can find me cryin' all of the time

I like Mondays. Do. Did. Oh sure, certain I bitched, moaned like the rest.. I will forever and ever thank my tiny college's Logic teacher who was the first I heard.. tell...  "No, you don't have to, you get to."

So yeah, c'mere Monday... take that Tuesday... and whatever them remaining days are (brb, gonna peek at my pillbox, I forget.)  Can't find it.  I'll check with Paul Harvey, he'll know.

Monday, Monday, can't trust that day
Monday, Monday, it just turns out that way
Oh Monday, Monday, won't go away
Monday, Monday, it's here to stay
Oh Monday, Monday

Oh Monday, Monday

Sure, The Mamas and the Papas of life have hitches in the getalong (don't we all though), checkengine light warnings.. .kids with dirty diapers..  trantrum throwing two year olds.. .prices go up, pay raises don't keep the same pace.

We'd mebbe all be spoiled little brats if everything, everyday, went wunnerful!  That Baby Ruth candy bar guy failed 7 outta 10 times.  He played 7 days too, he didn't get the YIPPEE of "TGIF"!

Al Bundy sold shoes.  Andy Sheriff'ed.  Kramer said of Seinfeld  “He's a joke maker. Tell him Jerry." I COULD NOT hold a candle to my grandpa... he missed one day of work in 31 years.. his job at the brick plant was to move bricks from the plant to the train, via a wheelbarrow.  Goodness.

We're all (I believe) blessed.. lucky.. it's hella fun 'to be here'. Even on Mondays.  

Many many many many don't do the Dolly Parton Monday thru Friday 9 to 5. (Never really understood why Dolly never gottta lunch break.)  Fire, police, letter carriers, airplane suitcase loader uppers, casino folks, milk/bread dudes, stacka Frito guys, MANY.... weird days off..... complain complain is their name?  It's much easier, or so I hear, if ya look at it like "I get to."

Many have work at fun.  The other extreme was our ground mechanic at United Airlines.. Victor, don't name names.. OK, won't.  Anyways, we let our equipment literally fall apart versus taking to him for repair, you might get hit with a wrench (open end or box, both hurt!), a curse word, glare, yada.  Enda the day (didn't matta' Monday, whatever day), he's take a Magic Marker to the 30 day calendar, draw a HUGE X thru the day, like, "Take THAT you basta!".. Sad to think some do go thru life like that.  Mebbe many of us do but only the innards know?

Oh great, this is where Victor preaches..   Nah, not really.  Just reminding ME (hitchhike if you want) niceness whilst attempting smile, wins out, 7 days a week.  (The Beatles musta been on drugs what with their 8 days a week, and no coach, there ain't sucha thing as 110%!). 

I'd better run.. I have to pee......

Victor?  Yes?  You GET to pee.

I reckon that's one way to look at #1, yes.

Rainy days and Mondays make the grass grow, the waterfalls fall.. allow many of nature's critters to drink..   Funny story (VICTOR! You tell it, WE'LL decide if it's funny.)  Ahm, OK.  The other day, onea my wipers stopped wiping.  Uh huh.  Driver's side works, passenger side no.  Tightened it, worked for awhile.  Now it ain't moving again.  I'll tighten it, soon.  Drove home from work in a slight downpour yesterday.  I'm pretty sure the little logic teacher guy would say "Drive safe, yes, but too, it's ok to laugh about it."  I do, did.

Happy Monday........... why not?

Love, Victurd

GOFINDME..........

I dreamed I was in a Hollywood movie... and that I was the star of this movie......

Hi, my name is Waldo.......... and after much deliberation, consideration, adulation, reiteration, libation,  lotta 'ations',  I've decided to enter the transfer portal... who knew when I arrived at Billy Jewell College, my NIL would be cleaning the johns of the gymnasium 5 nights a week.  Pew.  Eww.  Seeya later Cardinalgator...

You there........... yes, you.  Wow. I see ya ain't showered yet.  Your hair could use a little dab'a Brylcreem.. and that breath... yuck... take five, shower, shave (not you Hazel), BRUSH chops, hair, PUT A BRA ON.. then, come back........

And...........

Gofindme.   Me.  Waldo

I am considering transferring to THE LARGEST UNIVERSITY IN THE UNITED STATES.  I will be one of 68,442 students.  I might try to be an astronaut.  For real.  This University was founded in the 60's during the push globally of Space Travel, in fact, the motto is "Reach for The Stars."

Last year, 54,977 fellow snotnoses applied for admission..  22,560 were accepted. With my 2.14 GPA, I figere I gotta decent chance for admission.  If I gets me the edjumacation there..... upon Gratuation I will sing "Now it's time to say goodbye, to all our company..  MIC...  KEY...  MOUSE." No, not the Left Coast, the udder one.  What University is this?  Gofindme.

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Or....... 

I've always dreamed of being famous.  I can't really sing, dance, act, write, but, who cares, I'll figure something out.  I'm considering transferring to this University to follow in the footsteps of some celebs who attended, namely, Angeline Jolie, Anne Hathaway, Alec Baldwin, Billy Crystal, John Cusack, Mahershala Ali, Lady Gaga, Donald Glover, Martin Scorsese, Spike Lee, Woody Allen, Adam Sandler, and the dude who started Twitter, X, whateve they call it, Jack Dorsey.  Crapola, just imagine the school plays. Left some names out, but all in all, 12 Grammy Award winners, 25 Tony Award winners, 38 Academy Award winners, 5 US Governors, 17 Billionaires, and Danny Partridge in a pear tree,  JK on the last one.  GOFINDME. (No, it ain't UCLA, USC, Stanford.  Udder Coast).   Hint, our logo is a torch.

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Then again, I might "Hang Ten."  According to the Beach Boys...... no, that ain't it. According to Surfer Magazine, this school is THE BEST "Surf College" in the good ole U S of A.  Pacifically, yes, it's on the Left Coast.  There are some smart dudes, dudettes who go here.  In fact, it's lovingly called "The Public Ivy." The last twenty or so years, it took a GPA of 4.0 or better to gain access.  Eh, small detail. I can surf man. No, you can't Waldo.  I'LL LEARN THEN!  2,178 acres overlooking the Coast.

Reseach is HUGE here.  19 organized research units, 8 School of Medicine research units, 6 Oceanography units.  I just wanna stick out my thumb and little finger, hunt for 'bitchin' mackin' waves, and shapely coeds.  Sorry. Kinda, sorta.  Has absolutely nothing to do with this university overlooking the most popular nude beach in the US. My fingers ain't crossed, why you ask?

Gofindme.

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In heaven there ain't no beer. That's why, in this Cheese State University, they are known for being #1 on "Lots of beer"...  Almost annually, this University is ranked among The Best college campuses in the US.  Prolly ain't got nuttin' to do with hiccups.  Something tells me Waldo might fit in.

Gofindme

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"I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for a Student Loan today."  At $84,126 per year, this University is officially the most expensive in the US.  Hint.  My buddy Schwabby just posted (on Marth 17th) a picture of this city's died 'Green River". Symbolism eh?

Gofindme some Waldo.

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Oh where oh where can Waldo use his Candy Crush skill academically?  Horshack tells us "I KNOW, I KNOW!"  raises his hand... and, it's based in Redmond, WA, with campuses also in Singapore and Bilboa, Spain. THE very first college to offer a degree in Gaming. 

Gofindme the name of the school Waldo is twiddling his two gaming thumbs.

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You WILL NOT find Waldo at any of the ten colleges below... because... they are the 'top 10' Least Fun College campuses (according to Total Sorority Move's website.  

Virginia – Liberty University
California – Biola University
South Carolina – Bob Jones University
Alabama – Athens State University
Pennsylvania – Messiah College
Indiana – Taylor University
Oklahoma – Oral Roberts University
Maryland – The University of Maryland – University College
Arkansas – Harding University
Illinois – Wheaton College

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Waldo (and probably most blog readers) is/are bored with pamphlets, filling out admission applications, attaching his dismal 2.14 GPA transcript.  Instead, he is saying "Screw this, I'm gonna just go take a cruise."

WALDO!  WAIT!  You can do that, AND gain credit!  On this Gofindme, just need the name of the 'college.'  Yes, you jump aboard a cruise ship...100 days! Travel, live, and take courses on the ship... and... visit TEN countries. (This year's itinerary includes  Germany, Portugal, Morocco, Ghana, Kenya, South Africa, Mauritius, Malaysia, India and Thailand.)

Total cost for  tuition, housing, meals, amenities, academic field costs, starter internet package, travel health insurance, student services and projected fuel fee $32,900 for a standard cabin, $36,100 for an uppity premium cabin.

Sorry Waldo...  this college mandates you have a 2.50 GPA, and, in looking at your combined savings, checking, ahm, nevermind.

GOFINDME answers..........

1. Largest (student population) in the US, University of Central Florida, Orlando, FL.  See ya real soon.

2. All them there famous names went to New York University, NYC, NY.

3. Hang ten on them bitchin', mackin' waves whilst you no peeky at the nude beach?  University of California, San Diego.

4.  Beer?  Cheese?  BEST Campus?  University of Wisconsin, Madison

5. THE MOST EXPENSIVE college in the US?  Get your green out, it's the University of Chicago, Chicago, IL

6. Grab them controllers, study whilst you play Candy Crush, League of Legends, Minecraft, World of Warcraft, yada... DigiPen Institute of Technology, Redmond, WA.

7. Get seasick, miss class?  Cruise baby, a hunnerd days...  the name of the 'college' is Semester At Sea. (The current academic sponsor is Colorado State University, Fort Collins, CO. Ain't sure whatinthehell river the cruise starts on!)  OK, I guess you technically sail outta Vancouver, BC)

Thanks for playin',

Love, Victurd

Ya don't gets no extra credit, but, in case you're looking for THE LAMEST (most boring) college in your state:

Alabama – Athens State University
Alaska – University of Alaska Anchorage
Arizona – Arizona Christian University
Arkansas – Harding University
California – Biola University
Colorado – Colorado Christian University
Connecticut – University of Saint Joseph
Delaware – Wilmington University
Florida – Southeastern University
Georgia – Georgia Gwinnett College
Hawaii – Chaminade University of Honolulu
Idaho – Northwest Nazarene University
Illinois – Wheaton College
Indiana – Taylor University
Iowa – Dordt College
Kansas – Central Christian College of Kansas
Kentucky – Asbury University
Louisiana – Louisiana College
Maine – University of New England
Maryland – The University of Maryland – University College
Massachusetts – Bay Path College
Michigan – Spring Arbor University
Minnesota – University of Northwestern – St. Paul
Mississippi – Mississippi College
Missouri – Evangel University
Montana – University of Great Falls
Nebraska – Bellevue University
Nevada – Nevada State College
New Hampshire – Rivier University
New Jersey – New Jersey City University
New Mexico – Institute of American Indian Arts
New York – CUNY Queens College
North Carolina – Montreat College
North Dakota – University of Mary
Ohio – Cedarville University
Oklahoma – Oral Roberts University
Oregon – George Fox University
Pennsylvania – Messiah College
Rhode Island – Rhode Island College
South Carolina – Bob Jones University
South Dakota – South Dakota School of Mines & Technology
Tennessee – Southern Adventist University
Texas – Southwestern Assemblies of God University
Utah – Brigham Young University
Vermont – Norwich University
Virginia – Liberty University
Washington – Seattle Pacific University
West Virginia – Bluefield State College
Wisconsin – Alverno College
Wyoming – University of Wyoming

Round round get around..........

Ya got me going in circles.......  

Calling out around the World are you ready for a brand new beat, Summer's here and the time is right for dancing in the street.

Tie a yellow ribbon round the old oak tree.

Another trip around the sun.........

Ring around the Rosie........

Here we go round the mulberry bush......

She'll be comin' around the mountain.....

Merry go round.....   Round peg, square hole....   rally round.... round of applause..   round robin....  round table..  round up..  ask around..   round off..   round the clock..   turn around..   round trip....

I really wouldn't blame you if you "yeah, yeah, yeah" skipped all that crap and got down to here.  Rinse, repeat.  Another.  Blessed are we that are here today.  Some ain't.  We get another one. Life expectancy, here in the good ole US of A is 28,207 days.  Might as well smile eh?

It's funny (WHICH, could mean "ha ha", or strange, unusual).. that the closer we get to you-know-what, the more we think about it, talk about it.

Yesterday, I stole a quote from another friend on Facebook.  "Your time on Earth is limited. Don't try to "age with grace," age with mischief, audacity, and a good story to tell."    A buddy of mine chimed in with a wonderful (yet sad) tribute  "My brother in law's mother approached her life in this manner and she passed away this morning... at 108 years..  She never missed a day without her bottle of beer."

Of course of course of course, I ain't suggesting we ALL have our bottle of beer daily (literally), but, I look at 'bottle of beer' as to fervency. Thirst.  Zest.  Git up and go.  Yippee Ki-Yay.  We, be, should be anyways, the antithesis of Debbie Downer, Grumpy Gus.

Ahm, Victor?  Yes?  I think, most (if not a hunnerd percent of the days) YOU have a bottle of beer.  DO AS I SAY SONNY, NOT AS I DO! .........

Of course, kidding.  I ain't preaching, honest.  

Round, around, rinse, repeat.  OK, I'll say it in ALL CAPS:

I LOVE HUMAN BEINGS THAT WALK AROUND WITH US THAT LIVE LIFE LIKE "I AM GONNA SMILE, BE HAPPY EVERY MINUTE OF THE DAY."  You seen 'em.  I seen 'em.  Their attitude seems to rub off, YUM.  

It's so easy to fall in love. No, that ain't it.  It just seems like, for them, it's so easy to do that day in, day out.  Round the clock. Round the calendar.  HOW YOU ABLE TO DO DAT?  I dunno but it's so wunnerful to see.

These words, thoughts, come to mind.  Nice. Happy. Smile. Ask how you are, first. Then, they listen. And smile again. They say things like "You doing ok?"  "You look nice today."  "So good seeing you!"

WHAT GIVES?  Don't they get indigestion?  Have wedgies?  Drip a bit, oops.  Snarl? Have an itchy itchy rash?  "I'm sorry sir/ma'am, do you have another card you can use, this one says "Declined" 

In some ways, they're like that Whack-A-Mole game. They pop in, up.. but... you don't wanna whack em, you wanna hug 'em, thank 'em, BE LIKE 'EM.

Of course, they drive the same pot-holed roads, watch the same 'ugly' nightly news. Get sick.  Lose loved ones.  Have not-so-good days.  They get cold, hot, tired, want/need, rest.  Too.

Life has the mallet.  It tries to whack us all down. Stop tail-gaiting me you muther dubber!  Why, WHY do I ALWAYS get in the line "Price check, register 4."  I'M IN A HURRY, COME ON! Blurt, hurt, hawk a quid (Sorry, happens.. don't they have quids?).  I can't stand (lines, snotnoses that get fast food orders wrong, people that NEVER smile, old fogies that are slow, get in my way.. (oops, nevermind, that's me!).. 

You get the drift.  They don't.  Every day.  Every situation.  Every choice.  Everything seems to be about choice.  They teach.  Model.  Love.  Live. Smile. This day. The next day. Every day.

It's a fairly common theme the mood of our Nation ain't great.  Discourse. Sides. We find it hard to like 'different' from us.  Sad.

THANK GOODNESS FOR THOSE WHO YOU CAN'T KNOCK THE SMILE OFFA THEIR FACE.

Without saying, they 'say', "I AIN'T GOT TIME FOR A BAD DAY." YOLO.

I wish I had the watoosies to name, names.  You know 'em, I know 'em.  I am ever so thankful for them.

They are the marination for Monday.  The tonic for Tuesday.  The WEEEEEE DOGGIES  (happy) for Wednesday.  The THank you for this day Thursday, the freshness for Friday, . the satisfied for Saturday.. The always sunny disposition for Sunday.

Round round get around they get around.

Now, all we gots to do is figure out how to attach to these (wunnerful) tumbleweeds... latch on to their snowball of fun, happy... multiply.. eventually OUTNUMBER - ugly.

Un momento at a time I reckon.

"The greatness of man is not how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and ability to affect those around him positively."  Bob Marley

Dadburnit, dadgummit, doggoneit, drats, shucks, golly darn, Damnit Jim, hawk a quid, I've got an itchy itchy rash.. 

Plop, plop, fizz, fizz, OH WHAT A RELIEF IT IS......... to see THEM.  Have THEM in our lives.

Maybe we could steal their shoes (OK OK, BORROW THEM), walk awhile in 'em.. simply see "How dey do dat?"

I'd better go now.  Gotta get this wedgie out. Seeya around.

By Henry Gibson

Love, Victurd

Ssssshhhhhhh..... q u i e t..... UH OH......

 Silence............. yes, Tremeloes, is, can be, golden.

There's nature silence, which, ain't really silent - but, we liketa think of it as that.  Say, you're on the farm.. down by the pond.. complete still... .except for... the frogs.... vely, vely audially pleasing.

Or, mebbe... you and the Mrs... right there smack dab in middle'a the cul-de-sac, front porch swing... back and forth... nuttin' but...  crickets... again and again, crickets.  Temporarily lost from the medulla oblongata -work, hustle, bustle, commute, checkenginelight, what's for dinner, bills, price of (everything), annoying coworkers, micromanaging managers.. yeah baby, gimme, gimme..   crickets   (and mebbe... a massage.. glass of vino.. slice'a peperoni, anything BUT the regular ole regular 'noise' of the day.)

Puerta Penasco, Mehico.. the Sea of Cortez.. silence, but, the expression, 'mood' of the waves, water, tide.  Differn't, often.  A yummy 'silence'.

Then, there's that silence that maybe ain't so great.  You and the (friend, coworker, mate, sibling, boss, fast food got it wrong kid, the cable company rep you finally speak to after what seems like 20 minutes of inability to circumvent their phone recording) get, got, PISSY.  You meet again, er, next time.. the eyeballs purposely avoid the other.. ya feel like the polarization of whatever of the ends of two magnets it is that there's no way in hell they'll get together.  The only way out is "I'm sorry" or, a hug, or, an eyeball to eyeball smile.. all'a them answers are what ya need, but, also, the thought of, makeya wanna vomit.  Not no, but hells to the no.

Little ones, those of the age they can't vote, drive, ride a bike without training wheels, can't even write their name on a Big Chief tablet..  yes, TODDLERS.  You're in charge (mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, big sister/brother, babysitter, yada)..  and silence happens.   UH OH.  In your defense, there's two, mebbe three'a them rugrats... you may have Betty Davis eyes, but, YAIN'T got Marty Feldman eyes, ie, no way Jose (or Josetta) you can watch alla the kids, alla the time.

Band camp, this Grandpa sitting happily in the living room.. coloring (I think I remember) with the 6 year old while the 8 year old laid on the floor watching Spongebob.  All was good, then I remembered there was additionally a 3 year old.  Silence, then, "UH OH."  Yes, while it wasn't officially pancake day, apparently 3 yr old thought so... she'd gotten in the fridge, found a nearly full bottle of Strawberry favored syrup, and emptied it on the kitchen (carpeted) floor.  UH OH.   Damnit darnit, but, whaddaya do.. them baby blues look up atya, smile.. so you return the smile and grab two rolls of paper towels, then, clean the mess/silence, up.

Silence.  You're in WallyWorld.  That #2 urge happens.  You go in the BR.  7 stalls.  VICTOR, DON'T GO THERE. Ok, you're right, I won't.  Let's just leave it at, that silence can be em-bare-assing.

Sports. VICTOR?  Yes?  Do we haveta?  Sorry, kinda sorta, yes.  Bottom'a the 9th, two outs, two on, three balls, two strikes..    Roundball.. 4th quarter.. score tied..at the free throw line for a one on one, 3 seconds on the clock.... 4th down and inches.. your team goes for it...  you don't get it, they win..   or mebbe, , right there on the smallest of all the small baseball fields, your kiddo (or grandkiddo), what, the T-baller with the too bigga hat, too bigga uni, bat, almost as big as the kiddo... steps up to bat................ AND........

SILENCE..............

THEN..............

SMACK....... line drive up the middle...........  CLANK... free throw off the fronta the rim, what now?..  TUSH PUSH, hell to the yeah, FIRST DOWN!....   CRACK..  he/she hit it~! YAY, but.. he/she runs to 3rd insteada 1st.  Alla the above brings smile, more tenseness, laughter, cheering, yelling, you're recording it, listen later, then ask "Do I REALLY sound like that?" Uh huh, do.

Meditation.  You coulda heard a pin drop.  Buffering..   Church was about to begin.  Clam it Harold, they're about to announce the PowerBall #'s.  I can't believe I ate the whole thing.  Damnit Margaret, electricity went out again.. And then, after all that (oh baby) noise, you simply lie silently in each other's arms. VICTOR!  Sorry, happens, or, at least it usedta!

Much.  Much interrupts, upsets silence. Rain. Wind. A siren in the distance. Snap crackle pop. Remember AOL dial up? Fingernails, chalkboard? Help, I've fallen and I can't get up.  Sleighbells ring, are ya listening? Flatulence. Well? Happens.  Life's a gas. 

Silence is golden, but, so is noise.

Love, Victurd

PS... I didn't badmouth librarians Pat!